By Chanita Teitz
“Dor holech, v’dor ba.” It is the end of a generation, the end of an era for our family, for our shul, and for our community.
One month ago, I wrote about milestones. Little did I know that my mother-in-law, HaRabbanis Aidel Gitel Teitz, would reach her final milestone. She passed away on motzaei Shabbos, 27 Sivan, July 2, surrounded by family members.
We, her children, have also reached a milestone. My husband’s daily routine included stopping by to say “good morning” to his mother every day after Shacharis. As long as he could say “Good morning, Mommy,” he saw himself as someone’s child and he felt young. Now his routine has changed. He can no longer experience the reciprocal love between mother and child and now he feels a generation older.
For the past almost 16 years since my father-in-law was niftar, we, her family, became her support system. During all these years, she never spent a night alone. On a rotating basis, someone from the family always slept there. Someone was always with her for Shabbos, and children and grandchildren were there every Shabbos afternoon, visiting and staying for shalosh seudos.
When my in-laws moved to Kew Gardens Hills to assume the positions of rav and rebbetzin in the shul that my husband built, she became beloved by all in the neighborhood. All who knew her were captivated by her warmth and simchas ha’chaim. For many years she hosted shiurim in her house on Shabbos afternoon for the women of our shul and neighborhood. She gave many of the shiurim, and her favorite topic was Pirkei Avos.
The middos taught in Pirkei Avos were the core of her life. She was a pure person, honest, kind, and loving to all. She was guided her entire life by five lessons that she learned from her teachers, who were the students of Sarah Schenirer, in Bais Yaakov Torah Im Derech Eretz in Riga, Latvia, where she lived with her family for two years waiting to receive their visas to America.
These five guidelines were:
Don’t watch anything that you would be embarrassed about if someone saw you watching it.
Don’t listen to something you would be ashamed to relate to others or speak words that you would be embarrassed about if people heard you say them.
Don’t go anywhere you don’t belong.
Don’t do anything you shouldn’t be doing.
Have your hands open to give tzedakah.
My mother-in-law never spoke an unseemly word. She came to this country at the age of 14. She graduated from high school and attended Brooklyn College. During that period when so many Jewish immigrants and children of immigrants were leaving Yiddishkeit, her parents kept her close to home and close to their traditions.
She often told us that her father sang a song with the children, first mentioning all the things you can’t do on Shabbos, then livening the tempo and mentioning all the enjoyable things you can do on Shabbos, ending on a high note, emphasizing the positive.
My mother-in-law loved poetry and drama. She wrote beautiful poetry in Yiddish and read her poetry to the women of her shuls, first in Williamsburg and later in Queens.
My mother-in-law believed in achdus and shalom. Her second-favorite song after Ani Ma’amin was “Hinei mah tov u’mah na’im sheves achim gam yachad.” Her home emanated peace and harmony and was the center for the entire family. Her life centered on her husband, family, and shul.
I remember when my in-laws’ annual Chanukah party was in their home. As the family grew, the party moved to the shul. This Chanukah gathering is an opportunity for children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren to see one another and reignite our connections which we try to maintain throughout the year.
I tell my youngest grandchildren to look around the room at all their cousins. Everyone they see is a descendant of Bubbie Teitz. They are wide-eyed as they look in disbelief and amazement at their extended family. I am also in awe of this legacy. Bubbie was our true matriarch.
My mother-in-law spoke at the Chanukah party this past year with all the energy of years past. Her voice was clear and her berachah to us all was powerful and cherished. Her berachos are treasured both by us and by all who received them.
Our family also had a monthly berachah party at my mother-in-law’s house for all the “girls”—aunts, nieces, and cousins. We would each bring different foods and recite the different berachos, answering Amen to each other’s berachos. My mother-in-law said the first berachah and also would make a little speech, giving us a berachah for a healthy new month. We have these priceless speeches on video.
It eventually became necessary to get an aide for my mother-in-law. Just recently she told her aide, “Black or white, Jew or non-Jew, we all have one Father and He loves us, and I love you.” Her aides developed a warm relationship with her and were as devoted to her as she was devoted to them, making sure that they ate and thanking them for all they did for her.
Years ago, while living in Williamsburg and later in Queens, my mother-in-law served as the executive secretary of the ladies’ auxiliary of Ezras Torah, traveling to all the meetings no matter how far. She received a berachah from Rav Henkin, zt’l, to be active in Ezras Torah for many years. Hashem granted her arichus yamim and granted a special gift to our family of her presence in our lives for so long.
Now we are facing the end of a chapter, but not the end of the book. The next chapter will be written by our family as we continue without our matriarch. We will continue the monthly berachah parties and the yearly Chanukah parties, but at these and at all future simchos, she will be missed. Yehi zichrah baruch.
Upcoming Events
Chazaq presents Mrs. Perl Abramowitz. Sunday, July 31 at Beth Gavriel Community Center, 66-35 108th Street in Forest Hills. Refreshments at 8:15, lecture at 8:30. For women only. For more information, call 718-285-9132 or e-mail Info@Chazaq.org.
Chazaq presents R’ Benzion Klatzko. Sunday, July 31. R’ Klatzko currently serves as a national director of college outreach, overseeing Jewish education throughout North America, and is a successful author, cantor, music producer, and mohel. He is founder and owner of prominent websites, programs, and organizations such as Od Yavo Foundation (www.OdYavo.org), Shabbat.com, and Uma Alert (www.UmaAlert.com). He continues to be recognized as an inspirational and imperative member of the Jewish community striving to make a difference. The lecture will be held at the Young Israel of West Hempstead. Minchah will be at 6:45 p.m. with the lecture to follow. All are welcome to attend. For further information, call 718-285-9132, e-mail info@chazaq.org, or visit www.CHAZAQ.org.
KGH Jewish Library information. The next few weeks will not offer the usual hours because of a recent decision to take some time off. The library will be closed until Tuesday, August 9, when it will reopen from 6:00–7:30 p.m. Books presently out will not be considered due until August 9 (they are “automatically” renewed till then—no need to e-mail), and the same for books taken out this Sunday. During the two weeks the library is closed, books can be returned through the outdoor mail slot. Please ring first. If no answer, please place them gently through the slot. Overdue books are also welcome through the mail slot—during this time and at all times. No fine is charged, but the library welcomes contributions toward new books. Contact kghjewishlibrary@gmail.com. As always, donations of Torah books are much appreciated, especially children’s books and novels. Please no sefarim or secular books.
Shabbos in Kew Gardens Hills by Event Brite. How would you like to spend an inspiring Shabbos where you will get to know quality shadchanim who care about you as a person? Whether or not you meet him or her through this Shabbaton, you will get one step closer to finding your bashert! Enjoy an uplifting, spiritual Shabbaton with a caring host family, make new friends, and enjoy an amazing, life-changing workshop. Get ready to experience “ultimate clarity about whatever is holding back your bashert.” This weekend, July 29–30 in Kew Gardens Hills. For Orthodox Jewish singles in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. With a special workshop by speaker Carolyn Chaya Yehudit Battino, holistic health coach, life coach, and shadchan for Jewish families. This is a weekend you don’t want to miss. Hurry and book your spot ASAP for $95. For questions, e-mail AwesomeJewishEvents@Gmail.com or call 516-408-2433 https://AwesomeJewishEvents.EventBrite.com
Annual women’s Three Weeks shiurim series. By Rabbi Hayim Schwartz. “The Wisdom of the Alef–Beis” July 30, 5:00 p.m. Refreshments sponsored by Gittle Bekelnitzky, in commemoration of the 19th yahrzeit of Simcha Gedalia ben Shraga Feivush. (Note, no shiur August 6). August 13 (erev Tishah B’Av), 4:45 p.m. Congregation Ahavas Yisroel Social Hall, 73rd Avenue and 147th Street. v
Chanita Teitz is a real-estate broker at Astor Brokerage in Kew Gardens Hills, serving the entire Queens vicinity. For all your real-estate needs, call her at 718-263-4500 or e-mail chanita@astorbrokerage.com.