By Mordechai Schmutter

One morning, my wife and I woke up to find that our closet bar had collapsed. Frankly, I’m surprised it held on as long as it did.

Not too long, though. Yes, our house was built in 1937, but until we moved in, the bedroom had no closet. Because why on earth would a master bedroom need a closet?

Actually, there were a lot of things that our house needed when we first moved in, but we didn’t have a lot of money, seeing as we’d just bought a house. So we hired a contractor whose main strategy for saving money was to do everything wrong.

He actually installed two closets in our room. The other one has a bi-fold door that doesn’t really move, except to topple on the person trying to close it. But I don’t use that, because it’s a closet for long dresses, and I wear very few of those. Just my kittel. I used to keep my bathrobe in there, but now I keep it on the coat rack near the front door (we have no closet near the front door, either) because I noticed that the only time I actually wear a bathrobe is when someone comes to the door when I’m working in my pajamas.

But this closet has two bars: I take the left side and my wife takes the right. That way, we can each open the sliding door and see all our options. But not at the same time. Especially since the door he installed is bigger than half the closet.

But one of the first things that I learned, sharing a closet, is that my wife owns way more clothes than I do. For example, on any given day, my wife can choose from a blouse, a shell, a sweater, a sweatshirt, a poncho that is definitely not waterproof, or a top. Whereas I wear a shirt. Every day.

Or my robe.

My wife has so many clothes and she changes so often that she doesn’t always have time to hang things up right away. She generally does it as one big pile on Fridays. I have no idea how many clothes she has.

My big fear was that if we shared the closet, eventually my wife would take over the whole thing, and I’d be left keeping all my clothes in the entranceway with my robe, which isn’t actually the worst idea. So I keep placeholders. When I stop wearing a shirt, instead of getting rid of it and having her take over the space, I keep it in there. This way, if I ever get a new shirt and there’s really no room for it, I can remove one of my older shirts and use the space. Though I don’t know how much room for expansion I think I’m going to need. Am I suddenly coming into 500 shirts?

But I’ve been operating under this logic for as long as we’ve been in the house, which is about 10 years now, plus there’s whatever logic she’s operating under, and eventually the bottom closet bar couldn’t take it anymore, and the plastic piece holding it to the wall gave way. We don’t even know when it happened, because the bar didn’t fall on the floor; it just dropped about two inches, held up by all the clothes that had absolutely nowhere to fall.

So while my wife went out to buy a new closet piece, I decided to sort through my clothes to make things lighter. The understanding was that my wife would do the same.

I started by making piles, and I found that I had way more piles to make than just a “keep” pile and a “toss” pile. The “toss” pile, number-wise, was pile 5:

Pile 1 was items that I wear. This consists of enough shirts to take me through the Nine Days, almost enough white shirts to take me through the longer yamimtovim provided I don’t suddenly eat stuffed cabbage on Day 9, and apparently I own more than one functional pair of pants. Who knew?

I don’t change my pants as often as I should, because I keep my entire life in the pockets. Occasionally, my wife will beg me to let her wash my pants, so I’ll lay the pocket stuff out on my desk and wear my pajamas for two hours, and if someone comes to the door during this process, I’ll put on my robe. I used to use my Shabbos raincoat, but generally, when you answer the door in a coat, people feel awkward, like they caught you when you were about to leave. It’s even more awkward when you’re wearing the coat over your pajamas.

But occasionally, I’ll feel the need to own a second pair of pants, so I’ll go out and buy one, wear it, put it in the laundry, and forget about it. Then, a few months later, I’ll say to myself, “I should really buy a second pair of pants.”

Point is, there are several “second” pairs of pants in my closet. Which brings us to:

Pile 2 was clothes that technically fit me but that I don’t wear often, such as polo shirts and a baseball shirt that I got one summer when I was thinking of coaching Yiddle League. For example, I have some ruined pants and shirts in case I need to do some painting or repair work and I don’t want to get my regular clothes dirty. The way these clothes were chosen for this was that I actually wore them for one of those jobs, and I got them dirty. Or because they ended up in the laundry with a pen. Though I don’t know how that happened—I keep my pens in my pants pocket, and I never wash my pants.

But do you know how many painting pants I have? Five. When do I ever paint five days in a row?

Pile 3 was clothes that no longer fit me, but that I would hypothetically wear again if they did.

Some of these helpfully have size labels, while some have European labels with weird numbers such as “51.” 51 what? And some clothes have no labels, somehow. How did we buy these?

I’m keeping piles 1 and 2, and I’m also going to keep pile 3, because apparently the only thing holding me back from losing weight is the expense of buying a new wardrobe.

Pile 4 was clothes that may or may not fit me, but that I would never wear either way. I don’t even know where some of these clothes came from. Did they come with the house? That’s not possible; there were no closets when we got here.

Some of this pile consists of white shirts that I can only wear with a tie, because the entire front is brown. How did this happen? Did I slide into first base on my chest? On a Shabbos?

At the behest of my wife, we donated pile 4 to an organization that provides clothes for people to wear on job interviews. Thanks to me, someone out there will not get a job and wonder why.

Pile 5 was for clothes that no one would ever wear, such as any shirts with holes in the elbows. I’m not even sure how a shirt goes about getting holes in the elbows. It’s not like I spend all day elbowing people.

But it wasn’t so much a pile as it was a big contractor bag. I filled it up so it was taller and heavier than any one of my kids, and my wife convinced me to drive it to a clothes donation box at the gas station, because she’d heard that it doesn’t matter if the clothes are unwearable—they just sell it for the material.

Pile 6 was hangers.

Meanwhile, my wife didn’t toss anything, because if she’s to be believed, everything she has would go into piles 1, 2, or 3.

Once I saw how many clothes were actually mine, I think I had more clothes than my wife did, at least on this level of the closet. I don’t even want to mention that it was technically my side of the closet that collapsed. I guess my point is that I thought my wife would take over the closet, and in an effort to prevent this, I accidentally took it over. It turns out that in a marriage, we might start off doing something for a good reason, but the reason gets lost over time and we keep doing it anyway. It took our closet collapsing for me to see what was really in my closet. Maybe it’s time to look at things from my wife’s side.

My wife’s side collapsed that Friday.

Mordechai Schmutter is a weekly humor columnist for Hamodia and is the author of four books, published by Israel Book Shop. He also does freelance writing for hire. You can send any questions, comments, or ideas to MSchmutter@gmail.com.

Partial view of the packed crowd for a Chazaq lecture with R’ Dovid Orlofsky

R’ David Keehn from the QJCC, R’ Dovid Orlofsky, and R’ Yaniv Meirov from Chazaq

R’ Dovid Orlofsky speaking for Chazaq

By Chanita Teitz

How many of you have seen the new YO/OY sculpture under the Manhattan Bridge? When you look at the letters from the Brooklyn side, it says YO, and when looking from the Manhattan side, it says what we are all feeling about the terror attacks in Paris—OY!

While we feel saddened by these senseless murders, we can’t say that the world hasn’t been warned. PM Netanyahu has called the elephant in the room what it is, even as President Obama can’t seem to mouth the words radical Islam. Even the Democratic presidential candidates skirt the issue, saying we are only at war with jihadists, not with Muslims. Certainly there are peaceful Muslims, but we need better security and better ways of investigating people to find the ones who are terrorists. That’s why I don’t understand the logic of allowing thousands of Syrian refugees into the U.S. right now. There are other alternatives that can help them without jeopardizing the safety of Americans.

It also angers me that Israel lives with these attacks on a daily basis but the world doesn’t care. The French president declares the attack an act of war and immediately starts bombing terrorist targets, with nobody criticizing his extreme use of force as excessive. The president calls the Paris attacks just a setback in the war on terror. Blame and condemnations have already come forth against Israel, in particular by the Swedish foreign minister, who blames Israeli recalcitrance in giving back land to the Arabs and ending the occupation as the cause of the terror act in Paris. Is it possible that anyone doesn’t see the truth that it’s not about Israel, land, oppression, or occupation?

France, along with other EU countries, approved the labeling of Israeli products from Yehuda and Shomron just last week. I wonder: If France wants intelligence information from Israel to help stop terrorist activity in France, won’t they ask for it? Israel’s knowhow is good when other countries need it. I don’t think Israel should turn their back on giving help where needed, but there should be a price.

My husband and I watched a good video on Arutz Sheva of Mr. Joel Rosenberg speaking in Yerushalayim at the recent International Leaders Summit, explaining clearly what the Islamic ideology is. “Apocalyptic Islam is now the biggest threat. This is the Iranian leadership, this is ISIS.” He says that hyper-messianic ideology is what is fueling radical Islamic terror.

“Apocalyptic Islam is motivated by the idea that the end of days has come, that the Mahdi [Muslim messiah—ed.] is coming at any moment to establish a global Islamic kingdom or caliphate, and that the way to hasten his coming is to annihilate two countries: Israel, the ‘Little Satan,’ and America, the ‘Big Satan.’”

In order to win this war, we have to name who and what we are fighting against, and understand the mentality of our enemies.

Past Events

Hachnassas Kallah Tea by Aviva Stern. Raindrops pounding the pavement did little to deter the women of the Queens community who came out in droves to attend the Erna Lindenfeld Hachnassas Kallah Tea on Tuesday evening, November 10.

The magnificent event was held at the Electchester Electrical Building. In the ballroom, each table was graced by a beautiful centerpiece, surrounded by eye-catching floral paper goods. In addition to the beautiful salads and desserts, the exceptional waitresses from Shevach High School served tea, coffee, and hot soup prepared by Nechama Biderman, tea coordinator. What a treat on a rainy evening!

The program commenced with a group recital of a perek of Tehillim, followed by remarks from Mrs. Tova Well and Mrs. Shifra Witty, president of the organization. Mrs. Witty mentioned that Kristallnacht had taken place 77 years ago. And look at where the Jewish people stand now—immersed in chesed. She mentioned that the fund had distributed $100,000 in the past year alone. Mrs. Devora Hoch spoke eloquently about her grandmother, Mrs. Julia Shafran, for whom the evening was dedicated, as a woman who truly lived her life with the certainty that all comes from Hashem and all that happens is for the best. Mr. Max Lindenfeld was the last of the speakers, and spoke of the pride his family takes in this worthwhile cause.

The Erna Lindenfeld Hachnassas Kallah Fund is an organization composed of a group of volunteers who tirelessly band together to distribute funds to needy brides in the community, as well as in EretzYisrael. Each month, the board convenes to discuss the 50–80 new cases. The board, consisting of a diversified group of women from the various local neighborhoods, works in unison to facilitate the goals of this worthy endeavor. The 500 plus women in attendance benefited from the highly dedicated group of volunteers who believe in going all out for the sake of this mitzvah.

The highlight of the evening was the musical comedy, “So We’re Getting Married,” written by Zisi Naimark, and performed by women of the community. Peppered with hilarious “commercials” and “trailers,” the Shidduch Channel Live entertained the audience. One member of the audience said, “It was hysterical, especially the costumes!” Even the youngest attendees laughed along with the Bubbies in the audience.

The Queens community looks forward to the next annual tea in November 2016—hopefully rain not included! Donations can be sent to Roz Weinstein, 137-37 71st Avenue, Flushing, NY 11367.

Special Chazaq Event with Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky. R’ Dovid Orlofsky, a well-known and popular speaker, made aliyah with his family in 1988, and served as the mashgiachruchani in Yeshiva Ohr David for five years. He has taught in the Discovery Seminar, Aish Hatorah Fellowships, and Yeshiva Ohr Somayach, and is currently on the staff of Darchei Binah Seminary and Neve Yerushalayim College for women, as well as other yeshivot and seminaries. R’ Orlofsky is a popular international lecturer where his combination of humor, novel insights, and inspiration touch the lives of thousands. Listen to his recorded shiurim distributed by the Moshe Yehuda Institute.

On Sunday night, November 15, hundreds of men and women came to the Beth Gavriel Community Center for a special lecture with R’ Dovid Orlofsky. The event was presented by the prominent Chazaq organization in conjunction with the Queens Jewish Community Council. Infusing his lecture with humor, R’ Orlofsky spoke about the “Power of Kindness.” The event had a profound impact on all those who attended.

For more information about upcoming events and programs, please call 718-285-9132 or visit www.CHAZAQ.org.

Upcoming Events

Mesivta Yesodei Yeshurun Open House. Sunday, November 22, 2:30–4:30 p.m. 141-51 71 Avenue in Flushing. Call 718-261-4738 for an application packet.

Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim’s 82nd anniversary dinner and Chag Ha’semichah.November 22 at Terrace on the Park, honoring Harav Noach Isaac Oelbaum, shlita; Mr. and Mrs. Yitzchak Gelb; Rabbi and Mrs. Baruch Lovett; Mr. and Mrs. Leon Stern; and 36 new musmachim.

The Queens Jewish Center 1st Annual Yahrzeit Lecture Series in memory of Rav Joseph Grunblatt, zt’l, on Shabbos, December 4-5. A scholar-in-residence program will feature noted speaker Rabbi Dr. Jacob J. Schacter, formerly rabbi of The Jewish Center, senior scholar, YU Center for the Jewish Future, and professor of Jewish History and Jewish Thought.

Rabbi Dr. Schacter will speak at a catered Friday-night dinner about “Menorah: From the Beit HaMikdash to the State of Israel.” He will give the Shabbos-morning derashah—“The Contemporary Significance of the State of Israel: Reshit Tzemichat Geulateinu?”—and speak at a special seudahshlishis (following 3:30 p.m. Minchah) on the topic of “To Be an ErevShabbos Jew: Act and Emotion in Judaism.”

Location: 66-05 108th Street in Forest Hills. Reservations for the Friday-night dinner are $30 for members/$35 for nonmembers/half price for children under 12. RSVP deadline Monday, November 23. To reserve, call the office at 718-459-8432 or visit www.myqjc.org/event/
Grunblatt-SIR.html.

Chanita Teitz is a real-estate broker at Astor Brokerage in Kew Gardens Hills, serving the entire Queens vicinity. For all your real-estate needs, call her at 718-263-4500 or e-mail chanita@astorbrokerage.com.

From The Other Side Of The Bench

By David J. Seidemann, Esq.

It’s that time of year again: the Thanksgiving, pre-Chanukah, chilly, should-I-wear-a-sweater-or-coat time of year. When Fridays are so short that it doesn’t pay to fight the traffic to go to work, Friday nights are so long, and Shabbos afternoons are so short you can’t even nap—it’s that time of year. It’s the I-can’t-even-have-milk-in-my-coffee-at-shalosh-seudos-but-I-can-catch-the-last-quarter-of-college-football-on-ABC time of year.

It was about this time every year as kids that my seven siblings and I would begin to lobby our parents for Chanukah gifts. It was at this time of year that we would shake out our piggybanks to see what we could scrape together in order to buy our parents a Chanukah gift. Whoever said it is better to give than to receive never received gifts from our parents and never was on the receiving end of some of the ridiculous gifts I had given my parents over the years.

Sometimes there just weren’t enough pennies in my piggybank to purchase gifts for my parents. But my desire to give was still there, so I would recycle gifts. I confess to rummaging through the family linen closet and rewrapping linen given in years past. I further confess to giving my mother the same recipe book on at least three occasions. The food stains contained throughout the cookbook were quite damning. I insisted, however, that it was the author’s inclusion of actual ingredients that set this particular cookbook apart from all others. Somehow I doubt my mother believed me, but she accepted it with a smile—on multiple occasions.

We each lit our own menorahs, except my mother, who fulfilled her obligation through my father’s lighting. We would then congregate outside and gaze into our dining-room window at the rows of candles—81 candles on the final night. And as we got older and had children of our own, the number of candles illuminating the dark cold nights of Columbus, Ohio, swelled to even more.

We would sing Maoz Tzur with my grandfather’s version of the last verse, which was different than that which appears in almost every Siddur in print today. Why? Tradition, tradition, tradition, tradition. (Hum along if you so desire—Zero Mostel would be proud.)

To the living-room couch we would go, all eight of us squeezing onto a couch made for four. (It’s a good thing Seidemanns are slight of build.) There we would sit while our father retrieved the bags and bags of gifts from his room. None of the gifts were too expensive, so as to not spoil us, but each gift was carefully selected to tickle the fancy of its intended recipient. No two gifts were the same. The gifts were concealed on the bottom of my father’s closet and, yes, I further confess to sneaking a peek.

I don’t remember a warm Chanukah in Columbus. It was always freezing, often with a blanket of snow already adorning the front lawn. After latkes (no one made them better than my mom) and hot chocolate topped with marshmallows, we plopped ourselves on the living-room floor and played dreidel till one of us was caught cheating. I hope my wife and I are creating the same type of memories for our children that my parents created for me. As cold as it was outside—that’s how warm it was inside. Chanukah was not just a seasonal observance. I knew, and all of my brothers and sisters knew, that my parents fought the same fight the Maccabees fought in providing my siblings and me with a Jewish education and a Jewish home life in a challenging environment.

• • •

You are never too old to receive gifts, and this year’s Chanukah gift came early—last Sunday, to be exact.

About a year and half after my mother passed away (21 years ago), my father remarried. He lives with his wife in New Jersey. Last Sunday, all eight of his children, together with our spouses, convened in Highland Park, New Jersey, at my younger sister’s house, to celebrate a milestone birthday for my father.

We thought it would be too overwhelming to have all of my dad’s grandchildren and his great-grandchildren attend, and we wanted that one-on-one time with my dad that is difficult to achieve when there are kids flying all over the place, clamoring for attention. And we had that one-on-one time—my dad, his wife Judi, and the clan of eight and our spouses. Though it was a Sunday afternoon, in certain respects it felt like one of those long Friday evenings when we would sit around the table basking in Shabbos candles (rather than birthday candles). Naturally we spent a few minutes discussing our children and the grandchildren, but the majority of the time was spent sharing stories from yesteryear—laughing at stories that we laughed at years ago, and laughing now at stories that we might have cried about or fought about years ago.

And yes, one of my siblings took the opportunity to remind one and all of the re-gifted linens and the thrice-gifted cookbooks. I’m assuming she is just jealous that she didn’t think of the idea first.

For those of you blessed to have a living parent or both parents, or perhaps grandparents, the best gift you can give yourself is time with them. It truly is better to give than to receive.

David Seidemann is a partner with the law firm of Seidemann and Mermelstein and serves as a professor of business law at Touro College. He can be reached at 718-692-1013 or ds@lawofficesm.com.

Halachic Musings

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman

They live among us and are relatively invisible. They have no one to take their children to shul. They have no one to take their sons to father-and-son learning programs. Rarely do they get a Shabbos-meal invitation. Their social lives are awkward at best.

They bear an almost unbearable burden. Most are financially insecure and have their hands full just making it through the week. Often they experience such legal strain and financial stress that the strongest among us would buckle under the pressure.

Who are they? They are the divorced women who live in our communities—a group whose numbers are growing dramatically.

The Halachah

What does halachah say about these women and their plight? The pesukim in the Torah tell us about orphans, widows, and converts. But what about the growing number of divorcees?

A few years ago, one such woman approached a number of gedolim in EretzYisrael about the plight of divorcees and obtained a remarkable letter. Because there was a slight factual miscommunication in the recipient of the letter, it was never published—until now. The three gedolim? Rav Aaron Leib Shteinman, shlita, Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita, and, l’havdil bein chaim l’chaim, Rav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz, zt’l. The letter is translated below:

To the Honorable Organization,

We have heard of the remarkable acts of chesed that you do with widows, rachmanal’tzlan, in a most befitting manner. Now you approach with a question in regard to divorced women:

Do they have a similar halachic status in regard to tzedakah and in the manner in which to deal with them on an equal basis?

Our opinion is that the circumstances and situations are equal in their importance.

May the Holy One Blessed Be He enable you to continue in your blessed handiwork.

One who signs with wishes of blessing,

[Rav] Michel Yehudah Lefkowitz, Bnei Brak 5769 [zt’l]

We too join with what has been mentioned above,

[Rav] A.L. Shteinman

[Rav] Chaim Kanievsky

A Famous Pasuk Whose Meaning Few Understand

There is a pretty famous verse in the Torah whose true meaning has eluded the vast majority of people—zeh keili v’anveihu. Most people only understand it to mean that when it comes to items involving a mitzvah, we should spend to buy the fancier and better one.

We see from the Gemara (Shabbos 133b) an entirely different explanation of the verse. Rav Yitzchok Isaac Sher, zt’l, explains (Leket Sichos Mussar p. 76) that the pasuk of “zeh keili v’anveihu” teaches us the obligation of feeling and understanding that the performance of chesed brings us closer to Hashem.

This is on account of the Gemara’s understanding of the word “anveihu” to mean “Ani v’Hu—I and Him.” The meaning of this pasuk is therefore, “This is my G-d, and I shall bind myself to Him. I know that I can accomplish this binding through the notion of performing acts of chesed.” The consequences of this particular pasuk are an obligation of thought: It is something that we must think—chesed binds us to Hashem—Ani V’Hu.

The existence of this group of people, then, provides us with an opportunity similar to that of a shul. What is one of the main purposes of davening? It is to form a close bond with Hashem. Chesed does the same thing, and according to this Gemara it is a halachic obligation of thought to realize this.

Make Them Feel As
A Person, Not A Chesed

One important point that we must have in mind is that it is the greatest chesed for chesed not to be done as if it is a chesed. All people have what to contribute, in conversation and in social activity. Our obligation is to realize that everyone is created b’Tzelem Elokim, in the image of Hashem, and that there is depth to who they are as people. Their social contribution, their thoughts, and their opinions matter, and they are enjoyable company.

There was a famous bakery owner in Williamsburg, Mr. Gelb, who not only gave needy people challah and cake for Shabbos and yomtov, but also gave them change so that their self-esteem would remain intact. An even higher level that can sometimes be achieved is to actually render any assistance in such a manner that even we do not detect or perceive it as chesed per se.

Practical Steps

So, practically, what does this mean? We can help in two ways. Baruch Hashem one of our askanim, Rabbi Dovid Greenblatt, has created an excellent organization called “Sister to Sister.” This organization is a remarkable way to lend assistance to this invisible group.

A second way, however, is to seek out members of this invisible group and actively help them. Some of these divorcees have an ex who baruchHashem cares enough about his children to provide them with even more than the court-mandated child support. Others often get a pittance. And some get nothing at all.

We must also not forget that divorced men also need to be welcomed into our homes and need emotional support and assistance. Often men are perceived as the evil ones when they, too, have suffered enormously. Whatever happened in a marriage is not our concern. Ahavas Yisrael and chesed must be applied to all parties—these mitzvos are gender-neutral.

Tzniyus

When helping them, it should be done in the most tzniyus manner possible, and with the contributions of both the husband and wife. It should also be done in a manner where they do not feel that you are doing it as a chesed. There are many ways to do this.

• Learn with their child

• Notice their kids in shul

• Offer to take the children along with yours on an outing

• Help them keep up with homework

• Shabbos invitations

• Extend invitations earlier rather than later

• Occasional financial help or a gift

• Offer to babysit once a month

• Ask if they need anything at Costco

• Offer to build them a sukkah—or to use yours

• Ask in general, “Is there anything specific I can do for you?”

• Just call to say hello

• Bring them flowers for Shabbos

• Get to know their favorite food items and that of their children

• Suggest shidduchim when possible and appropriate

• Suggest shidduchim for their children

• Help them deal with fixing the house

• Help them deal with fixing their car

• Help them deal with the IRS

• Help them in general negotiations

• Help them ensure that their kids have friends

• Sheitels—look out for a new one for them.

• Avoid avoiding them

• Don’t be judgmental

• Don’t stigmatize

• Don’t say things in a pitying way

• Be sensitive to call them back

• Avoid saying insensitive things or asking insensitive questions

Loving Chesed

The pasuk in Michah (6:8) states, “What does Hashem require of you? Merely to do justice and love chesed.” The idea is that we must foster and develop a love of chesed. Rav Sher explains that there are three elements to this love:

1. To love doing acts of chesed ourselves.

2. To love and appreciate a situation where chesed is being performed by others.

3. To love the existence of opportunities for chesed in the world.

The Chofetz Chaim writes (Ahavas Chessed 2:1) that not only must one love chesed, but one must stick to this character trait and always go beyond the measure of what is required. He gives the analogy of a parent. A loving parent gives more food and clothing than the child requires; we must do likewise in sticking to the middah of chesed.

Conclusion

The dramatic rise in divorces provides us all with an unprecedented opportunity for chesed. This chesed should be performed with the utmost consideration and thought for their self-esteem and self-perception. They are our brothers and sisters, and should be treated as such. v

The author can be reached at Yairhoffman2@gmail.com.

L-R: Mindy and Michael Harris, Larry and Esta Gordon, Alex and Susan Edelman,
and Miriam and Chaim Adler at the Sheraton Parsippany for the Arad Shabbos

L-R: Dr. Chaim Adler, Rabbi Yisroel Meir Lau, Alex Edelman, and Larry Gordon
at the Arad Shabbos in Parsippany, NJ

Menachem and Gila Marx and family at the Shabbos in support of Arad

Moshe Holtzberg with Rabbi Moshe Kotlarsky

Rabbi Shloime Chein, keynote speaker at the Kinnus Shluchim

By Larry Gordon

Images of greatness and heroes were presented, and memories that will last a long time were created last weekend. Over Shabbos, we learned about and celebrated the growth and development of the desert city of Arad in Israel. We knew it was there—having gone by car to the Dead Sea a number of times and passing the road signs that lead to Arad. But until last week, who really knew what was taking place there? That is where Shabbat Arad comes into the picture. We went for Shabbos with friends to find out what was going on there, and now we know it well.

The Shabbos weekend was initially billed as Shabbat with the Stars, as it featured quite an array of Jewish community luminaries. The headliners, so to speak, were Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv and former Ashkenazic Chief Rabbi of Israel Yisrael Meir Lau; Chazzan Itcha Meir Helfgot, and singing sensation and Carlebach-song stylist Yehuda Green. To bring us up to speed politically, we heard from Malcolm Hoenlein of the Conference of Presidents; Howard Friedman, a former president of AIPAC; and Hank Sheinkopf, the well-known national political consultant.

So this, in brief, is what I learned about Arad. It is a city adapted decades ago by Gerrer chassidim. The community continues to enjoy exponential growth, as living in or buying apartments or homes in and around Jerusalem for young families is prohibitively expensive. Arad is off the beaten path; it is secluded and scenic. As it is near the Dead Sea, the weather is mostly warm and excellent for much of the year.

The city is proud of its so-called mixed population, with Russian and Ethiopian immigrant families interfacing, working, and living side by side with the chassidic community. The chassidic community is leading the charge to build up Arad and make it attractive and cosmopolitan so that young families from other parts of the country will take note.

Once that Shabbos was over, the mindset shifted focus to gear up for the annual KinusHashluchim—the convention of Chabad emissaries from around the world who converge on the Crown Heights community in Brooklyn once a year to reengage with one another, share trade secrets, and interface with Chabad leadership so as to reinvigorate their individual shlichus missions.

At some point, whether through our travels, through family, or perhaps friends, all of us have interfaced with Chabad emissaries around the world. Chabad is often criticized but simultaneously complimented and respected. It’s an odd combination, but that is just the way it is.

When people without any Chabad connection are out there traveling on the road, in a foreign city on business or vacation, Chabad is frequently the lifeline. For me, the Chabad convention was an opportunity to sit for a few minutes with family members who have committed themselves to a shlichus lifestyle, in some cases out in the hinterlands.

Two young men I met are children of first cousins. One is Chaim Shaul Bruk from Bozeman, Montana, whom I have written about in the past, and the other is Michoel Goldman who is in Kauai, Hawaii. I was always enamored by the concept of shlichus and when given the opportunity, I talk about these and other families with great pride and admiration.

In Chaim Shaul’s case, he is a Brooklyn boy, born and raised. Once you become a teenager in Chabad, it is not unusual to visit far-flung locations around the globe to assist other emissaries during holidays or other high seasons.

You may have seen the story online on Sunday about the El Al jet flying from Tel Aviv to Los Angeles. Because of engine trouble, the plane made an unscheduled stop in Billings, Montana, about 150 miles from Bozeman. According to the story, a rabbi affiliated with El Al called Rabbi Bruk in Montana to alert him to the fact that 280 El Al passengers would be landing in Billings.

Another plane and crew was being sent from New York to pick up the group and take them the rest of the way to LA. But getting this going, he was told, would take most of the day, and indeed it was ten hours before the relief jet arrived in Billings.

Chaim Shaul was on his way to a conference in Minnesota. That left his wife Chavie and her three small children to load up their car with foodstuffs they had received a few days prior from New York, and make the 150-mile drive to the airport in Billings to bring kosher food to the stranded passengers. Just one additional aspect of what it means to be a shliach in what we would commonly refer to as the middle of nowhere.

In Michoel Goldman’s case, his parents were sent by the Rebbe decades ago to Johannesburg, South Africa. So being out of town, even in an exotic locale like Kauai, is probably not that unusual for him.

So as you can see, the Jewish people, though small in numbers, are spread out far and wide. We are not scattered unwillingly and desperately like we once were; we are just out there, performing with penetrating impact and inordinate influence.

While it’s not the same exact thing that is taking place in Arad, there is the matter of Torah Jews extending their influence and making all the corners of the world where Jews are found into a better and more appropriate place for G-dliness and a Torah-oriented lifestyle.

The Arad Shabbos in Parsippany, New Jersey paid tribute to some extraordinary philanthropists who have adopted the Arad project because of its innovativeness and creativity. Leo Noe of London spoke passionately and glowingly about his commitment to the continued development of Arad.

He says he was initially drawn to the project because it built up an important part of the Negev that, plainly stated, needs Jews to move there. Without this development, the risk continues to grow that makes cities like Arad vulnerable to losing its Jewish character.

The driving force on the ground in Arad is Rabbi Avraham Kaminer. He is a Gerrer chassid who has lived and breathed Arad for decades. Several of the projects that have come into existence under his direction over the years includes the Schaller Medical Center, a medical triage facility; Bnei Akiva Ulpena, a girls dormitory high school hosting girls from around Israel; Ohel Noe Elementary Schools, providing schooling for children of diverse background, in addition to several other ambitious projects.

Back here in Brooklyn on the pier, the theme of the KinusHashluchim was about overcoming obstacles, diversity, and challenges. The idea was communicated with emotion and sensitivity by Rabbi Shloime Chein, the shliach at the University of California at Santa Cruz. A video presentation also depicted the experiences and doubts that four shluchim had over the years about the effectiveness or success of their individual missions in different locations around the world.

In each instance, at some point the shliach described what he believed were his weaknesses and failures, suggesting that the Rebbe give them permission to close up shop and leave their posts. The Rebbe’s response was to challenge them and ask why they do not ask for a berachah so they could overcome the difficulties or obstacles they were encountering. In each case cited, they did that, and now all these years later they are each able to look back at remarkable success.

Whether it’s in Arad or in Chabad, these appointed tasks are not jobs, careers, or vocations. They are blazing new trails and redefining the meaning of a Jew in the modern world. The lessons learned for those observing the successes of these individuals and groups is that there are no limitations to an individual’s will; and the vastness of the world seems manageable—even small—when the Divine is on your side.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

Non-Profit Profiteering

Dear Editor,

I read with interest Rabbi Yair Hoffman’s halachic analysis of the investors who purchased a bank note of a yeshiva and made a profit by selling the note back to the yeshiva (“Halachic Musings: Profiting from Loss,” November 13). I submit that he left out one material fact from the case: Did the yeshiva buy back the note from the investors for less than $9.65M? If so, then we have the halachic concept of “zeh neheneh v’zeh lo chaseir.” (One gains and the other does not lose). The yeshiva benefited without doing anything. Why shouldn’t the investors make a profit? It is done all the time.

I recall a situation years ago when a client came to me and wanted me to represent him in a prospective buyout with a partner. His partner had offered him $500,000 for his share of a business and he thought that the offer was too low. He retained us to negotiate a higher offer and our fee was to be one-third of whatever sum we could obtain in excess of $500,000. We got the buyer to raise his offer to $800,000 and got a $100,000 fee. Did we do anything wrong? Of course not. Why shouldn’t these investors who negotiated with the bank and bought the note be compensated for their work?

Sure, it would be nice if they donated all of their profit to the yeshiva, but to accuse them of violating prohibitions and being “immoral” is ridiculous. What if the debtor were not a yeshiva but a private person or commercial corporation? Would the ruling be the same? If so, then you have just put a lot of investors out of business. If not, then be honest and say that a yeshiva or other religious institution has special status in halachah. But don’t malign and seek to embarrass people for making a buck and doing chesed at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive.

Sol Liss

West Hempstead

Making A Buck

Dear Editor,

As an avid reader of the 5TJT, I have been getting less amused with Rabbi Hoffman’s halachah articles as time goes on. The main issue I have is your obsession of attacking working people that are trying to make a profit. Whether you’re getting ripped off by $0.30 from some candy store, or an issue you found with orange juice in regard to kashrus, you have appointed yourself defender of the Jewish consumer. In your latest article, you upped the ante by calling out investors for profiting off the misfortunes of others and made it clear that these people deserve nothing but our contempt.

Although I find your articles enlightening and appreciate the job you have appointed for yourself as the Weights and Measurements Department of Central Avenue, I find you to be disingenuous when it comes to calling out the wrongs of the community. I understand that investors making money off the misery of others leaves a bad taste in your mouth and some would even classify it as disgusting. What I don’t understand is how you sit back week after week and watch nonprofit organizations do the same thing and remain silent. It seems to me that if someone is running a business, they are open for criticism of wrongdoings, but if someone has 501(c)(3) status and a beard, you leave them alone.

When seven children die in a fire in Brooklyn and organizations use it as an opportunity to promote themselves by taking out ads for the next few weeks in local papers bragging about how they provided counseling to the classmates of the victims, or when yeshivos squeeze hardworking families for tuition of $10,000 a kid so they can pay over $100,000 to their rebbeim. Are they not profiting off the misery of others? Where were you a couple of weeks ago when a nonprofit took out an ad claiming to sponsor a Tehillim event for the situation in Israel? Did you not wonder then what it even means to “sponsor” a Tehillim gathering?

An organization that is supposed to service kids with cancer can pay their CEO upwards of $250,000. And you are silent. An organization that is supposed to service people with developmental disabilities and mental-health problems can pay their CEO upwards of $300,000. And you are silent. Whether they are supposed to help teens at risk or help people after Sandy when they get paid over $150,000 and use the misfortunes of others to promote themselves and raise more money, your silence is deafening. But when investors make a profit off the misfortunes of a yeshiva, then you choose to speak up. And as I am sure you know, the taxes that these organizations file are public record; you could easily have looked it up. It seems that it is not only accepted, but encouraged for nonprofits to look at dead Jews in Israel or another teen death from an overdose and say, “Hey, what a great opportunity to promote my organization.” And yet you are silent.

And we haven’t even discussed your silence when organizations make outrageous claims on the services they provide with no oversight. It’s funny how when a business says something is kosher, we still force them to pay for a supervising agency to confirm the validity of the claim for fear that the owner cannot be trusted due to the fact that money corrupts. However, CEOs of nonprofits are never questioned about the claims that they provided mental-health services to 100,000 people a year, or field 5,000 calls a day of people in need, or saved the lives of 20,000 teens at risk this year alone, or how they were mekarev 4,000 Russian Jews this month. Where are you to go over their records to validate these claims just as intensely as if they are a candy store on Central Avenue ripping people off $0.30 at a time? Aren’t they both lying and cheating the Jewish community?

In conclusion, I want to be clear about something. As a free-market capitalist, I believe that if a school wants to pay their rebbeim a huge salary at the expense of struggling families, they can. And if a charity wants to pay their CEO an insane amount of money, they can as well (although I would not personally donate a cent). In a similar vein, I find nothing wrong with investors making a profit at the expense of a yeshiva as long as their actions are legal. What I do take issue with is your double standards when it comes to a corporation versus a nonprofit organization.

Name Withheld

Modest Marketing

Dear Editor,

While I enjoy reading your paper on a weekly basis, I couldn’t help being troubled by the lack of editorial discretion being exercised by your paper when deciding whether to accept certain advertisements for print. While you note in your paper that “pictures may be modified . . . to conform to standards of modesty and dress,” the reality appears to be a lack of care to your reading audience, including children. While the ad for the furrier printed this week was most appalling, the most ironic part of this week’s edition was the placement of an advertisement for the Pittsburgher Rebbe’s forthcoming visit to our area directly across from an advertisement that featured an immodestly dressed woman. While we may not be living in Bnei Brak, our children’s eyes shouldn’t have to become desensitized due to an editorial decision to accept any ad for print in a family newspaper. While I’m not a rav and will defer to Rabbi Hoffman’s halachic analysis that thankfully graces your paper, I’m sure he’d agree that your editorial rights to reject certain questionable advertisements should be utilized more often. I hope this letter encourages further discussion regarding tzniyus and sensitivities and may we all be zocheh to grow in this area and bring Mashiach speedily in our days.

Yossi S.

Woodmere

Striking With
An Iron Hand

Dear Editor,

Reading Congressman Doug Lamborn’s comments as you presented them, struck me with a different interpretation than you and Mr. Friedlander. My take is: The Iron Dome system is great in that it saves many Israeli lives. At the same time, it allows Israel time to respond; and yet, maybe Israel should be quicker to respond and more forceful in its response, than it’s been (despite having extra time afforded by Iron Dome). In other words, hit back fast and with full force.

Rifka Saltz, LMSW

Viva La France! Am Yisrael Chai!

Dear Editor,

For decades, the U.S. State Department has repeatedly berated tiny Israel in its existential struggle against murderous terrorists. Now in the wake of the horrible terrorist attacks in Paris, will the State Department remain consistent in its policies, and demand that France exhibit restraint and not use disproportionate force against ISIL militants?

Moreover, will the U.S. State Department demand that France make a gesture for peace by freezing all building in disputed areas?

Finally, will the State Department now demand the imposition of a two-state solution, one for the French and one for the Muslims, with Paris the joint capital of both states? If not, its immoral double standard toward Israel will be undeniable and unsustainable!

Chaim ben Zvi

Queens

By Larry Gordon

Shootings in Judea and Samaria. Stone-throwing. Running people down with cars. Knife attacks in Jerusalem. Murder.

Silence.

But then on Friday night, terrorists struck in all their deviant glory in Paris. On Monday morning, a news anchor said, “We are living in perilous times.” And we certainly are.

But that is because leaders like Barack Obama are more concerned with protecting the rights and freedoms of would-be terrorists than everyday innocent citizens. And that unfortunate approach to current conditions is just as twisted and just as deviant.

We all know the details of the tragic mayhem and perpetration of death that radical Islamic terrorists wreaked on Friday night. The loss of so many young and innocent lives is impossible to grasp. We also now know the name of 23-year-old Nohemi Gonzalez who was cut down by Islamic terrorists while sipping coffee with friends from the university where she was studying for the year. What an awful and shocking tragedy.

But the question needs to be posed. Does anyone out there in the world beyond our few shtetlach know what happened to Yakov Litman, 37, and his son Netanel, 18, just a few hours before the Paris attacks?

Rabbi Litman was traveling from Kiryat Arba in Hebron to spend Shabbos with his daughter’s future in-laws a few days before his eldest daughter’s wedding. He and his son, Netanel, were shot, cut down, and murdered about an hour prior to Shabbos by a 26-year-old terrorist from Hebron.

There was no comment about last week’s murders anywhere else. It came and went, almost routinely and perfunctorily. After all, he was a “settler” driving through “occupied territory,” so the rationalization goes, at least there was a reason that they were killed.

But in France? Why? And how could this be?

Over last weekend, many in the media were contorting themselves disjointedly, trying to lay responsibility for the Paris attack if not on Israel, because of the great distance to Jerusalem, then certainly at the feet of Jews.

Thankfully the Swedish foreign minister, Margot Wallstrom, quickly obliged the desperate desire to wrangle Israel and Jews into the Parisian terror equation. She said that in her estimation the terror attack in Paris was a result of frustration on the part of young Palestinians who have despaired over the future.

Ambassador Dore Gold, the director of the Israel Foreign Ministry, summoned the Swedish ambassador to Israel to admonish him over Ms. Wallstrom’s damaging and counterproductive remarks, as well as Sweden’s leading role in the effort to label products produced in Judea and Samaria as a way of facilitating a European boycott of Israel and an attempt to isolate the Jewish state in the world community.

The hostility toward Israel emanating from segments of Europe is both vicious and determined. Ambassador Gold told the Swedish representative that their boycott efforts will in all likelihood impact mostly on the jobs of Palestinians in the territories than on anyone else. For Europe, the Palestinians are just collateral damage. Besides, if the Palestinian job market suffers as a result of the boycott of Israeli products, one can always blame the occupation.

Even more puzzling was the response of the United States. When 20-year-old Eli Borochov of Cedarhurst was shot in the leg two weeks ago in Hebron, the U.S. Consulate in Israel did not return calls and looked askance at the shooting of the New York native. After all, the attitude seems to be, he brought the shooting on himself by simply being in Hebron. Fortunately, he was not badly hurt. If his injuries were bad or if even something worse would have occurred, the American response would have most likely been the same.

Eitam and Na’ama Henkin, who were murdered in front of their four children a few weeks ago, were American citizens. The family was upended and destroyed. They were no different than those 80,000 people in the French soccer stadium or the concertgoers in the Bataclan concert hall in Paris last Friday. But somehow there was almost no international outrage over the murder of a mom and dad. Was it because they were driving on a road near a Palestinian village? Does that justify their murder to the world community? Sadly, it seems so.

For almost 24 hours, the news media and some diplomats were emotionally hyperventilating, trying to grasp the motivation of eight young terrorists for murdering so many French citizens in cold blood. But then someone discovered that the Bataclan was once-upon-a-time owned by Jews, and that over the last few years the theater hosted several benefit events for an Israel police organization. Following this discovery, the plot thickened with the news that the rock group that was performing during the attack—The Eagles of Metal Death—performed in Israel in July. A virtual terrorist trifecta.

It seems that the international community cannot imagine a terror assault anywhere that does not have a Jewish/Israel hook or angle. Somehow, somewhere, if there is a terrorist attack, a line needs to be drawn in the direction of Jews and Israel.

Which brings us to why there is so much indignation about the attack in Paris, while at the same time there is tolerance for acts of terror directed at Jews and Israel. And that consideration comes mostly in the form of silence by U.S. officials as if Israel, by virtue of her existence, is being provocative and asking for trouble.

That is part of the confusion about the attacks in Paris that killed 130 people and injured over 400—90 of whom are still in critical condition in French hospitals. Since it is accepted at the UN that Islamic radicals are provoked or attacking as a result of an occupation or other types of oppression, the question is, what did the French do to warrant that kind of slaughter of its citizens?

Then there was the aerial onslaught by the French on ISIS positions in Syria following Friday’s massacre. Where were the calls by the UN for the French to demonstrate restraint and not to respond to the attacks disproportionately? There weren’t any.

This idea of making allowances and extending legitimate considerations to terrorism has opened a Pandora’s Box that cannot be closed. If the UN and the world extended an understanding to merchants of terror in and around Israel, then why not facilitate whatever the terrorist gripes might be anywhere else in the world? After all, whether they are real or imagined, grievances need to be addressed.

Then there is our sad excuse for Secretary of State, John Kerry. Like the president, the not-so-secret information is that as scurrilous and repugnant as assigning credible motivation for terror is, that is precisely what both President Obama and Secretary Kerry have done this week. Kerry said the other day, referencing last January’s attack on the Charlie Hebdo magazine in Paris, that there was a “legitimacy” and “rationale” to those murders, while last week’s murders in the French capital were “totally indiscriminate.”

It is important to point out that Kerry did say that our thoughts and prayers are with the French people and that we stand “shoulder to shoulder” with France.  Both empty and essentially meaningless sentiments.

And this is precisely why there is an upsurge in terror and the attitude that allows ISIS, al-Qaeda, Hamas, Fatah, and Hezbollah to flourish. If you’ve followed John Kerry carefully, then you can easily conclude that while he was saying the words Charlie Hebdo, he was thinking Israel. That is why there is no outrage when innocent Israelis are knifed in the streets or shot while driving with their families.

It is as appalling as it is irresponsible.

The president will be in Paris in a few weeks for a climate-change conference. He said this week that despite the current turmoil in France, climate change is too important an issue to neglect. Bill O’Reilly on Fox News says that Mr. Obama is delusional and that can explain a lot. Is it possible that this is the reason he doesn’t want to put American “boots on the ground” in Syria at this point? The weather in Syria at this time of year is not that great.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

By Elke Probkevitz

The typical frum woman is no stranger to hosting and preparing holiday meals. So when Thanksgiving comes around, you can apply your balabusta skills honed during all those yom tov meals. Thanksgiving, like any other holiday, is about bringing loved ones together, enjoying their company, and giving thanks. To stay focused on enjoying those moments and not get lost in the seemingly overwhelming tasks ahead, follow a game plan and stay organized. You’ll be nibbling on turkey with your loved ones in no time.

Take count. Make sure you know exactly how many guests you plan to host. Make an invitation list and invite guests a couple of weeks in advance. That way you will give them time to confirm whether they can make it or not and finalize the headcount before you figure out your place settings and serving amounts.

1. The great thing about making large parties is that everybody chips in and brings a dish. Find out what each person wants to make, and make a list to ensure you do not have three kinds of mashed potatoes and no dessert or salad. If you know someone has a knack for making a special dish, request that they bring it, letting them know how much you enjoy it. They will be flattered and your meal will be sure to please. The hostess should be in charge of the turkeys and accompaniments such as gravy and cranberry sauce. You can make hors d’oeuvres for your guests to have as they walk in and fill in a dish that’s missing from the menu of contributions.

Don’t overcomplicate. Large gatherings are not the time to patchke with crazy 10-step recipes. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself when you already have a lot to do setting up and hosting. Keep recipes relatively simple. If a whole turkey seems too daunting a task, you can spatchcock (or butterfly by removing the backbone) the turkey before cooking, or cook the turkey broken down in parts. You will still have the same flavors without all the pressure of getting it cooked just right. To keep things simple and easy, stick with side dishes you are familiar with instead of testing out new recipes.

Seating and tablescape. If you don’t have space for a large crowd, grab some folding tables or borrow some from your friends. Make the tablecloths festive and fun with mix-and-match autumnal colors so you don’t have to worry about having a tablecloth long enough for the extension. Use runners and placemats to add dimension and visual interest. Get inspired by the autumnal season and decorate with rich-colored fall flowers and produce. Add tea lights and candles to set the right ambiance. v

Stuffing Muffins
With Apple And Sausage

Ingredients:

4 oz. cubed bread, such as ciabatta

¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil

nonstick cooking spray

kosher salt

freshly ground pepper

2 Tbsp. butter

⅔ cup chopped onion

⅔ cup chopped celery

½ lb. ground Italian sausage

6 garlic cloves, finely chopped

¾ tsp. dried sage

1 Granny Smith apple, peeled and chopped

4 large eggs

2 Tbsp. chicken broth

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease two 12-cup mini muffin pans with nonstick cooking spray. Toss bread with 2 tablespoons oil and season with salt and pepper. Spread on a baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes until toasted.

In a large skillet, melt butter substitute and remaining 2 tablespoons of oil. Add onion and celery and cook over moderately high heat, stirring, until golden, about 5 minutes. Add sausage, garlic, and sage and cook until meat is cooked through, 5 minutes.

Place bread, sausage, chopped apple, eggs, and broth into a bowl and mix until combined. Season with salt and pepper and let stand 5 minutes. Scoop spoonfuls into muffin cups and bake 20–25 minutes until golden. Let cool 5 minutes before removing from tins. Serve warm.

Want to learn how to cook delicious gourmet meals right in your own kitchen? Take one-on-one cooking lessons or give a gift to an aspiring cook you know. For more information, contact Take Home Chef personal chef services by calling 516-508-3663, writing to elke@TakeHomeChef.net, or visiting www.TakeHomeChef.net.

Question

I am 22 years old and have been dating a guy for a long time. It’s kind of on again, off again. We like each other a lot, and we have so much in common. We finish each other’s sentences. We even talk about where our children will go to school. But the problem is that he has a very bad reputation, and my parents and my friends don’t like him.

Hashkafically, we are way off. But when we talk on the phone it can go on for hours. The last time we spoke it was for more than four hours. Sometimes we even fall asleep on the phone while we are talking.

So, to make everyone else happy, I went out with another guy a few times. But every time I talk to him on the date, he doesn’t seem to be paying attention. He’s always looking everywhere but at my face. My older friends tell me that guys do such things at singles functions, and that it’s normal for guys to act like that. But I think it’s rude.

My parents like this second guy, and they are begging me continue dating him. I think that’s because they hate the guy I’m crazy about. I’m very mixed up right now.

Response

By Baila Sebrow

I am inclined to agree with you that your parents are encouraging you to continue with the sidetracked and seemingly unfocused guy because they don’t approve of the guy you really want. Let’s examine what it is about him that your parents and everyone else disapprove of.

You say that your hashkafic values are dissimilar. For starters, that would mean that one of you might be less frum than the other, or that your families conduct themselves differently. If it’s a frumkeit issue, and the guy might be less frum than you are, it does not bother me one bit. Not only that, even if you are the less frum party in this relationship, that would be of no concern to me.

People place too much emphasis on hashkafah. Who was the “expert” who instituted that in order to be happily married a husband and wife must be of the same hashkafic background? If they share similar goals, they will, in due course, intellectually compromise on a middle ground. There are plenty of happily married couples who come from different hashkafic backgrounds and have managed to construct successful families.

When I say hashkafah, this is not to be confused with halachah. Hashkafah in most cases involves customs. And it’s the difference in customs that tragically causes havoc where families and friends encourage people to break up a relationship.

From what you are saying, it sounds like you and this guy are on the same page where goals are concerned. You understand one another and have an intuition into each other’s thoughts and needs. Those marathon phone conversations and being able to finish each other’s sentences are huge indicators of the special rapport you both share.

You are even in agreement about the schooling for your children, iy’H. When I hear of such relationships, it increases my confidence that whatever other hashkafic issues may come up, the couple will be able to work things out. Your relationship from a hashkafic perspective demonstrates that it has what it takes to build a bayis ne’eman b’Yisrael.

What is of distress to me is the bad reputation attached to the guy you are dating. That issue cannot be overlooked. However, that does not mean you should dismiss him from your life either. If you care enough about this guy and your relationship with him, you will need to thoroughly investigate this matter with a keen, objective eye.

Most people have a reputation of some kind. Some good, some bad. There are people who have bad reputations even if they’ve done nothing bad. And reputations follow people—the bad reputation sticks to the name. Those who are savvy don’t necessarily take what they hear at face value. Even though you likely heard bad things about this guy from the beginning, you did not allow your feelings to be prejudiced. And that’s commendable.

However, this is a shidduch we are talking about, a potential life decision. Such matters cannot be taken lightly. You do not disclose the details regarding this guy’s bad reputation. If it involves something he did in the past that has no bearing on his future, I would cut him some slack. But by all means you need to discuss it with him and see if there is any residual problem from that period in his life.

If this guy is currently involved in something shady, you do not want any connection to it. Because somewhere along the line, you will get caught up in it. If he is known to not treat others nicely, even though he treats you like a princess now, that should still raise a red flag. That would be enough of a concern and should not be overlooked. I urge you to do your homework with regard to all the things that are said about this guy and the warnings you receive from family and friends. Hopefully, your investigation will reveal that the guy you care so much about is good for you after all.

I understand that the on-again, off-again relationship you have is a result of the opposition from those you care about. And so, naturally, you agreed to go out with someone else. From what you are telling me about that new guy, he does not impress me. He might be wonderful in the eyes of your parents, as he is a good distraction from the guy they are adamantly against, but it sounds like he is bad news where you are concerned.

Your friends are correct about the way guys and even girls conduct conversations at singles functions. While talking to someone of the opposite gender, there are those whose eyes will wander to observe who else is in the room so they don’t miss out on any options. Such behavior should not be condoned, as it is disrespectful and makes the person they are talking to seem unimportant. However, it does go on all the time, and that cannot be changed.

But with all due respect to your friends, how can they compare a singles function to a one-on-one date with a guy? If he is on a date with you, he should be giving you his undivided attention. And if he does not or cannot, he is out of the running. No questions asked.

There could be a legitimate reason as to why his eyes wander, having nothing to do with rudeness. He may have an attention-deficit issue, or have things on his mind, or maybe he’s just curious about who else is around. All those things make no difference. And it makes no sense for you to even look into the reasons his eyes wander. The fact remains that he is not being attentive to you, and unless you really like him a lot—which does not seem to be the case—I advise you to let this one slide by.

For the most part, parents mean well and want the best for their children. But they are human, too, and their sense of responsibility can easily be clouded by outside forces. It is not unusual for parents to stand in the way of a shidduch. I am saying this to you because even if things end up checking out with the guy you really want, your parents might not change their minds. It’s not about being mean, but they might truly believe in their position.

If you find yourself in such a situation, my recommendation is that you are under no obligation to sacrifice your happiness in order to satisfy anyone else’s intolerance. Your objective is to do whatever it takes not only to find, but to keep, the man you can be happily married to.

Baila Sebrow is president of Neshoma Advocates, communications and recruitment liaison for Sovri-Beth Israel, executive director of Teach Our Children, and a shadchanis. She can be reached at Bsebrow@aol.com. v

Questions and comments can be submitted to 5townsforum@gmail.com.

By Mordechai Schmutter

Some woman came over to my mother at a bank once, and asked, “Do Jews celebrate Thanksgiving?”

My mother said, “Some do; some don’t. We don’t.”

“You’re so lucky!” the woman said. “You don’t have to cook!”

I personally don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, because if I think of a reason to thank Hashem, I’d rather do so right then, when I think of it. I don’t want to save up all my thank-yous for one day a year, because I’m horrible at remembering things, especially before I eat.

Nevertheless, Thanksgiving is a time when people all over the country get together to celebrate things like religious freedom and the fact that a group of long-gone Pilgrims stopped dying at a quicker rate than usual. Because if not for those Pilgrims, we wouldn’t have a country. Unless you count all the other explorers who settled in more tropical regions, like Manhattan.

But is that really what happened? A lot of us learned about the Pilgrims in school, as part of a unit on explorers. But rather than focusing on the part of exploring that actually interests kids, like the part where they’re walking through the woods with machetes, the teachers always seemed to focus on things like which corporations financed the expeditions, which is not even something the kids are vaguely interested in. But as a teacher—and I speak from experience—you always want to know who’s paying for everything. Maybe the explorers all had to come in with $5 from their parents.

The basic story involves a group of people called the Pilgrims, who were looking to get out of England so they could have more religious freedom. Eventually, they were approached by the London Company, which was a company that you don’t want to hear about, who told them that if they went, they could catch animals and trade furs.

For money. Not for other furs.

They set sail on two ships. One of those ships was the Speedwell, which was so called because it began to leak almost immediately after they left the dock. Twice. So everyone went back to England, where they all squished onto their other boat—the Mayflower, which is a pretty name for a hundred-foot boat that held 132 people plus goats, birds, and dogs for over two months. It did not smell like a mayflower.

They finally left England in September 1620, and they landed at Cape Cod, Massachusetts, in November, which is not the prettiest time to go to Cape Cod. And they were pretty upset, because it was Massachusetts. They were supposed to be aiming for Virginia.

But what do you want? There was no GPS. There were paper maps, but you lost those whenever the goats got loose.

So they pulled the boat into the bay and landed at Plymouth Rock, which, as you can see if you go to Plymouth, Massachusetts, is about the size of a sofa. It’s a lot smaller than we picture it. Some claim that the Pilgrims didn’t even land there. It’s a rock. How do you land a ship on a rock?

There’s actually a reason it’s so small. In 1774, the government decided to move the rock, so they got a team of oxen, and accidentally broke it in half. Which we think is exactly what happened to the Liberty Bell. Then, at some point, they started noticing that people had apparently been chipping off pieces and bringing them home. (There’s not a lot to do in Massachusetts.) So experts estimate that whatever’s still there is about a third the size of the original.

Anyway, the Pilgrims landed in New England right before the winter, with no food, no supplies, and no shelter, which—speaking as someone who has spent a few yamimtovim sleeping in a sukkah in Massachusetts—is not a good way to survive. My in-laws still talk about the year it snowed on their sukkah.

By the end of the first winter, there were 53 people left. They had better luck during the summer, though.

In March, they happened to luck into a Native American named Squanto. He happened to know English because he was once kidnapped and brought to England as a slave, at which point he escaped and made his way back to America, only to find that his tribe had been wiped out by a plague brought over by the people who’d kidnapped him, so he had to join another tribe, which, as it turned out, was the very same tribe the settlers ran into—the Pokanoket! Talk about hashgachahpratis! Not that he was sore.

And, boy, did Squanto come in handy. According to my research, he taught them:

1. How to plant corn. (Corn is hard. What part do you even plant?)

2. How to avoid plants that were poisonous. (“It’s not like they chase you,” he said.)

3. How to use alewives as fertilizer for their crops.

4. That alewives are not a kind of wives; they’re a kind of herring.

5. How to catch herring.

6. How to catch local animals such as turkeys, which are exactly like chickens, but terrifying. Especially during kapparos.

7. How to grow beans and squash, which are the two easiest things to grow. I’ve grown massive amounts of squash by accident, and beans are what kids plant in first grade in a paper cup in a classroom.

So I don’t know what the settlers were thinking. It’s like they didn’t even bring over anyone who had any basic survival skills. They didn’t know how to catch animals? Weren’t they there to trade furs? Did they think those grew on trees? It’s like the colonists were actively trying to kill themselves. Sure, they thought they’d end up further south, but they had no navigational skills either. Honestly; Columbus didn’t have a single clue where he was going, and he still ended up in the Bahamas. All four times!

But despite everyone dying, the Pilgrims decided to celebrate, because if history teaches us anything, it’s that you can’t live in the past.

So in the fall of 1621, they started preparing a festival. They don’t remember when they celebrated it, but they know it was on a Thursday. They didn’t even know it was an official Thanksgiving. They thought it was just a fall harvest festival, which is something that people have been doing for thousands of years: you bring all your crops in from the field, and then you try to eat them all at once before they go bad. I do the same thing every year with my squash.

The first actual Thanksgiving meal they had was two years later, in 1623, after it didn’t rain for a while, and then it did. They had a Thanksgiving Day feast, in the rain. People died. So what people think is Thanksgiving is actually a composite of two events.

On the first Thanksgiving, they weren’t even going to invite the Indians, because they had to draw the line on the guest list somewhere. But then the Indians heard gunfire and thought they were starting a war, so they ran in with all their weapons, and the Pilgrims were like, “No, no, we’re getting ready for our feast. We’re hunting corn.”

So now they had to invite the Indians. And Squanto, of course, had to teach them how to cook.

After the feast, everyone pretty much forgot about it, until 1863, when Lincoln decided to institute the holiday (which he set on the last day in November) to try to avoid the Civil War, because brother won’t fight against brother if they have to come to their parents’ house for a meal. After all, the Pilgrims and the Native Americans ate together, and they didn’t kill each other that much for at least the next 50 years.

It didn’t work. Right after the holiday, everyone ran out and started killing each other over reasonably priced gift items.

Then, in 1939, Franklin Roosevelt decided to move the holiday to a randomly moving day in November, so he could have a long weekend.

So in summary, Thanksgiving was established in both 1863 and 1939 to be on a constantly shifting weekend in November, to commemorate an event that didn’t actually happen in 1621, and if it did, it was a misunderstanding. So mostly it’s, as Lincoln said, an excuse to get together. And you’ve got to say that as far as secular holidays go, this is not the worst reason to have one. It’s definitely better than celebrating groundhogs. It’s actually sitting around a table and being thankful for the things you have, until about 6 o’clock, when you run out to the store to stand in long lines and buy more things.

Or, if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, you can at least be thankful that you don’t have to cook.

Mordechai Schmutter is a weekly humor columnist for Hamodia and is the author of four books, published by Israel Book Shop. He also does freelance writing for hire. You can send any questions, comments, or ideas to MSchmutter@gmail.com.

By Judah Rhine

Editor’s Note: We begin this week’s Sports Center with some updates intended for publication last week.

The DRS Wildcats are the champions of the 2015 Cooper Invitational Basketball Tournament held in Memphis, as a result of a hard-fought 54–45 victory over their local rivals, the HAFTR Hawks. The professionally run four-day tournament is made up of 16 Jewish schools from all around the country. DRS defeated the Atlanta Jags in the round of 16 and then bested the YHS Storm from Boca, 55–45, in a tightly contested quarterfinal game. In the semifinals, DRS, led by Yoav Deutsch’s game-high 28 points, had little trouble with the fourth-seeded RASG Warriors from Miami. DRS forward Gabe Leifer led all scorers in the championship game with 27 points and was named tournament MVP. Yoav Deutsch and HAFTR big-man Abie Perlow were named to the tournament All-Star team. It was a happy plane ride back to Long Island for the champions from DRS.

Varsity Boys’ Update

The championship DRS team at the Cooper Tournament

Heschel Heat Stay Hot! The Heschel Heat came out of an early-season tough schedule smelling like roses, beating Frisch on the road, 58–50 in overtime, and TABC at home 67–46. The Heat are now 3–0 in league play and head to Los Angeles on Wednesday for the inaugural Shalhevet invitational, November 12–15. Against Frisch, senior Sam Schwartzben scored 9 of his 30 points in overtime and also had 13 rebounds to lead the Heat in a good early-season encounter for both teams. Senior point-guard Aaron Brandeis chipped in with 14 and had 5 assists. Against the Storm, the Heat broke the game open with a 23–4 run early in the third quarter when only up by 2, led by Ben Brandeis’s 9 points, and brother Aaron’s 6 points, along with 2 threes from senior Matt Goldstein’s 2 threes. The Heat are now 3–0 in league and do not return to league play until early December, after traveling to Los Angeles where they will play 5 games beginning November 12.

Rambam over Shaare Torah. Rambam gets their third win of the season over Shaare Torah, 52–36. Daniel Petrikovsky led the attack with 16 points. Jack Ross and Jacob Dubin chipped in with 10 and 8 points, respectively.

DRS 65, Magen David 46. DRS led from the opening tip with Gabriel Leifer scoring a game-high 16 points and the backcourt duo of Yoav Deutsch and Jeremy Brody each scoring 14. The Wildcats are now 3 and 0 in league play and 11 and 0 overall.

DRS Remains Undefeated. The DRS Varsity basketball team continued its winning ways with impressive league victories over Rambam on November 12 by a score of 52–29 and over North Shore on November 14 by a score of 48–29. DRS is now 13 and 0 overall and 5 and 0 in Yeshiva league play.

In the Rambam contest, Gabe Leifer led the way with a game-high 28 points. Against North Shore, DRS had balanced scoring attack led again by Leifer with 17 points. Also in double figures were Yoav Deutsch, 14 points, and Zev Ben Ami, 12 points.

YOF Back on Track. Southern hospitality is fantastic, but it doesn’t compare to good home-cooking, and the varsity boys’ basketball team showed that was the case Tuesday night, November 10, when they righted the ship with a strong effort to defeat a much improved HANC Hurricanes squad, 53–43, in the Falcons’ nest in Brooklyn.

While the defensive effort put forth by the Falcons has come to be expected from a Flatbush team, the hometown boys looked like they brought the turnover bug that plagued them in Memphis back to Brooklyn, as carelessness with the ball and missed opportunities on offense dug the team a 5–0 deficit. It took more than half the period for the Falcons to get on the board. But when they finally did, it was like magic dust had been sprinkled on the Flatbush squad. The team began playing like a team, with an intensity that had not been present since the end of the previous JV season. Abie Rosow played a power inside game, resulting in inside baskets and trips to the foul line. Kevin Haddad began to find seams in the defense and hit from both inside and outside. The only negative for the Falcons in the half was that the team was committing fouls at an alarming rate; the Hurricanes were in the bonus in the closing moments of the first quarter, and Coach Gurock had to delicately balance the minutes of front-court players Joe Gindi and Yoel Goldberg, along with Rosow, all of whom were in foul trouble.

In the second half, the Falcons showed a resolve that had been missing, a clear focus in purpose, and a determination to give a complete team effort. The offense kept up the patient effort, while at the same time the defense cleaned things up, committing only two fouls through the middle of the fourth quarter. And the offense did the most important thing—they knocked down shots. Rosow was dominant inside. Haddad fueled the second-half run, hitting multiple threes from the perimeter, and hitting driving lay-ups. Complementing Haddad, Louis Zarif, Isaac Arazi, Yoel Goldberg, and Joe Oved knocked down shots.

Equally significant, the boys closed out the game by hitting free-throws and protecting the ball on offense. When the final buzzer sounded, the Falcons were the proud owners of a 53–43 win, and are back on track!

Girls’ Update

1. The reigning champions Ma’ayanot Rapids team opened their season with an impressive win 48–23, taking the Kushner Cobras down an aggressive roaring Rapids defense. They lead the whole game with even scoring. Freshman Nealy Saks “5th Avenue” led all scorers with 12 points.

Rebecca “Kobe” Malech dropped in another 10 points, cruising to a great start to the season. Led by two great motivating coaches, Keni and Bianca, this young Rapids team loves to compete!

Junior Varsity.The JV Ma’ayanot Rapids staged a come-from-behind victory down by 9 points going into the fourth quarter, although it was their lowest-scoring game in 3 seasons since Coach Keni Ashby took over the reins. The Rapids staged an impressive defensive comeback! The Flatbush Falcons fell victim to another “roaring” Rapids defensive on-slot. All scorers led by sophomore sensation Rebecca “Kobe” Malech with 12 points, and with Sari Alexander putting in 7 points, hitting a big hook shot to bring the Rapids back.

“These young ladies weren’t at their best and a little sloppy at times, but never gave up!” added Coach Keni. v

This Week’s Sports

Flatbush vs. HAFTR on November 12

Flatbush Varsity Shocks HAFTR. Playing for the sixth time in eight days, the varsity Falcons showed no effects of fatigue. Quite the contrary, the team showed a resiliency in coming back after trailing at the half against a league opponent for the second time in a row, this time defeating the HAFTR Hawks on Thursday night, November 12, in the second game of a JV/varsity doubleheader by a score of 60–50 at the Falcon’s Nest in Brooklyn.

The HAFTR varsity came in to the game having lost to DRS in the finals of the Cooper Invitational and holding a national ranking of #2 among yeshiva/Jewish day schools across the country (Flatbush was ranked 21st in the same poll). Flatbush came in off a divisional win over HANC, but though the Falcons had battled some top teams well, they had yet to record a win over one of the country’s elite programs. And for most of the first half, it looked like they would still be looking for that first signature win.

 From the opening tip, HAFTR looked every bit the powerhouse. They pushed their way inside against the smaller Falcons for points in the paint, and when Flatbush collapsed the defense to deny the ball inside, the Hawks shot over them with multiple 3-pointers. By the middle of the second quarter, HAFTR had a 14-point lead and looked to run away with the game.

That is when the Flatbush senior leadership began to assert itself. With fire and energy from Albert Richter, and calm and steady play from Elliot Beyda, the Falcons began to play the game one possession at a time. The Falcons chipped away at the HAFTR lead, and when the buzzer sounded to end the half, the lead was down to single digits, 31–22.

The third quarter belonged to the Falcons, and to junior guard Kevin Haddad. Showing why he is one of the most feared backcourt players in the Yeshiva League, Haddad was in the zone, scoring 13 of his game-high 20 points in the period, including three hits from beyond the arc. The HAFTR lead that had at one time been double-digits was pared to one single point heading into the final quarter of play.

Flatbush was determined not to let this opportunity get away. Beyda gave the kind of effort the team has now grown to expect of him, hitting for 6 points in the final quarter. Fellow senior guard Jake Shalom also stepped up, putting up 7 points, including a dagger of a 3-pointer down the stretch, followed by two free-throws that, along with a matching pair from Center Abie Rosow, iced the game.

The Falcons had a great defensive effort, too. The guards gave the typical up-tempo effort on the perimeter, and Rosow was a big factor on the rebounding end, as were frontline teammates Yoel Goldberg and Jackie Mishaan. But the biggest contribution came from senior center David Dayan. He was a factor on defense in neutralizing the powerful HAFTR frontcourt, and also pulled in rebounds at both ends of the court, particularly on the offensive end late in the fourth quarter, allowing the offense to reset and run down more of the clock.

 As pleasing a result as it was for the varsity, it was a disappointing end for the JV in the night’s opening game. Dominating play for most of the game, and leading virtually throughout the contest, the young Falcons faltered down the stretch, with a number of open possessions and missing key free-throws to leave the door open for HAFTR. And with 7.3 seconds remaining in regulation, the Hawks walked right through it with a huge 3-pointer to tie the game. Flatbush did take an early 3-point lead in the overtime period when Jack Rosow was fouled on a made basket and converted the free-throw to complete the conventional 3-point play. But Flatbush again faltered at the free-throw line, and with a number of Falcons having fouled out, HAFTR took advantage, outscoring the Falcons 12–5 the rest of the way, winning by a final score of 63–58.

Wilf Gymnasium, Elizabeth, Saturday Night, November 14—JEC Thunder Keep Winning. At this game between neighborhood rivals, the spirit of goodwill and community was in the air, against the backdrop of the tragedies that had unfolded in Paris on Friday night. The Kushner Cobras came to JEC to complete the season home and home series at the Wilf Gymnasium.

The proceedings began with magnificent renditions of the National Anthem and Hatikvah by JEC/RTMA parent and renowned vocalist Ira Heller. That was followed by player introductions. And then, “Play ball!”

In the first meeting between these two teams, the Cobras opened in a slow down offense and controlled the first period 13–7. This time, the Thunder opened in a full-court press and man-to-man D to force the action. That is exactly what resulted, and at the end of the first period, JEC/RTMA led 13–1.

In the second, the Cobras found their offensive legs and scored 12 points to the Thunder’s 13. The result was a 26–13 JEC/RTMA lead at the break. The final moments of the second period were punctuated by a last-second trey that touched only net by the Thunder’s junior SG Ranaan Kimmel, which stunned the crowd.

In the third, the Thunder kept the jets on. Senior SG Akiva Shulman netted two treys on designed plays, while Kimmel, for a second time, closed out the period with yet another last-second three-pointer. By the time the admiration was over, JEC/RTMA was leading 44–25, heading into the final period.

The Thunder also won that final period, 14–8. This time, it was senior PG captain Shmaryahu Shulman doing the offensive damage with 7 points. But the highlight of the period was an NBA-distance trey from fan favorite senior PG Yoni Rosenbaum, and the tough rebounding and floor play of Thunder senior SF Shalom Becker and senior PF Shawn Kerzner.

The final score was 58–39.

Rambam Wins Again.Rambam defeated visiting North Shore, 45–36. Jack Ross scored 18 points in the win, while teammate Daniel Petrikovsky scored 11 of his 17 points in the 4th quarter.

It’s starting to get interesting for the 2015–16 JEC/RTMA varsity Thunder. And the JV Thunder is doing pretty well too. In a brutal and well-played game to open the evening, the JV forced the TABC Storm into overtime with a clutch last-second three-pointer from sophomore SG Sholom Dershowitz that had the crowd grasping.

From there, in the overtime session, sophomore SG Dovid Reiser took over and, together with freshman PG Moshe Heller, scored time and again and nailed crucial free-throws to lead the JV Thunder to an upset win. The JV Thunder is now 4–2 in the tough West Division.

In the varsity game between JEC/RTMA and TABC, the Thunder knew that defense would allow the team to stay in the game, make their trademark threes, and convert foul shots to make it a contest.

As it has done for most of the season, JEC started strong, building a 14–7 lead. That early bulge was built on the tenacity and sharpshooting of senior captain PG Shmaryahu Shulman, who scored 7. Aided by treys from senior PF Marc Shapiro and junior shooting guard Ranaan Kimmel, the Thunder seemed to be on their way.

In the second, senior PF Yoni Apsan nailed a trey, and the Thunder had another 5 points from Shulman. Still, the Storm began to chip away, narrowing the gap to 22–16 at the half, and it was anyone’s game.

Out of the locker, TABC’s press was feared, but once again, the Thunder was decisively breaking the Storm press, so that it was not a factor in the game. Captain PF Jacob Feiler bombed 2 of his trademark treys and Apsan contributed 2 more buckets, and still TABC further narrowed the lead to a manageable 5 points, 35–30 JEC, going into the final period.

A comeback was in the air. And TABC tried valiantly, led by senior PG Gabe Ty Gerszberg’s dazzling drives and body control layups.

After yet another Feiler three bomb, TABC got the Thunder lead down to 4, with 2:03 to play. The Thunder had possession, and TABC had to foul to force JEC to the foul line in the hope the Thunder would miss the front ends of 1–1’s and the Storm could regain possession. The problem was that the Thunder player handling the ball most was Shulman, and fouling him proved fruitless.

Shulman went 9–10 from the foul line in the final period. Every time TABC seemed to have a bead on the win, Shulman was fouled, most of the time strategically, and despite the pressure of the huge crowd eager to “WHOOSH” as he would nail the shots, Shulman nailed the FT’s and the Thunder was able to hold on to a two-possession game for the entire final period.

With Shulman’s heroics, JEC matched TABC point for point, 17–17, as the Thunder closed out the game and beat TABC, 52–47. The crowd stormed the newly redesigned JEC court and the game was in the books.

With the win, JEC moved its league record to 6–1, and 9–2 overall.

At L.A. Shalhevet Tournament, Heschel Wins. Shalhevet High School in Los Angeles hosted the first-ever Steve Glouberman Basketball Tournament in the new gym of the new building. Games took place both at the school and in the JCC November 12–15, and a Shabbaton was planned for the 14 participating teams. Schools from New York, New Jersey, Michigan, and Maryland were represented, along with local rivals YULA and De Toledo (formerly New Community Jewish High School).

The tournament is named in honor of Steve Glouberman, who passed away last January. Steve was the father of three Shalhevet alumni: Leah, class of 2013, and Jeremy and Rachel, class of ’15. Their mother, Mrs. Flora Glouberman, says Steve loved sports, especially basketball.

“I kind of feel like it’s the perfect way to honor him,” said Mrs. Glouberman in an interview. “Steve believed in competition, working with a team, never giving up, being a fighter—so I think it’s very important for his memory.”

Head of School Rabbi Ari Rabbi Segal said the tournament was honoring someone very special: “We are thrilled to be able to memorialize Steve in this way, as he loved basketball and loved the idea of Jewish teenagers being together in this kind of way.” Rabbi Segal said the tournament also aimed to build connections with the Jewish community. “The opportunity for sport to transcend philosophical and ideological differences is exactly what we hope to achieve this weekend,” said Rabbi Segal in an e‑mail to the community. “Of course we look forward to breaking the seal on our new gym with spirited competition. More important, however, we look forward to fostering a genuine sense of communal achdus and to build connections that will last a long time.”

Participating boys teams were Shalhevet, YULA, and De Toledo from Los Angeles; Frisch from Paramus, N.J.; Salanter Akiba Riverdale Academy (SAR) from Riverdale, N.Y.; Torah Academy of Bergen County (TABC) from Teaneck, N.J.; Abraham Joshua Heschel School from New York City; and Berman Hebrew Academy from Rockville, Md.

Heschel defeated De Toledo in the opening game, 78–54. Schwartzben had 15, with 5 guys in double figures. Heschel then beat TABC for the second time in four days, 63–49 in game 2, with 4 guys in double-digits, led by Schwartzben’s 18. Proctor had 18 for TABC. Heschel then beat Berman from Washington, DC, 51–35, but scored no points in the 3rd quarter, holding them to only 6. Michael Gatan, junior guard, led the way with 13.

Heschel loves the 3, making 42 in the tournament and averaging 9 per game this year. Aaron Brandeis and Sam Schwartzben were named MVP’s of the tournament.

Touro NYSCAS. A very short-handed NYSCAS team lost their first game to King’s College of N.Y. The first half was very close, with a 3-point lead for King. The second half belonged to King, as they pulled away to a double-digit lead.

Touro’s second game was at Webb College. Touro led all the way and dominated under the basket and from the 3-point line. The final score was 66–38 for their first win. It was a great team victory, with four players in double figures. Next up for Touro is Mount St. Vincent on November 22 and the City College on November 30 at 7:00 p.m. at the City College gym.

Irv Bader, coach of Touro, stated, “I have very fond memories of playing City College with YU. We were on the front page of the New York Times sports section. We beat City, giving YU credibility among the city’s best college teams. I hope Touro NYSCAS will be successful as well.”

Flatbush Girls’ Update. The Flatbush varsity girls’ basketball team showed why they will be one of the toughest opponents on everyone’s schedule this season when they traveled to Long Island on Tuesday night, November 17, for a second consecutive matchup with the North Shore Stars, taking both ends of the home and home divisional games in convincing fashion, winning 46–28 on November 8 in Brooklyn and again Tuesday night in Great Neck, 49–25.

The Stars came in to the rematch feeling confident, having defeated HANC by 19 points the night before. And with Flatbush taking its time to get in gear, it looked like the second time around would be much closer. But though it took nearly half of the opening period for the sloppy Flatbush play to net the team’s first points, the Falcon defense made sure the Stars would fare no better. By the second quarter, Flatbush had gotten its bearings, and with the pressure defense on full display, the team had built a 13-point lead at the midway mark.

The third quarter showed how much the team had been missing the play of senior guard Jennifer Maleh, who had been out with a nagging leg injury. Maleh hit on two jump shots, and on defense she turned over the Stars, leading to fast-break points from teammates Sarah Horowitz, Rose Mishaan, and Victoria Gindi, allowing the Falcons to extend their lead. With Sylvia Franco and Samantha Chabot splitting time at point running the offense, they moved the ball beautifully, setting up easy shots for their teammates and opening up lanes for Esther Harary to drill two 3-pointers from the corner. Superb defense and rebounding by Leah Linfield and Judy Blanka made sure that the hosts had no chance to get back into the game.v

Judah Rhine, who has been coaching youth basketball for more than 35 years, is co-director of MVP Boys Basketball Camp and MVP Girls Basketball Camp and co‑commissioner of the National Council of Young Israel basketball league. He can be reached at mvp4boys@gmail.com or mvp4girls@gmail.com.

Shulamith first-graders at Green Meadows Farm

Lt. Gabi Sackett speaking at Shulamith

First-Graders at the Farm. It was fun-filled! It was fur-filled! It was educational! Last Wednesday, November 18, the first-graders of Shulamith School for Girls enjoyed a special outing to Green Meadows Farm in Queens. They proudly rode ponies, took a hayride together, and had the chance to pet and feed many different animals. Throughout the year, the first-graders will be learning about different animal groups and pumpkins.

They also look forward to graphing their favorite parts of the farm. The girls were chaperoned by their teachers, Mrs. Judy Greenfield and Mrs. Masha Hoffman, and by parents Mrs. Eisenberg, Mrs. Greene, Mrs. Kunstler, Mrs. Lifshitz, and Mrs. Zelefsky.

Living Torah Museum. On Tuesday, November 17, fourth-grade teachers Mrs. Futersak and Mrs. Gerber brought their students to the Living Torah Museum in Brooklyn for an enriching educational opportunity. They were joined by parent chaperones Mrs. Abittan and Mrs. Gelbtuch.

At Torah Animal World, the girls saw all of the animals listed in the Torah. They were intrigued to learn which seven wild animals are actually kosher. Next was a room displaying all of the animals enumerated in Perek Shirah. Finally, the museum’s director, Rabbi Deutsch, brought the girls into a room filled with ancient artifacts from various time periods of the Torah. A few volunteers were chosen to spin a dreidel from ancient Greece. All of the girls were fascinated by the world’s smallest kosher SeferTorah and by the oldest menorah. They were also awed by a video which showed the dressmaker of the Queen of England weaving real gold threads into the royal garments, similar to the way in which gold threads were woven into the clothing of the kohanim in the time of the Beis HaMikdash.

As the girls boarded the buses and traveled back to Cedarhurst, they couldn’t stop marveling at the wonders they had seen at the museum.

Mrs. Gila Manolson Inspires Students of Shulamith. On Thursday, November 19, grades seven and eight were privileged to hear words of wisdom from Mrs. Gila Manolson. Mrs. Manolson resides in Israel and is the world-renowned author of a number of books, including Outside Inside, which addresses the subject of tzniyus in a straightforward, intelligent, and uplifting way.

Mrs. Manolson began her address with a bit of information about her background as an unaffiliated Jew born in the U.S. who knew almost nothing about Judaism. She stated that if she had thought tzniyus was only about collars and inches, she would not have been successful in her journey. She explained that tzniyus is not about inches; it is about self-esteem and knowing who you are. True modesty, Mrs. Manolson explained, means dressing beautifully in a quality way so that others can see past your external appearance and view the true you—your neshamah and innermost, truest self.

The students were riveted as Mrs. Manolson used insights from Sefer Bereishis, fascinating analogies, and inspirational stories to explain the concept of tzniyus in an engaging and refreshing way.

Students and Seniors Give Thanks. Thursday, November 19, offered some Shulamith Middle School students the chance to visit with seniors at the Marian & Aaron Gural JCC in Cedarhurst. Seventh-graders Ariella Borah, Talia Cinamon, Leora Friedman, Leora Muskat, Rachel Schwartz, and Chaya Sokel, along with eighth-graders Batya Altmark, Tamar Davies, Eleora Fine, and Rachel Sandler, traveled to the JCC to join in a pre-Thanksgiving celebration. The smiles, spirited dancing, and lively banter of the Shulamith students added a youthful exuberance to the event. Having seniors and students spend this special time together was truly a reason to give thanks!

Thanksgiving Fair. On Thursday, November 19, second-graders welcomed their parents and grandparents to the annual Thanksgiving Fair. The school lunchroom was elaborately decorated in fall colors, creating a festive atmosphere for the event. The girls sang songs and presented poems. Children and their guests enjoyed making placemats, bean candles, bookmarks, and cupcake turkeys at interactive booths.

Thanks to the creativity and commitment of teachers Sharon Katz and Gila Kapolovitz, the second-graders enjoyed an enriching experience that taught them all about the Pilgrims and why they came to the New World. Most importantly, as the students and parents thanked their teachers, it was evident that they had gained a newfound appreciation and understanding of hakarasha’tov.

Tehillim Assembly for Our Brothers and Sisters in Israel. The middle division of Shulamith School for Girls assembled in solidarity and identification with our brothers and sisters in Israel at this time of the assault of the forces of evil on the sacred routines of everyday life. The students were reminded that every day, our brothers and sisters who make their homes in MedinatYisrael face the challenges of the hostile neighboring population. The IDF soldiers are on the frontlines in protecting the citizenry from those who seek harm to the Jewish people in our homeland. A special guest, Lieutenant Gabi Sackett, brother of Coach Temima Miller, who grew up in Woodmere and made aliyah at the age of 20 and joined the IDF, spoke to the girls about the dedication of the IDF soldiers and how they put their role as soldiers and protectors of the citizens of Israel before their personal needs.

Three meaningful mizmorei Tehillim were chosen: Mizmor 23 because it refers to not being fearful, because Hashem is with us, even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death; Mizmor 121 because it speaks of our help coming from Hashem, and gives the blessing that Hashem should protect us from all evil, and protect our comings and goings forever; and Mizmor 122 because it refers to our coming to a completely rebuilt Jerusalem, and to the berachah that there be peace among our regiments and in our “palaces,” our homes. Lieutenant Sackett recited the tefillot for Tzahal and for MedinatYisrael and the students sang Acheinu Kol Beit Yisrael and concluded the assembly with HaTikvah. Lieutenant Sackett was also presented with a large package of warm socks collected by students to present to IDF soldiers.

May we see a quick end to this difficult period in Israel and the world over. May good people overcome the forces of evil and may safety and security prevail.

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman

There is a great need to encourage our children to read more. The benefits of reading are huge. Reading increases intelligence, attention span, and vocabulary, may ward off Alzheimer’s, and has many other virtues. And, of late, our yeshiva students
and Bais Yaakov girls have been reading less and less. Thus, whenever halachically possible, we should be trying to encourage reading—particularly when a book or book series has a strong appeal to our readers. This, however, must be tempered with a strong adherence to our Torah traditions and proper observance of mitzvos.

Yet there are some questionable books that kids are reading. One such series involves the character known as Percy Jackson. This character is known as a demi-god, half Greek god and half human. The question is whether there is a prohibition of reading this series on account of the issue of “al tifnu el elilim—do not turn to gods.”

The Prohibition

What is the nature of the prohibition and what does it encompass? The commentators say it is a lav (a “Thou shalt not”) in the Torah to direct attention toward avodahzarah in any manner, and it refers to avodahzarah that technically was not used yet as well (see Shevet HaLevi Vol. IV #94).

This is a crucial distinction between this prohibition and the other prohibitions of idol-worship found throughout the Torah. The other prohibitions refer to active idols or gods. Here, the prohibition deals with directing significance and attention to them.

The Rambam (Avodah Zarah 2:3) mentions that based upon the aforementioned prohibition, it is forbidden to read books about avodahzarah, and that even mentioning their name is forbidden. Rav Moshe Feinstein (I.M. Y.D. II #53) addresses the question whether a public-school teacher who teaches global studies may teach about Greek civilization’s religious beliefs. He writes one crucial caveat—that he may only do so if he teaches about their belief system in a negative way. Rav Moshe seems to be more lenient when the avodah zarah was mevutal—when no one worships it anymore. We can see this by examining key phrases in his responsum.

It is also well known that Greek and Roman “mythology” was actually the dominant religion in Greece and the Roman Empire until it was replaced by Christianity from about 35 CE to 320 CE and with the Emperor’s active support after 320 CE. Current historians state that there were about 200,000 Christians in the Roman Empire at the year 200 CE.

Is It An Active Religion?

But is it truly the case that Greek idol-worship is not halachically considered an active religion? Readers may be shocked to learn that until about 1995, it was illegal in Greece to believe in the ancient gods. Modern Greece is officially a Greek Orthodox Christian nation. The country was formed in about 1830. The anti-ancient-god laws were initially promulgated at the formation of the country. When the law was repealed, various “neo-Hellenic” groups formed with ceremonies dedicated to Zeus, Athena, Neptune, etc.

The religion known as Dodekatheism originated in and is practiced in Greece and in a number of other countries too.

How many practitioners of this old/new religion are there? Leaders of the movement claimed in 2005 that there are as many as 2,000 adherents to the Hellenic tradition in Greece. They also claim that there are about 100,000 people with some sort of interest in them as well.

The naming of the religion is interesting. Some are referred to as neo-Hellenists, others as Hellenic Polytheistic Reconstructionists, but this refers more to the methodology used by practitioners to revive a version of the religion. Not all Hellenes are necessarily Reconstructionists, per se. Dodekatheism and Olympianism are other names for the religions of these practitioners.

What About Harry Potter?

In this author’s view, Percy Jackson is significantly worse than Harry Potter because in the latter there is no technical violation of attaching significance to avodahzarah. True, the Harry Potter series attaches significance to kishuf or magic. However, the prohibition of magic does not have the “al tifnu” issues that idol-worship does, hence it would be more lenient.

Other Halachic Issues

What about reading Homer? It seems that there are many subtle references to Homer in the Yerushalmi (see for example Sanhedrin 10:1), but there it kind of mentions the gods only in the context of offerings being brought to a god.

Although the reading of fiction is often discouraged by many seforim (see S.A. O.C. 307:16) and poskim, some have ruled leniently because of the many educational benefits of reading. (According to those poskim, the prohibition of reading fiction has gone the way of the prohibition against the tefillin mirror for men.) Yet when I posed the question of reading Percy Jackson, they were unaware of any leniency.

Conclusion

This author would like to suggest that parents and schools should discourage the reading of this series, as it is hard not to see how it does not violate “Al tifnu el elilim,” particularly now when there is a revival of this religion. The Five Towns Jewish Times hopes to pose the question to leading gedolim over the next few months.

There is an interesting word that appears in our Siddurim when we recite Psukei D’Zimra. In the verse that begins “ki kol elohei ha’amim elilim” and ends with“v’Hashem Shamayim assah,” we are instructed to pause between the beginning of this verse and the end. Why is that? Because we do not wish to mention the word “gods” and then mention the True One G‑d right away, together in one breath.

But we can ask, isn’t the person reciting Shacharis every day here way beyond falling victim to a belief in avodah zarah? Of what purpose is it to insert this pause? The answer is that it creates within us a sensitivity to ensure that we do nothing that takes us away from Hashem.

Rav Yitzchok Hutner, zt’l, once asked why it is that the expression used to denote one who fears Hashem actually employs a euphemism—Yarei Shamayim, or one who fears Heaven? The answer he gave was that this expression is in and of itself predicated upon fear of Hashem—not to even mention a first-degree euphemism for Hashem, but to employ a two-degree euphemism. This is an extraordinary thought.

We are approaching the season of Chanukah. The main enemy of the Jews at the time of the Chanukah events was Antiochus Epiphanes, who tried importing the culture of Hellenism replete with the very Greek gods which Percy Jackson novels attempt to idolize. How can we not be sensitive to this issue?

One should consult with one’s own rav or posek, but it is this author’s opinion that Jewish boys and girls should unquestionably not be reading Percy Jackson novels or seeing such films.

We can and should utilize other series and books to enhance our children’s reading, many of which have already been gathered together for the convenience of parents. For example, we are privileged in our community to have the Levi Yitzchak Library, which offers an ample supply of appropriate reading material. Happy reading!

The author can be reached at Yairhoffman2@gmail.com.

A major lawsuit was filed against Israeli airline El Al for causing the collapse of HAS Advantage, a “support Israel” credit card with almost 30,000 members. The suit alleges that, planning to start its own US credit card, the Fly Card, El Al acted to wipe out the local competition. HAS Advantage founder Zev Dobuler says his company lost as much as $10 million, as well as a decade of his life’s work.

In April 2014, surprised HAS card members discovered that the points they were accumulating towards El Al flights were suddenly inapplicable.

According to Dobuler, El Al breached multiple agreements with HAS, causing it eventually to collapse. He claims the Israeli airline unlawfully profited from HAS and illegally used HAS ideas and business models which were presented to them in anticipation of a joint venture.

On November 3, HAS submitted at the District Court in Lod, Israel, a $20.8 million lawsuit against El Al, on the grounds that the carrier’s behavior “intentionally caused a successful business to collapse, the loss of millions of dollars of investment capital, the loss of tens of millions of dollars of potential future revenue, and caused US Bank to cancel the HAS partnership and absorb HAS’s 30,000 cardholders into the banks’ standard card program,” in violation of specific agreements.

The claim refers to the period between 2012 and 2014, in which El Al’s current CEO, David Maimon, served first as the VP of Commercial & Industry Affairs and later as the CEO, acting on El Al’s behalf during the negotiations.

Established a decade ago by Dobuler and a group of pro-Israel investors, HAS set out to market a unique credit card that would link consumers to Israel by supporting Israeli charitable institutions, purchasing blue-and-white products, and promoting tourism to Israel.

Dobuler arrived in Israel with his family from Far Rockaway in 1990. In 2003 he returned to New York to create HAS, which was launched in 2005. HAS maintained offices on Long Island as well as in Jerusalem, and in 2010 Dobuler returned to Israel with his family and managed HAS out of the Jerusalem office. At the time, the scope of investment in HAS reached $8.7 million.

In 2005, HAS partnered with US Bank and Visa to launch the HAS Advantage Visa Rewards card. Cardholders earned points redeemable in 14 reward categories, and HAS donated a percentage of every purchase to its 24 partner Israeli charities, totaling almost $1 million. Cardholders could choose between card designs of the Kotel or the American and Israeli flags. Members earned double points in more than 140 locations across the U.S., including at more than 30 of the largest U.S. kosher supermarkets, and received discounts at more than 50 leading restaurants when visiting Israel.

According to Dobuler, in 2005, HAS and El Al signed a point transfer agreement allowing HAS members to transfer their HAS points to El Al in exchange for payment from HAS. This feature quickly became one of the main components of the card and at 56,000 points, HAS Advantage became the most attractive bonus ticket in the market to Israel.

In short order, Dobuler says, HAS became a success story. Since 2005, the company’s 30,000 customers spent more than $1.5 billion using the HAS Advantage card. Since 2006, HAS purchased almost $12 million in Matmid (frequent flyer) points from El Al.

Dobuler says he was approached in July 2012 by the manager of El Al’s Matmid department, Lior Tanner, who told him that El Al was seeking to enter into a venture with HAS to launch a joint credit card. Negotiations ended in June 2013. In addition to splitting profits 50/50, HAS committed to purchasing $26 million in Matmid points in the first five years of the ten-year deal, prepay $10 million for Matmid points, and commit to a minimum profit to El Al of $6 million in the first five years, according to Dobuler.

In mid-August, Dobuler says, El Al was negotiating with Diners Club to launch an El Al credit card in Israel. The parent company of Diners Club is Discover Bank. El Al informed Discover that it had an agreement with HAS to launch a credit card in the US with US Bank. In response, Discover immediately requested to be a part of the deal as well.

Dobuler says Tanner asked him to represent the sides in negotiations with Discover. Dobuler claims he received a final Discover proposal, which was very attractive and the sides estimated it was worth $52 million in profits over 10 years, split 50/50. But three weeks later, Dobuler says his life changed forever, when he received an e-mail from Tanner stating that HAS and El Al needed to negotiate the percentage going to HAS in the Discover deal. Dobuler says El Al threatened that if HAS didn’t agree to the new terms, it would take the Discover deal for itself and leave HAS out completely.

According to the lawsuit, El Al threatened to stop all of HAS’s point transfers by bringing up an old $740,000 disputed debt from December 2012 that was due to be settled upon signing the joint venture agreement.

Dobuler alleges that once El Al had decided to breach its agreements with HAS and pressure it for a greater share of the ownership, it dug up the old disputed debt as leverage and demanded immediate payment, contrary to the earlier agreement.

“Once El Al intentionally collapsed HAS, three invoices which were coming due in the near future (and which HAS was not late in paying) obviously couldn’t be paid,” Dobuler claims. “These invoices totaled $1.1 million and together with the other ‘disputed’ debt totaled approximately $1.8 million. So after almost a decade of a perfect payment history, El Al proclaimed that it canceled the HAS contract because of a $1.8 million debt—which HAS was happy to pay if only El Al would honor their contractual obligations.”

After El Al had stopped all point transfers from HAS customers, it notified US Bank that HAS was defaulting on payments and even offered US Bank direct transfers without HAS. In response, the bank immediately announced the nullification of its contractual arrangements with HAS and absorbed all 30,000 HAS members into a standard US Bank rewards program. This blocked HAS’s efforts to find an alternative airline partner. From there, after almost a decade of a perfect payment history, the road to HAS’s destruction was short and painful.

The Jewish Press requested El Al’s comment on Dobuler’s lawsuit and received the following e-mail statement (translated from Hebrew):

“The claim was received by El Al, which will relate to it in the appropriate courts.

“It should be noted that El Al and HAS Corporation indeed collaborated in the past in connection with the purchase of frequent flyer points (the Matmid Club), but the cooperation was violated unilaterally by HAS, which still owes El Al about $2 million, which El Al is endeavoring to collect. Since then, HAS has been in default and, unfortunately, it seems that HAS finally realized that ‘the success story of its marketing’ was unsuccessful, and is now trying, with the assistance of an investment fund and other investors, to create a ‘success’ marketing story of a different variety—on the legal side, which, no doubt, will also turn out to be a failure.”

Originally published in The Jewish Press, November 19, 2015.

Jean and Eugen Gluck

Gov. Mike Huckabee

By Larry Gordon

It’s that time of year, here in New York anyway. Our calendars are jammed with dinner events that are often the primary fundraising functions for a broad variety of worthy causes.

Some are filled with drama and spellbinding presentations by star speakers. Others feature fewer distractions and deal more with the business and substance of the cause at hand. More than a few of these galas took place recently or are coming up in the next few weeks so we obviously cannot cover all of them. Let’s take a look at a few.

One of the high points of this dinner season is the benefit event for the community and yeshiva at Bet El, just outside of Jerusalem. On December 6, close to 1,500 people will be setting aside their usual routine on Sunday night—the first night of Chanukah—to attend the Bet El affair at the Marriott Marquis Hotel in Times Square.

Often, these dinners are personality-driven—that means there are a few personalities around whom the event and sometimes the entire organization and effort revolve.

And this is especially true of the annual Bet El event, which has been the prized project of Jean and Eugen Gluck of Queens. The Glucks are well known for their philanthropy and exuberant personalities that energize people and illuminate any room in which they are present.

The other Bet El moving force from the other side of the U.S.–Israel equation is Yaakov Katz, former member of Knesset, former government deputy minister under Ariel Sharon, and a man who has given his all to build Eretz Yisrael. “Ketzele” has a great vision that has resulted in the growth of Bet El to the point where today it is a city with a population of over 10,000.

Together, Mr. Gluck and Mr. Katz are an unstoppable combination responsible for so much good both here and in Israel. They share an unquenchable desire to build and secure the cities and people of Eretz Yisrael.

Additionally interesting will be the keynote speaker at the Bet El dinner. Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is a great friend of Israel and the Jewish community. His clarity on the issues is refreshing in a world where politics serves primarily to obscure and confuse. The former Arkansas governor has made scores of trips to Israel. We might suspect other politicians go to Israel because they have a political need to do so. That is not the case with Mike Huckabee.

In the summer of 2014, just before the breakout of the Gaza war, we had a chance to spend a few days traveling around Israel with Mr. Huckabee. Also traveling with us were Karen and Joe Frager, as well as Mort Klein of the ZOA and a few others. I suppose you can call it an activist mission of sorts. We walked through Jerusalem’s Muslim Quarter, prayed at the Kotel, walked through the Mount of Olives, and visited Hebron and Bethlehem. These are spots in Israel that most seeking elected office would think twice about traveling to in order not to tip over in some political balancing act. But that is not the case with Governor Huckabee.

Huckabee exudes a warmth and closeness to the Jewish community and the people of Israel. He has spoken at Bet El dinners in the past and always receives a rousing ovation. It is an event to look forward to.

• • •

Amb. Danny Danon

Shalom Jacobs, Larry Gordon, Rabbi Zalman Wolowik, and Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks at the NCFJE 75th Diamond Jubilee Awards Dinner at Chelsea Piers in New York on Sunday

Morton Klein

Moishe Hellman

So let’s explore a couple of dinners that we attended this Sunday evening in Manhattan. The first was the annual benefit for Ohel, the group that is well known for a myriad of programs focusing on the underprivileged and the developmentally challenged. The event took place in the grand ballroom of the Marriott—the same venue in which the Bet El dinner will take place.

The room was set up beautifully and there was a twist to the fashion in which these dinners are usually conducted. For a change—I’m not sure it was the first time—the entire dinner was a buffet, followed by the program and speeches. This is contrasted with the way it used to be—a full smorgasbord followed by a full dinner. Somewhere along the line, someone came to the realization that most people cannot eat so much food over a three- or four-hour period.

And I understand that the Bet El dinner will be following the same format. It is an efficient way to do things. In the past, I’ve noticed that when a full main course is served, after the program is concluded, about half of the ballroom empties out with the full plates sitting on the tables just waiting to be thrown in the garbage. By the time dessert is served, the room is frequently three-fourths empty and that just adds up to a big waste of food and a huge waste of money.

The Ohel dinner was a tribute to the great leadership of longtime co-president Moshe Hellman. He has led and been intimately involved in an extraordinary organization that has redefined the character and meaning of what it means to care. Ohel’s reach is extensive; it’s a safety net for thousands facing obstacles and difficulties in a challenging and perplexing world. There are few issues that afflict a family that Ohel staff cannot on some level ameliorate. It’s no wonder that the main ballroom at the Marriott this last Sunday was overflowing with people who wanted to be there to demonstrate their support—both materially and in terms of morale—for the Ohel organization.

Midway through the program, we scooted out of the Marriott for a not-so-quick taxi ride over to the Grand Hyatt Hotel to participate in the tribute dinner of the Zionist Organization of America. It was quite a change of pace compared to the Ohel dinner as the focus was on a different facet of Jewish life.

ZOA is about activism and speaking out for the rights of Jews and Israel. In the 90 minutes we were there, we heard from ZOA director Mort Klein, leading philanthropist Sheldon Adelson, actor Jon Voight, Israeli Ambassador to the U.S. Ron Dermer, and the newly appointed Israeli Ambassador to the UN, Danny Danon.

They all spoke eloquently and forcefully about the current situation in Israel. There is hardly a time when Israel is not facing one kind of insurmountable challenge or another these days. Ambassador Dermer spoke about the imperative to fight terror and destroy those groups that dispense these murderous acts that paralyze countries and communities around the globe.

ZOA has spoken out emphatically about the rights of Jews and Israel. They are not passive about things like the double standard of denying Jewish rights in the Jewish homeland while countries seek to accommodate those whose objective is the destruction of Israel.

One of the startling pieces of news was the report by ZOA staffer Susan Tuchman, an attorney on the ZOA staff and head of their Center for Law and Justice. Her address focused on the activities of Palestinian activists on American college campuses. Shockingly, she reported about a group—SJP (Students for Justice in Palestine)—that is extremely active on both the Brooklyn College and the Hunter College campuses, in addition to others around the country.

Tuchman reported that SJP holds demonstrations on the Brooklyn College campus calling for and supporting an intifada which, she said, is just another way of rallying and encouraging the murder of Jews.

The ZOA dinner also featured remarks by former congresswoman Michele Bachmann. The Adelson Award was presented to Mr. Voight, who spoke glowingly about his love for Israel and the Jewish people.

For many of us, dinners are an essential part of our lives. We love and support these organizations that are part of the foundation of Jewish life around these parts.

A few days ago, the vitally important Chai Lifeline dinner took place in the city, and coming up in a couple of weeks is the much-anticipated Yeshiva University Chanukah dinner. Two weeks ago, we attended the dinner to benefit the National Committee for Furtherance of Jewish Education founded by Rabbi JJ Hecht 75 years ago and today ably and efficiently run by his children.

To be honest, I rarely go to two dinners on the same night. But this past Sunday I went to two—Ohel and ZOA—because I was thinking about writing this piece and considered it a part of the research. The food was pretty good, too.

• • •

No one has yet figured out after all these years what to do about those seemingly endless speeches. People are told to speak for five minutes, but they go on for twenty. That’s where the dessert or Viennese table comes into the picture. If the speeches run too long, there are often more people chomping on cake and cookies and drinking coffee outside the ballroom than inside for the second hour of five-minute speeches.

But the dinners can be fun, too. We get to reacquaint with friends we sometimes haven’t seen in years. Depending on which dinner it is, we run into different friends or acquaintances.

And then finally there is the wait for the car in the parking lot. You can see people there who were at the dinner but you did not see either because it was too dark or they were sitting far away from your table.

There is no food in the parking lot, but you can feel free to carry a cup of coffee over to the garage from the hotel. It might be cold and there might be a long line to pay and wait for your car. But there is good news, too. You are on your way home.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

Ezra Schwartz, a’h

By Joseph Frager, MD

When Eli Borochov was shot by a terrorist sniper in Hebron on November 6, the United States embassy did not even acknowledge the fact that a U.S. citizen had nearly been killed by an Arab terrorist. After the family became upset by how the embassy handled events, the embassy indeed did call. It should not have taken so long. It should have been a reflex.

When Ezra Schwartz of Massachusetts was killed on November 19, not a word came from the president. The State Department issued its totally unacceptable cursory moral-equivalence statement on deploring violence on both sides. This is nothing new for this administration. It is par for the course.

When Naftali Frenkel (a U.S. citizen) was kidnapped and murdered on June 30, 2014, I was in Israel with presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee. We were both shocked by the indifference of this administration. Mike Huckabee made sure to visit the Frenkel family.

The president who made sure to invite to the White House an Arab teenager, Ahmed Mohamed, who made a digital clock from a pencil case, has never openly discussed one Jewish American killed or wounded by terrorists in Israel. These are U.S. citizens. The United States of America and the president have a responsibility to do everything in their power to protect U.S. citizens anywhere in the world.

The president should at least acknowledge that he will do what he can. He should at least extend condolences to the family. It is a matter of common decency. He makes no attempt whatsoever. It should not be this way.

Unfortunately, well over a hundred Jewish American citizens have been murdered by Arab terrorists in Israel since the 1970s. I knew many of them or their families personally. I decided that it would be important to list some, at this time, to bring their memories to life. On March 11, 1978, Gail Rubin, the niece of Senator Abraham Ribicoff, was murdered on an Israeli beach by the PLO.

On June 2, 1978, my dear friend and colleague Reuven (Richard) Fishman, a medical student at the University of Maryland, was blown up by the PLO in a bus bombing.

On October 9, 1994, Nachshon Wachsman, age 19, was killed by Hamas.

On April 9, 1995, the daughter of Steven Flatow, Aliza Flatow, was killed while on a Bus in Kfar Darom.

On May 13, 1996, David Boim, age 17, was killed while waiting at a bus stop in Bet El. His brother is a member of the Young Israel of Jamaica Estates.

On April 19, 1998, Dov Driben, a 28-year-old American Israeli farmer was killed.

On October 8, 2000, Rabbi Hillel Lieberman was killed in Elon Moreh on his way to save the Torah scrolls in the Tomb of Joseph.

On May 9, 2001, Kobi Mandell, age 13, of Silver Spring was murdered by Islamic Jihad and Hezbollah.

On May 29, 2001, Sara Blaustein, who had worked closely with me for many years at the American Friends of Ateret Cohanim, was murdered in a drive-by shooting.

On August 9, 2001, Judith Greenbaum of New Jersey and Malka Roth of New York were killed in the Sbarro bombing in Jerusalem.

On Sept. 9, 2003, my colleague Dr. David Applebaum from Cleveland and his daughter Nava were killed in a bombing in a popular restaurant in Jerusalem right before her wedding.

I will now fast-forward to the past two years. On June 30, 2014, Naftali Frenkel was kidnapped and killed.

On November 17, 2014, Rabbi Moshe Twersky, Aryeh Kupinsky, and Rabbi Kalman Zeev Levine were brutally murdered with axes, knives, and guns in a synagogue while at prayer in Har Nof, Jerusalem.

On October 1, 2015, Eitam Henkin and his wife, Na’ama, were killed by Hamas while driving with their children in a car.

On October 13, 2015, Richard Larkin, the cousin of my next-door neighbor, was killed while on a bus in Israel.

I mourn for all who have perished (their memories should be blessed) at the hands of these barbaric and cruel Arab terrorists, who should all be brought to justice. America has to play a much larger role in bringing the murderers of American citizens to justice, no matter where they are in the world.

I have given examples from Israel, but it is universal. There are laws on the books that allow extradition of these murderers of American citizens. The president cannot remain silent. He has to take an active role in protecting U.S. citizens abroad, whether in Paris or Jerusalem. The American embassy has to be more involved and much more responsible and responsive. They cannot act indifferently as they have to date. Much too often, the shedding of blood has been met with utter silence. The leaders of the world, including our president, have to lead.

Jonathan Pollard with his wife, Esther, on Friday after his release from prison

By Larry Gordon

As the Torah and our prophets tell us, the Jewish nation is destined to, or perhaps by design must, live apart from the other nations of the world. That doesn’t sound too bad, actually, when you see what is going on in the rest of the world. Yet apparently the general Jewish desire is to achieve the exact opposite.

This has not been the Jewish objective over the centuries. For hundreds and maybe even thousands of years, Jewish communities were content and even pleased to live apart from their non-Jewish neighbors—a major and important ingredient in our ability to survive as a people.

But then maybe a hundred or so years ago something happened that reversed this trend, and today it is worse than ever. Even more so, one gets a sense that there is some kind of communal guilt about having survived against all odds and even flourishing as a worldwide community that contributes on a global level.

The current spate of terror attacks that has killed over 20 Israelis at this point should be, if nothing else, considered an official rejection of the notion that there is a viability to this idea that Jews or the Jewish nation, Israel, can be dissolved in such a fashion as to blend into the universal backdrop of the community of man.

And it’s difficult to have to write that this rejection is not just something that is signaled to us by the murders, which are tragic and devastating to the families and to all of us.

It is about the world reaction to these wanton and sickening murders. And this extends from the murders of Eitam and Na’ama Henkin in front of their four children a few weeks ago to Ezra Schwartz, the 18-year-old yeshiva student from Sharon, Massachusetts, who was killed last week. And more than anything it is punctuated by the alternate set of rules that have been imposed upon Jonathan Pollard after his release from 30 years in prison last Friday, from the unusual and unprecedented length of his imprisonment to the way he was treated during those three decades of incarceration.

More than anything else, these terrorist acts committed by Palestinian Arabs living free in Israel have, until yesterday, been reacted to with absolute silence, a lack of emotion, and the absence of common human decency on the part of the U.S. government.

The silence has been deafening on a multiplicity of levels. And that is because, as media commentator Glenn Beck says, “Not speaking up about these dastardly acts is speaking up.” The silence speaks volumes. It says clearly what Secretary of State John Kerry said last week about the ability to distinguish between the murders in Paris at the Charlie Hebdo satirical magazine last year and the recent attack at the Bataclan theater. He said those murders of the editors and writers were somewhat “legitimate” and that there was a “rationale” for those murders. But, Kerry said, the killings at the Bataclan theater two weeks ago are inexplicable.

Those remarks were just plain stupid. That’s not a classy characterization, but in simple terms that is what it was. Kerry tried to walk back those remarks, but they were expressed after a thoughtful pause. He can rewind the video, edit it out, explain himself, and apologize. It doesn’t matter; he said it and it’s out there. That’s the way he feels and that is the way President Obama feels.

The administration was at ease in maintaining its position of offering no comment at any level when an American citizen is murdered in Israel. The reason for that? Maybe they feel that there is a rationale or some air of legitimacy if Jews are murdered by Arabs. It’s an awful and disturbing thought, but how else can the eerie silence be explained?

It took an unfortunate jolt to maneuver the U.S. out of its obdurate determination to comment about terror attacks elsewhere while maintaining silence on attacks of that nature in Israel and against Jews. But that’s what it took—a massive terror attack in Paris and then another in Mali a few days later.

And this is really nothing new. Just take a look beneath the surface at how the U.S.—and most notably this U.S. administration—has been handling the release of former spy Jonathon Pollard. A further reading of the latest news indicates the administration is just as determined to apply onerous conditions to his release as it did to his three-decade imprisonment. Despite all those times that Prime Minister Netanyahu and others requested that the U.S. free Mr. Pollard, until last week the president took no action whatsoever. Pollard was a nonentity. Not even a subject that deserved comment. There was silence not dissimilar to the silence from the U.S. when Ezra Schwartz, an American kid, was killed last week by Palestinians in Gush Etzion.

On Monday, after intense pressure from right-thinking people and most likely the U.S. Ambassador to Israel, Dan Shapiro, Secretary Kerry phoned the Schwartz family in Massachusetts. It was an important and proper gesture. But even though it was just four days since the murder, there was a sense that this was not really about expressing condolences as much as it was about being ashamed and humiliated by their inactions.

At a ceremony Saturday night in Israel, as Ezra’s body was being shipped back to the U.S., a spokesman for the ambassador said that he was there “to express the sorrow, pain, and anger at this act of terror,” and “we condemn this with all our strength.”

Frankly, I have to say that I am really not sure what those words mean. Condemning these types of savage killings with or without all of one’s strength is essentially meaningless. These are empty diplomatic expressions that are devoid of substance. Their lateness just exacerbates the matter.

On Monday, Secretary Kerry was trying to make amends for his and the administration’s insensitivity. Of the shooting death of young Ezra Schwartz, the secretary said, “It happens almost every day over there and it’s terrible, and too many Israelis have been killed and too many Palestinians.”

Kerry is trying, but there is a problem with that statement. And it is obvious—and should be obvious to John Kerry—what that issue is. The Palestinians being killed have perpetrated a murder or had attempted to kill someone. They were killed in self-defense while on a mad spree to murder. The Palestinian deaths are justified. The Jewish deaths are not. Kerry knows that, as does Mr. Obama; they just can’t bring themselves to say as much.

Ezra Schwartz and so many others who have been murdered over the years did not have to die. These deaths are the punctuation at the end of political statements that are mostly corrupt and dishonest. At the same time, had there been any honesty in the process, Pollard would have been out of prison 20 years ago and residing in Israel today. One cannot help thinking about the time that Mr. Pollard’s father lay dying in Indiana, harboring the hope of seeing his son one more time before he passed away. All that was required was presidential intervention and the granting of a 24-hour furlough to see his dad and to attend the funeral. President Obama refused to act.

Now, at least—though it is after 30 years—Mr. Pollard has another chance at life. Ezra Schwartz, sadly, does not. May his family be comforted in their loss amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

By Mordechai Schmutter

We have all this technology nowadays, and we wonder, “What did they do before this stuff was invented?”

They used animals. You wanted an alarm clock, you bought a rooster. You wanted to keep your milk fresh, you bought a cow. You wanted to communicate over long distances, you realized that you don’t know anyone over long distances, because you do most of your traveling by donkey, and there’s only so long you’re willing to sit on a donkey that’s walking three miles an hour because he’s schlepping all your worldly belongings. Why did your wife have to pack so many sheep?

Nowadays, what do we use animals for? We eat them. That’s it. Is that why we’re so fat? And what about the animals we don’t eat? Are they going to stop existing because we have no use for them?

I doubt it. Turns out there are lots of news stories of people using animals in new ways.

For example, a hospital in Chicago recently started using horses as therapy in the children’s ward. They were miniature horses, of course, because it’s a hospital. But this is a relatively new use. I don’t think they used horses for therapy in the old days. Though if you think about it, back then everyone had horses, and no one needed therapy! Though Pharaoh could have used some. Despite all his horses.

And maybe one day horses will be licensed to offer, say, psychological therapy. You can go lie down on a couch and talk about your problems while a horse sits behind you and doodles on a pad.

“Mr. Schmutter, Dr. Soos will see you now.”

(Official motto: “I will heal your neshamah as well as your guf; and prescribe you some pills that I crush with my hoof.”)

Also, the city of Paris has hired several sheep to mow the lawns around various landmarks. They cost less than a machine, and you don’t have to feed them, because they eat the grass. Also, sheep are much quieter than a lawn mower. Your neighbor’s not waking you up on Sunday morning with his sheep.

“Baa . . . Baa . . .”

“Can you keep it down out there? It’s ten in the morning!”

Dogs can be useful too. A couple of months ago, a man in Russia had to run into a store, and he left his small Siberian husky in the car.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that the dog started the car. But this guy took the keys with him. He wasn’t totally stupid.

So the dog hotwired it.

According to witnesses, the puppy started racing around the front seat and managed to pull the wires leading to the ignition. The puppy then steered the car in a small semicircle and crashed into a Mercedes.

I, for one, am impressed. Turns out most Russian dogs are competent in basic auto mechanics.

Anyway, the police came by, and they thought it was hilarious. Everyone was amused, except the owner of the Mercedes.

My point, though, is that dogs can drive. They just can’t reach the brakes.

Then there’s the artist in Holland who found a use for a cat, which is good, because not everyone who has a cat has a use for a cat. People might want cats for companionship, but people are for companionship. The cat is just looking to get out.

Anyway, the cat died. So instead of doing what most people do, which is attempt to flush it down the toilet, he did the next logical thing, which is turn it into a remote-controlled helicopter. He stuck in some mechanism, attached a rotor to each of its legs, and now it will be terrifying kids for years to come.

I think it’s impressive, though, because I’ve bought my kids some remote-controlled helicopters, and all of them were apparently single-use. The first time we used one, it hit the ceiling, landed upside down, the rotor got tangled in the carpet fibers, and the microscopic plastic piece that holds the entire toy together was niftar from the stress.

But the good news is that when this helicopter plummets down to the ground, it won’t land upside down. Because it’s a cat. At least in theory.

We should try this with other animals. It would be great for steering your sheep when they’re mowing lawns.

There are also lots of uses for animals in zoos. For example, one zoo in the Philippines offers a brand new way to relax: massages!

Apparently people are showing up at the zoo all tense. They don’t have time for this. “Why are all these families in the way? You have to look at every animal? Nothing’s happening in there! Stop rubbernecking!”

So now they’re offering something called “snake massages.” They put four giant pythons on you while you lie there and think about your life choices.

Before you freak out, I should remind you that pythons are not poisonous. They’re just really big and can swallow you in one bite. And there are four of them. And together, they weigh 550 pounds, so you’re not going anywhere.

I can relate. Sometimes when my back hurts, I lie on the floor and my kids stand on my back. They all stand on my back, and then they spend the whole time pushing each other off, and I have to keep yelling, “Stop it!” and they can’t really hear me, because my face is pressed into the ground. So that’s relaxing.

But you can’t really yell at the snakes, because you’re afraid to open your mouth.

Also they say not to scream. The snakes hate that. Rule #2 is, don’t blow air at them. So in other words, don’t breathe. Not that you can.

But it definitely works. When they take the pythons off, you’re more relaxed than when they put the pythons on. It’s kind of like the theory where you put a bunch of animals in your house, one at a time, and then when you take them out, the house is roomier. Which is another use for animals nowadays.

I don’t know who decided that four snakes is the right amount. Maybe if they use one snake, he thinks they’re feeding him. But if you have four snakes writhing around, they lose their coordination.

“I’d like to wrap around him. Is this my tail or yours?”

Speaking of zoos, there was a story about a zoo in China, which one day found itself without a lion. They had a lion cage, but the lion was away on business. Or maybe it died. And rather than turning it into a helicopter and terrifying the kids, they decided to get it replaced. So they took a dog, put it in a sheitel, and stuck it in the cage.

Actually, it didn’t even need a sheitel. The dog was a Tibetan Mastiff, which already kind of has a mane like a lion, so who’s gonna know? Besides for kids, who are experts in zoology.

So the dog was sitting in the lion enclosure, pondering its life choices, and suddenly kids started showing up. And he was happy to see them, so he barked.

And the kids are like, “Look! Lions bark!”

Apparently, someone forgot to tell the dog he was supposed to be a lion. Dog education in China is way behind Russia.

This wasn’t the only switch they tried to pull. Visitors also found a dog in the wolf den. It reminds me of the joke about the guy who needs a job, so he goes to the zoo, and they say, “We don’t really have any positions, but our gorilla just died, and gorillas are expensive. How about you put on a gorilla costume, hang out in the cage, and pretend to be a gorilla?”

So he agrees. He comes in every day before the zoo opens, puts on his costume, and spends all day eating bananas and swinging around. Not a bad job.

Then, one day, he accidentally swings out a little too far and lands in the lion enclosure. And the lion gets up and starts coming toward him. So he yells, “Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad!”

And the lion goes, “Quiet! You’re gonna get us all fired!”

You think the zoo that you go to doesn’t do this? What are the chances that every time you go, half the animals are sleeping inside logs at the back of the cage? You think there are animals back there? You’ve been to that zoo 5,000 times, and you have not once seen the fox. It escaped, obviously. Foxes are smart. These animals can’t hang out in zoos all day. They have things to do.

Mordechai Schmutter is a weekly humor columnist for Hamodia and is the author of four books, published by Israel Book Shop. He also does freelance writing for hire. You can send any questions, comments, or ideas to MSchmutter@gmail.com.

By Five Towns Marriage Initiative

This week’s parashah describes how Yaakov wanted to sit in peace, but then the incident with Yosef suddenly took place. The commentators ask what it means that a tzaddik should want to sit in peace. A tzaddik’s role in life is all about serving Hashem, so everything that brings him to that goal should bring him a feeling of contentment.

R’ Moshe Feinstein explains that the intention of Yaakov to sit in peace, to relax, was that he thought he could take a more relaxed approach towards the raising of his sons, as he could tell that they were all serving Hashem and following the right path. The incident with Yosef and his brothers, in which Yosef ultimately was sold into slavery, taught Yaakov that even his sons, who were great and righteous, needed parental supervision, rebuke, and guidance.

Parenting is a dual responsibility. A large part of a couple’s married life can be spent navigating the waters of child-rearing. This, like all aspects of marriage, needs to be done by both parents as a unit. There needs to be a give-and-take between the couple so that both are on the same page, with a unified approach toward raising the children.

It’s also important to recognize that, while child-raising is an important component of marriage, it is not all there is to it. If the couple only knows how to discuss the children’s antics and iron out the issues that come up with the kids, there won’t be much essence to the marriage relationship itself. It’s important for both spouses to continue to carve out time—even when life is busy with the children—to focus on each other.

Talking about what each partner in the marriage enjoys, discussing the hopes and dreams of each spouse—without reference to the children—is a way to accomplish this. By taking time to focus on each other and spending quality time alone together without the children’s presence, there will be substance to the marriage that will enable it to withstand the travails of time and to stay strong even after all the children are married and have started households of their own.

Five Towns Marriage Initiative provides educational programs, workshops, and referrals to top marriage therapists. FTMI will help offset counseling costs when necessary and also runs an anonymous shalom bayis hotline for the entire community Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings, 10:00–11:00 p.m. For the hotline or for more information, call 516-430-5280 or e‑mail dsgarry@msn.com.

By Yael N. Ehrenpreis Meyer

Just another night at a base near Jerusalem. Khaki-clad young men stifle yawns as they return from day tours of duty at watchtowers, bus stops, train stations, and highway patrols. Young women, several attired in the uniform of the IDF educational corps, gather for a late-evening meeting. The burden of their infinite mission weighs heavily—but these are eighteen-to-twenty-somethings, and so these hundreds of soldiers look to each other for some way to lighten the mood and enjoy a few hours of “off time.” They haven’t had much luck with this new “mission,” when in the corner of the sprawling base, suddenly . . . a spark of light, the smell of burning charcoal, the sight of unfamiliar figures chattering in English while chopping never-ending rows of onions catches their attention.

In the midst of the current wave of terror, the mostly secular volunteers of Tzevet Paamon (the Paamon Team) were busy going from checkpoint to outpost to watchtower, handing out snacks and support to soldiers on alert. Paamon was founded to memorialize Major Chaggai Bibi, a man who was “the epitome of giving,” in the words of his best friend, Amit Amar, who has dedicated his time to trying to fill in the gap of what was lost that day 12 years ago when Chaggai was killed in the line of duty.

Yossi Goldberger, too, is a known figure on Israel’s “giving scene.” Hearing about Paamon’s initiative on a local secular radio station, he became determined to expand it to an even larger scale. Goldberger turned to his partner-in-giving on the other side of the Atlantic, Rabbi Pesach Lerner, executive president emeritus of the National Council of Young Israel. As co-chair of the American Friends of the International Young Israel Movement, Israel Region, which contributes to the physical and spiritual welfare of the IDF, Rabbi Lerner is all-too-familiar with the challenges that Israel’s soldiers face on a regular basis. Looking through the prism of his experience, Rabbi Lerner saw this plan as a perfect way to give the North American Orthodox community the privilege of expressing hakarat ha’tov for the boundless devotion of the young men and women in the IDF.

Rabbi Lerner and Yossi Goldberger told Amit, “Give the soldiers a barbecue—with all the extras! Let them know we care about them. We will take responsibility for the cost.” Rabbi Lerner made a few phone calls to guarantee the first few barbecues. He was interviewed on the Nachum Segal Metro New York Jewish radio program, he sent out a mass e-mail—and the Jewish people responded.

November 18, 2015: All of these “ingredients” came together on a dark and windy night at a central IDF base in Har Gilo, just south of Jerusalem, the third event organized by this new international coalition, Chareidim L’ma’an HaChayalim—Orthodox Jews in Support of Israel’s Soldiers. Long tables are laid out and, in assembly-line style, thousands of round rolls are being smeared with chummus, ketchup, mustard, or mayonnaise, stuffed with lettuce, tomato, and onions, and then topped with a perfectly grilled pièce de résistance for a sandwich that is an expression of love and appreciation. The young soldiers—like hungry teenagers the world over—can’t wait to eat these delicious “expressions.” One young corporal promptly wheedles himself a second sandwich; one young military officer has brought her own “security,” a stuffed bear sticking out of her backpack, to join her for a barbecue dinner. (“The older you get,” one volunteer comments, “the more you realize that all of these thousands of soldiers are really just 18–21-year-old kids who should still be at home with their mothers, not out on the frontlines of every danger zone.”) They ask, through the crunch of fresh lettuce, “Who is funding this barbecue and the new weekly barbecues that are now the buzz throughout the army? Tonight’s event is the third in just three weeks.” They are told, “Chareidim she’b’chutz la’aretz she’ichpat la’hem—Orthodox Jews outside of Israel who care, who appreciate your military service and want to say thank you.” Their reactions range from mere surprise to complete astonishment. An act of hakarat ha’tov, of appreciation, has turned into a massive kiddush Hashem.

Despite the chill in the air, the atmosphere is warm—and not just from the smoke-filled barbecues. A potpourri of the Orthodox world, volunteers spanning the generations and the vastness of the North American continent, never pause from their chopping and stuffing even as they explain what brings them here, on this night, for this cause.

Naomi and Marc Gross live in Lawrence, a community that radiates always as a beacon of generosity on the global chesed map. They heard about the new “acknowledge the chayalim” enterprise on Nachum Segal’s JM in the AM show. “Marc is a caterer,” his wife launches into their story without missing a beat in her vegetable-chopping mission, “so this immediately jumped out as a way to say ‘thank you’ in our very own field of expertise.” Their next step was to call their neighbor, Rabbi Pesach Lerner, and let him know that they wanted to sponsor a barbecue on their upcoming trip to Israel. “And here we are chopping tomatoes and onions,” Naomi concludes her story.

Her hungry listeners certainly couldn’t be happier about that happy ending. “Take note,” Marc jumps in for the final word, pointing out to both the soldiers on line for hamburgers as well as his unseen Skype audience, “that my wife insists on slicing every tomato perfectly—all 700 or so of them.”

“The Gross family,” adds Rabbi Lerner, “exemplifies the motivation of our growing network of supporters, the individuals, families, and entire shuls who see their commitment to Torah ideals as the ethical and moral imperative for demonstrating hakaratha’tov and creating a Kiddush Hashem through the IDF BBQ campaign.”

On the subject of ethical imperatives, it is only during their non-stop chopping and serving that the supporters of tonight’s barbecue learn just what a critical role the Har Gilo base plays in providing character education for the entire IDF.

Reut is the kind of vivacious young woman you’d want as your child’s teacher. She is serving an important role as an educator, but since this is Israel, this 20-year-old is teaching in the context of her army service. Reut explains to everyone, in enthusiastic albeit slightly error-prone English, the concept of “Education Week.” Whether from Golani, Nahal, Givati, or another infantry corps, or a member of the armored, artillery, or combat engineering corps of the ground forces, every combat soldier from the entire country spends a week at one of only two bases in the country (the other is in Latrun), for an intense seminar exploring their Jewish and Israeli identity, recounting the tradition of the IDF and its military history, and learning about the principles and obligations incumbent upon those serving in the world’s most ethical army. And the fact that these new recruits are experiencing love from North American Orthodox Jews represents a perfect addition to their “Education Week” lessons. “In short,” Reut summarizes, “it is here, to this very base, that all our soldiers come to learn the reasons why they are fighting. Every week a new cohort of 500 chayalim from around the country arrive at Har Gilo.” She adds with a smile, “You could have a never-ending series of barbecues here, recurring festivities for every week’s class of 500 visiting combat soldiers.”

Thanks to the commitment and action of a few community leaders and several generous sponsors to date, thousands of soldiers have already been impacted, their hearts and hunger filled to capacity by the tangible, edible manifestations of gratitude being exported to their bases by the international Torah community.

But surely IDF BBQ should touch every soldier! We need our chayalim to assure our security throughout EretzYisrael—in Jerusalem, Gush Etzion, Chevron, the Golan, up north and down south. So shouldn’t we make sure that IDF BBQ reaches everywhere they do?

Yossi Goldberger is pleased by the rapid pace in which their efforts have been realized. “When someone understands what life is like for our soldiers, they understand immediately that we all need to do this. The chayalim are on duty day and night, Shabbos and yamimtovim, sometimes for weeks on end. Our children sleep well at night because other people’s children—our soldiers—are always on alert. Knowing this, what Torah-observant person isn’t eager to thank the young people who protect EretzYisrael?” Concludes Rabbi Lerner, “Everyone wants to say thank you—all we’ve done is given Orthodox Jews around the world a direct way to embrace our soldiers with expressions of appreciation, to say to each and every one of them, ‘we care’. That is why we are here.”

Show the chayalim you care by sponsoring an IDF barbecue. For more information or to say “thank you” to Israel’s soldiers, visit www. IDFBBQ.org or contact Rabbi Lerner at info@IDFBBQ.org.