By Five Towns Marriage Initiative
In Parashas Ki Savo we are told: “Cursed is the one who does not uphold the words of this Torah.” The Ramban explains that each person has to uphold the Torah in full, and we can’t say about even one law that it is no longer applicable. Nor can we think that we can keep the whole Torah with the exception of omitting even one commandment. In addition, the Ramban says something striking: This curse also applies to someone who could have a positive influence on other people but fails to assist them and remains unconcerned with their spiritual welfare.
There is clearly no one more important than our spouses and children, on whom we can have a positive influence and assist every day with their spiritual welfare. When we see our spouses or children straying from the Torah’s path, and if we know we can have a positive impact on their choices, then we absolutely must make whatever effort we can to influence them. In order to properly uphold the words of Torah, we have to show how we value its words.
It has been said that everyone in the world is a zealot. What is each person zealous for? One person is a zealot about watching his favorite sports team, and another is a zealot about her exercise class. How many of us can truly state that we are zealots for the honor of Hashem? Here we have an opportunity to look around us and see whom we can influence positively to enable them to uphold the Torah’s commandments.
There are two ways to fill a cup. One way is to pour from a pitcher; while the cup fills with water, the pitcher loses water in the process. A second way is to fill the pitcher until it overflows and the extra water pours into the cup. Let’s work on becoming better at upholding the Torah’s directives so that our good deeds will spill over to those near and dear to us, and we will, with the help of Hashem, have a positive influence on all those we encounter. v
Five Towns Marriage Initiative provides educational programs, workshops, and referrals to top marriage therapists. FTMI will help offset counseling costs when necessary and also runs an anonymous shalom bayis hotline for the entire community Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings, 10:00–11:00 p.m. For the hotline or for more information, call 516-430-5280 or e‑mail dsgarry@msn.com.