I feel like a kid who doesn’t want to come out of the water. It’s so beautiful and idyllic that I just don’t want to leave!

• • •

Back in May, I tagged along on my husband’s business trip to Las Vegas. In typical conscientious fashion, Leib felt that we should book the plane tickets well in advance so we’d know it’s taken care of, and to lock in a good price. I was nervous that we were booking too early and that the flights might be cheaper closer to our departure.

Ever the bargain-hunter, I asked JetBlue what would happen if the flights indeed went down in price. She explained that within a two-week window we would get the full difference in price if it went down, but after that there would be a $75 fee taken out of any possible refund. Two weeks went by, and of course the price did not go down. A week after that, however, the price went down a nice amount, so that even with the $75 fee taken off each ticket, we still had funds to put into a JetBlue account that would be good for a year. Interestingly, from that time until we actually departed to Las Vegas, the flight prices kept going up. I timed it just right. What a coup!

But Leib reminded me that for it to be a real coup, we would have to actually use the funds within the year . . . Going away during the summer was not an option because I work in a summer camp, and when the weather is nice here, I don’t feel a need to fly somewhere with similar weather. But once fall arrives, and we finally need to put on jackets, it’s time to consider heading south.

September and October were busy with yom tov, and December is my busiest month at work. When January arrives, Leib is in tax-season mode until mid-April, and then comes Pesach, Shavuot, and the summer yet again. So November seemed to be our perfect time to get away. But where to go? We have been to Florida relatively recently, and although I would have loved to head west, our JetBlue bank did not allow for a distant destination. The goal was to find a place that was warm enough for swimming, while utilizing our flight funds most efficiently.

Leib had always wanted to visit Hilton Head, South Carolina, and after checking the fares, we fortunately had enough to cover both of us.

Leib did his research and determined that there was an Orthodox shul in Savannah, Congregation Bnai Brith Jacob, so we incorporated a Savannah Shabbos into our itinerary. We made contact through the OU website with a wonderful Savannah family, the Gottliebs. We were welcomed into Lucy Gottlieb’s home and enjoyed Shabbos with Lucy, her son Murray and his wife, Dvora, and Lucy’s son Dr. Jerald Gottlieb and his wife, Sara.

The Gottlieb ancestral family first arrived in Savannah in 1884 and opened a kosher bakery. The bakery is no longer there, but Murray still cooks and bakes and is the kosher caterer for the entire Savannah (check out www.kosherfoodsavannah.com), so suffice it to say that the food was tasty and made with a special Southern flair!

But allow me to back up a bit. The original plan was to be in Savannah Thursday through Sunday, and then to embark on our Hilton Head visit Sunday through Tuesday.

When I noticed that the weather report for the area that Thursday showed 80-degree temperatures, I decided to incorporate a trip to Tybee Beach for Thursday evening. I found that the Hotel Tybee had recently been renovated and was right opposite the beach. After a short two-hour flight, we picked up our rental car and headed towards Tybee Beach. We found a wonderfully tranquil island and a very welcoming hotel. Our beachfront room was just right!

Then we happened upon a bike-rental place right across the street from Hotel Tybee. We hopped on our bikes and ventured a few miles to check out the lighthouse on the island. The ride through the neighborhood was beautiful, and the ride back on the beach was an amazing experience. The sand is packed down enough to make biking possible—something we had never before experienced. Friday morning we rented the bikes yet again and found new paths to explore. Time went by quickly and it was time for us to say goodbye to this beautiful, peaceful spot on earth.

• • •

As I mentioned before, we spent a wonderful Shabbos in a warm and friendly community. Everyone we came in contact with quickly became our friends. Savannah is a lovely place to live—with a close-knit Jewish community where everyone knows your name. The shul itself is across the street from a number of hotels within the eiruv. Saturday night we took a ride to historic Savannah and enjoyed a show at the Historic Savannah Theatre (which first opened in 1818) called Savannah Live. It a lovely musical revue including songs about the South, as well as famous songs that we all know and love.

Sunday arrived and it was time for our official tour of historic Savannah. We had taken a self-guided tour, but I thought it worthwhile to get a more thorough look at the area. So we got a little training and we were ready to go. Training, you ask? Why would we need training for a tour? Perhaps because this one was atop a bike—an electric tandem bike at that. Here are some highlights of our 60-minute tour: We zipped by Congregation Mikve Israel (first organized in 1735 and this structure opened in 1878); took some pictures at the site of the famous bus-stop scene in the film Forrest Gump (there is no actual bus stop there, but we saw the spot where it was placed for the film); and saw a myriad of famous squares and historical houses and buildings. Suffice it to say that despite my “backseat driving” tendencies, we had a good time and learned a bit of Savannah history at the same time.

Our tour of the area (both official and unofficial) came to a close and we were off to our final destination of this jaunt: Hilton Head. With a little help from our trusty GPS, we arrived at the Sonesta Beach Resort—a little bit of heaven! After we settled ourselves in our beautiful room overlooking the lagoon and ocean, and I slipped on my swimming gear, we went to explore the area. The sun had set, but the pool was heated to a warm 80 degrees, so with Leib as my lifeguard, I had a chance to swim some laps. There is something about night swimming that makes me feel even closer to nature.

Monday arrived and it was time for us to do some biking. I think I did more biking on this trip than I have done the entire year that I have owned my bike. Again we had the opportunity to ride along the shore, stopping on occasion to pick up some pretty shells. What does anyone do with the shells they find at the beach? I always have hopes to do something with these keepsakes. Maybe this time I’ll be creative.

Monday afternoon we were out and about again on our bikes—this time for a three-mile excursion on the beautiful bike trails to end up at a place with a taste of home: Starbucks. It is comforting to know that my gold card is accepted in far-off Hilton Head.

• • •

It’s a Tuesday morning and I’m basking in the sun at our luxurious pool, contemplating how I will fit everything into my carry-on luggage. But there is time to think about that later; now I’d like to take in just a bit more of this inviting pool before our vacation comes to a conclusion. v

Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Maidenbaum & Sternberg, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband, Leonard. They have six children—Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea—and a daughter-in-law, Nina. The author welcomes your questions and comments at MothersMusings@gmail.com.

By Rabbi Zev Meir Friedman

Rosh Rambam Mesivta

Some minhagim are of recent origin. Others date back to Chazal. The practice of breaking a glass at a wedding is mentioned in the Talmud (Berachos 31a). We are taught that at the wedding of Rav Ashi’s son, the sages present, witnessing the overly joyous celebration, chose to temper the frivolity and broke a valuable cup to remind those assembled of the Churban Beis HaMikdash.

The message is that our joy can never be complete until the ultimate geulah is realized. There should exist a certain ambivalence in every person which requires us to strike the proper balance between the joy of the situation we find ourselves in and the realization of the bigger picture that takes into account each situation of Jewish suffering on the national level.

Last week, I—and hundreds of others—witnessed this phenomenon firsthand. After landing at Ben-Gurion and picking up the luggage, we headed directly to Binyanei Hauma, the wedding hall where the recently orphaned Sarah Litman was to marry Ariel Beigel in a “national wedding.” Sarah, the kallah, was orphaned when an Arab terrorist murdered her father and brother, Hy’d. We brought with us the hastily arranged wedding gift that the talmidim and their parents put together.

Over $1,000 was raised and put in an envelope along with a note that said, “We share in your pain and wish to share in your simcha. Your father and brother, a’h, inspire us to live as proud Torah Jews. Am Yisrael Chai.”

The mood present was one of resolve and celebration that Jewish life goes on; however, when the glass was broken at the end of the chuppah, its age-old message, though unspoken, was very clear . . .

Aharoni Slansky and Binyamin Menashy at the Beigel wedding

Migdal HaTorah students take part
in siyum Tanach for Ezra Schwartz, a’h

Guest stream into the wedding hall to join the celebration

Shmuel Katz with Zev and Aviva Golombeck at the Beigel wedding

Our Aliyah Chronicle

By Shmuel Katz

A couple of weeks ago, I saw a notice from Sarah Techiya Litman and her fiancé Ariel Beigel, whose wedding was postponed when terrorists killed her father and brother while they were traveling on erev Shabbat to Ariel’s aufruf. To demonstrate that they would not be cowed by terror, this couple invited literally all of Israel to join them in celebrating their wedding, which took place on November 26. As soon as I heard about it, I reached out to my talmidim and organized a group of boys who were thrilled to participate.

The day before the wedding, we heard about a memorial service to be held at Ezra Schwartz’s yeshiva. Open only to gap-year students, it was a special opportunity for the kids in Israel, even those who did not know Ezra, to participate in a service geared to giving them an opportunity to honor Ezra and his passing and focus on their feelings. We immediately added this to our itinerary for the evening as well.

We arrived in Bet Shemesh to find the streets packed with buses from the various yeshivot and seminaries. In fact, we had to get off the bus and walk 10 minutes to reach the yeshiva because the streets were totally impassable. In all, over 1,200 students participated in the memorial, which was extremely moving.

There were several speakers, including former MK Rabbi Dov Lipman, Bet Shemesh’s mayor, and Ezra’s rosh yeshiva, among others, as well as brief video remarks by Prime Minister Netanyahu and a message written by U.S. Ambassador Dan Shapiro. Ezra’s friends and classmates also had a chance to express their feelings and their sorrow. It was certainly a very emotional few hours.

After the speeches, the entire group learned all of Tanach as a z’chut for Ezra’s neshamah (each person had been given a page from the Tanach upon entrance). While this normally would have been meaningful enough, during the memorial service, several people mentioned that shortly before he was killed, Ezra had undertaken to learn all of Tanach on his own. Finishing the learning that Ezra could no longer do was a tremendous inspiration to all the kids (and adults) in attendance.

After the learning, there was a kumzits and the formal siyum on the Tanach. The entire service was emotionally moving and an appropriate way for the kids to deal with the grief and other feelings they were experiencing. We were proud to participate. But we had to leave a few minutes early because we had brought our dancing shoes with us and were ready for the trip to Yerushalayim.

• • •

What a wedding!

We arrived at Binyanei Hauma Convention Center at about 10:15 p.m. The doors were scheduled to open at 10:30, but the place was totally mobbed when we got there. There might have been 5,000 people waiting outside to get in, and the dancing had already started outside before we even got to the front doors. (You can see videos on my YouTube channel: Shmukatz). Od Yishama and Am Yisrael Chai, sung by several hundred pumped-up youth as they all danced in place, is something to see.

In order to prevent a stampede, the security folks processed about 100 people at a time. Everyone else was kept behind barricades. This meant that I spent about 20 minutes being crushed as we approached the end of the line. But I did get in at around 10:40.

The first thing I noticed as I walked in was that they had set up food and drinks in the lobby for all the guests, allowing us all to participate in the seudat mitzvah. I cannot imagine the costs involved, although I do know that money was raised. The next thing I realized was that the number of people already in the hall was so large that the men were in one conference hall and the women in another in order to give everyone enough space to dance.

And dance we did. It was awesome. Several of my talmidim had the chance to dance with the chattan, a memory they will cherish. Even those of us who did not get all the way to the inner circle were swept up in the incredible excitement of the simcha. One of my neighbors later said, “I felt that this must be the kind of simcha we’ll have when Mashiach comes.”

So many people crammed into the hall that it was soon filled to capacity and they denied access to the thousands waiting outside to get in. At one point, the kallah got stuck in a vestibule as she tried to get outside to the crowd. So she climbed on a chair and, as hundreds of women sang Am Yisrael Chai with her, she turned this way and that, gesturing to the crowd to continue singing and celebrate with her. (You cannot see the tears in my eyes, but you can see that video on my YouTube as well.)

When they closed the front doors, they tried announcing on the loudspeakers that people who already had the chance to dance should please leave so others could enter. I left, but apparently not enough people did. So the chattan and kallah came out to the parking lot and danced with the thousands waiting outside. I cannot convey in words how they inspired everyone at this special simcha.

All told, I understand that more than 10,000 people came to celebrate with them. I saw chareidim, chilonim, and everyone in between, dancing in celebration with a very special couple. They brought Am Yisrael together in simcha at a time when we really needed it.

• • •

On a personal note, there was a tragic loss in the Five Towns last week: Rabbi Aryeh Zev Ginzberg and his wife and family lost their daughter. Almost nine years ago, when Goldie and I received the first (and erroneous) notification of her cancer, which told us to expect very little time left together, I wrote a brief note in the paper asking people to daven for Goldie’s recovery.

The very next week, as we were at one of the lowest points of the illness, Rav Ginzberg wrote an unbelievably inspiring article of chizuk to us (see article at http://bit.ly/1Pp4ImX). It is impossible to relate how much inspiration and hope we drew from his message to us. And indeed, within a matter of a few days, things took a dramatic turn for the better. We will never forget how much his words uplifted us and we will always appreciate him for it.

I wish I had similar talents and that there was something I could write to convey comfort to Rabbi Ginzberg and his family, the way he did for me. They, too, have gone מאבל לשמחה, from shivah to celebration of their son’s wedding—may they know only s’machot and berachah from all their children and grandchildren in the future. מן השמים תנחמו.

Shmuel Katz is the executive director of Yeshivat Migdal HaTorah (www.migdalhatorah.org), a new gap-year yeshiva. Shmuel, his wife Goldie, and their six children made aliyah in July 2006. Before making aliyah, he was the executive director of the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can contact him at shmu@migdalhatorah.org.

By Y. Samuels

It’s wonderful to be able to spend time at your parents’ house over Shabbos Chanukah. And with a little advance preparation, it can be a stress-free experience. Here is a checklist of tips and reminders of helpful steps:

1. As soon as your plans are confirmed, remind your mother (or mother-in-law or other host) of any special needs, such as your children’s or spouse’s dietary requirements or preferred type of baby supplies. Better yet, if feasible, offer to bring them yourself.

2. Offer to help. If you live within a reasonable distance, and your teenagers are home for Chanukah vacation, send someone to your mother’s house to help. Make helping Bubby the privilege it really is.

3. Offer to bring some food. You are not looking to impress anyone, so instead of a five-layer dessert that will take you two days to make, ask which of the basics your hostess will appreciate crossing off her list.

4. If you have younger siblings at home, bring something for them. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Stationery, stickers, or Matchbox cars to add to a collection are always appreciated. For a teenager, buy the latest book or bestselling music CD. You are invading their space, and they will be helping with the children. Show that you are grateful for their help.

5. Prepare any menorahs that you will need to take along. Add any candles and wicks to avoid a last-minute scramble to find enough in your parents’ house.

6. Near the menorahs, prepare any special blankets, pacifiers, stuffed animals, or bottles that your children need to help them fall asleep. If there will be other children there, it’s advisable to label the bottles. Leave a note in a prominent place to remind you to take the menorahs and baby paraphernalia!

7. Bathe the kids on Thursday night. Dress them in their Shabbos clothing before leaving your house (unless someone doesn’t travel well). This saves a lot of packing. Leave early enough to allow for traffic. Most parents get nervous if it’s close to the z’man and the children aren’t there yet. Remember, you still have to set up the menorahs.

8. Don’t just pay lip service to “Let me serve the meal.” Get up and show that you are willing and able. Your mother will gratefully sit back and instruct you in the various courses. Even if she does go into the kitchen, it doesn’t mean you are free. Pay special attention to your children’s food preferences. Only a mother can keep track of which kid won’t eat the fish if the salmon touches the gefilte, which one needs her fish bone-dry, and who wants it swimming in sauce.

9. Clean up after yourself. Dispose of used diapers and empty snack bags before they accumulate. Rinse bottles as soon as they are empty. Instruct your children to pick up the toys as soon as they are finished playing with them.

10. Your parents need their well-deserved rest. If your children won’t nap in the afternoon and your parents want to, it’s up to you to keep the children quiet. Take them out of the house, or keep them busy with a quiet game or storybooks. (If your parents don’t have age-appropriate reading material, bring your own.) If you can, try to sweet-talk your younger sibling into watching them so you can rest. Here’s where the above-mentioned gift pays off. Have some special nosh for your sibling to dole out. It will make him or her more special in their eyes, and they’ll be more amenable to being watched by someone other than you.

11. After Shabbos, ask your mother how she wants the linen. I prefer that my guests strip the beds and cover the bare beds with the spreads. The room looks neat until the linen gets washed and replaced. Try not to leave anything behind.

12. Appreciate your parents’ hospitality and cherish the time spent with them. Thank Hashem for the wonderful opportunity and utter a tefillah for arichusyamim for your parents. May you always derive nachas from each other.

Rabbi Nison Gordon, z’l

By Larry Gordon

It was a nontraditional gathering. Just the four of us at my mom’s house in Brooklyn on Thanksgiving to celebrate her birthday. No turkey or the fixings that usually accompany that tasty bird.

Instead we dined on the foods that my mother enjoys—salad, sushi, and pizza. We sat around the same dining-room table we used to sit at as kids and young adults only on yamim tovim. One of my brothers leaned over to ask whether I remember the last time we ate pizza around this table. I did not recall, so I asked him to remind me.

He said that it was on Sunday night of Chanukah, 1989. It was an unofficial and impromptu get-together of our then-young families, with pizza and possibly french fries being served. At the time, my mom was busy in the kitchen frying potato latkes, as would be expected.

This was three days before my father would have a fatal heart attack in the early hours of Thursday morning and we would be on our way to Israel for his burial, which took place on erev Shabbos Chanukah in Bet Shemesh. This is the time of year when I usually attempt to take stock and analyze my psyche as it relates to those events of a quarter-century ago and how it still impacts on me today.

So there are a few things that I am dealing with today that I do not mind sharing with you. First is the passage of these 26 years. I have a picture of my parents in my office. It is a photo that was taken at my nephew’s barmitzvah a few months before my father passed away. He was 71 years old at the time, robust, intelligent, and active. In some ways, he was at the pinnacle of his writing career, and after decades in the combined journalistic, advertising, and public-relations aspect of Jewish life, I suspect he might have been ready to settle back and devote more time to reflecting on the past, perhaps traveling a bit more and writing.

So I occasionally gaze at this photo which sits atop a low bookcase off to the left of my desk, and wonder what happened. Lately, I have been feeling a closeness punctuated by a distance. It’s not my father’s distance from me; I actually feel as close to him as ever. It is this amount of time, these 26 years, that I am grappling with and trying in vain to grasp in any way I can.

My father requested that at least one of his children visit his kever on that Bet Shemesh mountain on or around his yahrzeit. This year, the sixth day of Chanukah occurs on Shabbos but I will not be there. My sister and brother-in-law will be there, and my wife and I plan on going a few weeks later. Over the years, the observance of the yahrzeit, highlighted by the recitation of Kaddish, in the land of my father as well as the land of our fathers, has been especially meaningful when it falls on a Shabbos.

Twenty-six years ago, we arrived in Eretz Yisrael on a Friday morning around 10 a.m. Because Shabbos Chanukah would begin before 4 p.m., everything was fast-tracked. We were back in our Jerusalem hotel room learning how to adapt to being new mourners before 1 p.m.

The Chanukah of 26 years ago was something extraordinary. Where we had been punched in our emotional solar plexus, Shabbos restored us and breathed new life into us. We were there to deal with our father’s death, but all around us, everything came to life. Torch-lit menorahs brightened up the Friday-night sky as people streamed in from all around the world to be in Jerusalem on Shabbos Chanukah. It was festive and energetic; it was celebratory, and everyone looked giddy and joyful. But we were getting ready to say Kaddish for the first time.

Until that point, I had not been in Israel for ten years. I regret that, but the kids were young, work was demanding, the pressure somewhat intense. I’ve hopefully made up for that. I believe that my father understood that his kids would be weighed down by the pressures of life and would not be able to squeeze Israel onto the familial agenda unless he did something drastic.

And that was departing from what was the norm—at least in his family—and buying burial sites in Israel. The move was surprising to many. His parents were buried in Queens and later one of his brothers and sister were buried there, too, near the kever of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. But not my father. He once told me in reference to this choice that he did not mind living his life on American soil, but he did not want to be laid to rest in American soil. So Eretz Yisrael it was.

I feel that because the levayah took place on a Friday and we moved directly into Shabbos, that must be one of the reasons why I am so focused and in a way a little extra excited, if you can call it that, when the yahrzeit falls on Shabbos. I will never forget that Shabbos in late December 1989 when, after a long, difficult, and restless night, my brother and I walked to the Old City to begin our year of saying Kaddish.

It was a spectacular, warm Shabbos morning. We were not sure of the direction to walk in. We spotted a guy who looked like he was headed there and we just joined up with him and that is where he took us. It had been so long that we were not even aware that we were getting close. We walked through the shuk, made a right turn, then a left, and there we were with the Kotel staring directly at us as we stood atop a long staircase.

It was moving. So this is what it was all about. Suddenly, in my dejected state, it struck me that this may have been the plan all along—to get us here and give us a taste of that which our father had so craved, dreamed of, and been attached to.

For many years—especially when my children were young—as difficult as it was, I pulled myself out of the house on Chanukah after the fourth candle was lit, went to the airport for that trip to Israel, stood at my father’s graveside, and led services at the Kotel for Ma’ariv, Shacharis, and then Minchah. That was his specific request and I was determined to fulfill it to the best of my ability. There were a few times when we took all the kids with us, then over the years we mostly traveled alone, just my wife and I.

But it was always an imposition and challenge to some extent. For so many years, Chanukah for me was just four days and then off we go. As the kids got a little older, it became more manageable. But then with the introduction of grandchildren into the mix, the psychological pressure increased to the point where I could no longer rationalize being apart from my grandchildren on Chanukah. So about three years ago, I stood at my dad’s kever and explained to him that I was going to take the initiative and move his yahrzeit up a week or so. No, I wasn’t going to change the date on which to say Kaddish to accommodate my own needs. Of course I would say Kaddish on his yahrzeit wherever I would be, but rather I was just moving up the date on which I would be visiting his kever.

As it turns out, for the last decade or so we have been traveling to Israel in the winter and summer, and my first stop is usually that mountain in Bet Shemesh. So I’ve figured maybe I had accrued some visitation credits. But what I really sought was acknowledgment and authorization to spend Chanukah at home and then come to visit a few days later. I know he understands.

So here I am at the cusp of the 26th yahrzeit for R’ Nison ben R’ Yochanan, z’l. And I’m wondering not just where the time went. Because though it is more than two and a half decades—which should be representative of a great distance—somehow all that time has been folded into feeling like just a few hours. I look at his picture and wonder if that is the man I knew. It is so long. He is so far away in time, but so close to me in my heart.

And that is why I will miss observing the yahrzeit this year on Shabbos Chanukah in Jerusalem. When it occurs on Shabbos, I usually daven at the amud in the Tzemach Tzedek shul on Rechov Chabad in the Old City. That is where my father davened on all those Shabbosos when he spent summers in Israel for almost three decades. After davening, we underwrite a beautiful Kiddush and fabreng l’kavod the yahrzeit, sometimes for a couple of hours.

• • •

So as you can see, my emotional tug-of-war continues unabated. If I’m in Israel, my mind is back here with the family. If I’m here, then my mind is over there. And that is what is so difficult to understand: where do I really belong when that sixth day of Chanukah rolls around?

Perhaps it is this precise uncertainty that is the aim of this entire practice. It seems that I will never be at peace with whatever I decide in any given year.

Then again, it must have been difficult for my dad to make that final decision about being interred in Israel when he knew we were all here and would visit at best twice a year. It was probably that thought process that gave me the strength to pull myself away so many times right in the middle of Chanukah.

Still, there is the matter of the time spanning these last 26 years and its slow but also fleeting nature. My father’s passing feels like it was a long time ago, but also feels like it was only yesterday. May his memory be a blessing, and may his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren be a source of infinite nachas to his neshamah on high.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

Examining 

The Silver Verdict

By 5TJT Staff

Sheldon Silver

Open any newspaper and you will see how far the winds of public opinion have turned against Sheldon Silver. Preet Bharara is hailed as a hero, as all seven counts that his office filed against the former speaker of the New York State Assembly have resulted in guilty verdicts.

Certainly, there is corruption in Albany. But Albany does not have a monopoly on wrongdoing. Often, the very powers that are ensuring our protection from criminals can endanger the carefully developed freedoms that the citizens of our nation enjoy. More and more, we are witnessing a situation where justice has been turned on its head. Our courthouses, prosecutors, and bailiffs have become machines designed to produce convictions and the lucrative funds and penalties that these convictions generate.

Do you remember the Toyota case from last year? Bharara’s U.S. Attorney’s Office charged Toyota with one count of wire fraud for lying to consumers about two safety-related issues in the company’s cars, each of which were alleged to cause unintended acceleration. Under the terms of a deferred-prosecution agreement that Toyota entered into the same day that the information was filed, Toyota agreed to pay a $1.2 billion financial penalty.

That sum is one huge, lucrative pot of gold. And for what? Wire fraud? As our children are wont to say, “Is that, like, a thing?” Did Toyota executives even know they were committing wire fraud?

So, is it true that our criminal justice system has become a conviction machine? Are we experiencing a serious epidemic of government overreach? Should our system of how prosecutors conduct cases be overhauled?

Let’s look at some disturbing aspects of our current system.

•     In our system of justice, FBI agents are completely permitted—indeed, encouraged—to lie to potential underlings, partners, or associates of those that they have chosen to target. They lie to them to pressure them to turn on other people up the totem pole in their corporation or just to go after “bigger fish.” They tell them that they are about to be arrested and that they can only get out of it if they turn in someone else.

•     Our prosecutors have created a culture of the pervasive automatic assumption of guilt, and their every effort is conducted with that in mind.

•     Prosecutors use bullying tactics and carefully timed leaks to the press in order to create extraordinary pressure upon the person they have targeted, or upon someone that they have tapped to bring down the person they have targeted.

•     Prosecutors often creatively interpret laws that the alleged perpetrator was entirely unaware of having violated—wire fraud and mail fraud being two cases in point.

•     Prosecutors carefully court the media and, as a trial progresses, they often provide the interpretation of events that people then read in the papers or watch on television.

Unfortunately, the America of fair play that we grew up in no longer exists.

Prosecutors are no longer imbued with a love of justice; they are just out to win and to do so with a high conviction rate. The system has become a vast, gargantuan poker game, replete with bluffing, posturing, and threatening.

But why would they do that? Why has our system so radically changed since the times of the founding fathers? Prosecutors want the biggest fish they can net. A great, lucrative, powerful position—either in government or in the private sector—awaits prosecutors with a very high conviction rate. That is how and why this strategy of “turning” people has developed.

Our government is essentially engaged in threatening people to get them to testify against others—an act that would be profoundly illegal if it weren’t being done by the government. Think about it. If I were to say to you, “I will burn down your bush, or field, or house unless you testify against your neighbor,” shouldn’t I go to jail for that? And yet this is de rigueur practice in all of these cases that we are reading about.

When people are turned or granted immunity, they often “sing.” But as Alan Dershowitz once noted, “Sometimes these witnesses not only sing, they compose.” The person threatened often has no recourse. If he does not do what he is asked, he will certainly be charged with something. And so, they sing—or compose. Some compose ever so slightly, but enough to get off a bit lighter. And enough to put the other person away. And enough to get the prosecutor a high conviction rate.

Businesses and lives have been destroyed on account of an overzealous prosecutor bent on gaining a high record of conviction. This says nothing of the devastating legal expenses, the time involved in defending oneself needlessly, and the loss of business and opportunity that the pariah status of being targeted by the U.S. Attorney’s office produces. Prosecutors can also be quite creative in what they will charge a target with. We now have such a prodigious set of laws on our books that no one is immune from being guilty of something. This is especially true with anyone involved in the medical field or in any aspect of billing the federal government. They want you to plead guilty to something—even if you are completely innocent.

But is there really such overreach? Just six months ago, Preet Bharara subpoenaed a website that allowed six comments to be posted that were critical of the fact that Ross Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison without parole. The website had to turn over all the information about the comments and then Bharara issued a gag order on the website if they spoke about it. As a June 9 Bloomberg View editorial by Virginia Postrel pointed out, this harassment is just plain stomping on free speech.

In another incident, Devyani Khobragade, the deputy consul general of India in New York, was arrested. Her crime? Bharara accused her of making false statements in the visa application of an Indian woman employed as a housekeeper in her New York home. Bharara ensured that the deputy consul general was kept in custody with hardened drug dealers. The deputy consul general was also degradingly strip-searched. All for making a wrong statement on a visa application—for a housekeeper. Bharara never apologized.

Did The Government
Prove Its Case?

Were Sheldon Silver’s actions wrong? Probably. But did Bharara actually prove any criminal case? He certainly got his convictions, but did he prove the case?

A number of legal experts are claiming that he did not prove any quid pro quo. Silver got referral money for asbestos cases, and he certainly got New York State to fund the anti-cancer research that the Columbia University oncologist in the case was doing, but Bharara did not produce any “smoking gun” of evidence that Silver had actually received “quid pro quo.” Did he get “this” for “that”? If he did, there was no evidence presented. People are just plain sick of Albany-type politics and want to send a message. This was, it seems, conviction through popular sentiment and prosecutorial implication of guilt.

Silver’s defense attorneys asserted in court that no Assembly member can possibly have outside income without running into some form of conflict of interest. Were there conflicts of interest? Of course. This was proven. But although it is distasteful, did this break a law? The law, as it stands in New York State, is only broken if “quid pro quo” is proven.

Silver also had received payment for “no-show” jobs, but they weren’t technically illegal. Currently, New York State allows outside income for state legislators. It may be ugly, but that is the plain truth.

Is there then a possibility that the convictions will be reversed on appeal? That may depend upon whether the appellate judge has the strength of character to reverse convictions that were obtained through little or no actual evidence but rather through strong public sentiment. The judge must look at the actual evidence and ignore the call of the masses crying for the defendant’s head.

Is there actual evidence here? Many, if not most, of those who have labored through the transcripts do not see it. Hopefully, the appellate judge will approach it with honesty and integrity. For if our system of justice has truly been retrograded into a conviction factory that is eventually rubber-stamped by an appeals process just going through the motions, then our system of government is lost—and we are all in trouble.

Senator Marco Rubio

Senator Ted Cruz

By Larry Gordon

We’ve said some harsh things about President Barack Obama in this space over the last few years. And while this might sound like the beginning of an apology, it’s really not. After all, everything is fair in love, war, and politics. This is really about placing the president’s thought process in context, looking forward to the conclusion of his presidency, and the expressed hope that over the short term, we will be able to recover from the damage he has wreaked.

That Mr. Obama has not brought the country down entirely is a tribute to the strength, vision, and fortitude of the United States. One needs to internalize and understand that the president never intended to harm the country; he thought he was hurting us for our own good. Turns out the United States needs leadership, not an ill-mannered babysitter looking to change us or teach us lessons.

America is unique in its resiliency and that is precisely why our future is bright. While the cluttered field of potential future presidents from the Republican perspective is promising, the time has come to whittle down the number of would-be presidents and get down to the business of what Donald Trump calls “Making America great again.”

While the field has been only slightly condensed of late, the odds are looking pretty good that two of the last men standing will be Senators Marco Rubio of Florida and Ted Cruz of Texas.

Both are vigorously courting Jewish voters, particularly in the New York and New Jersey area. Yet, unless a miracle occurs, it is more than likely that Hillary Clinton, running as the Democrat in the presidential race, will win the electoral votes in New York and New Jersey. So why are Rubio and Cruz spending any time at all in this area when the race in November 2016 will be won or lost out there in the heartland? Why is Cruz appearing this week in Englewood, New Jersey? Why over the next six weeks and prior to the start of the primary season is Senator Rubio traveling to Israel with an entourage of Jewish leaders from the New York area?

Just thinking about either of these two men becoming the next president of the United States is refreshing and hopeful on so many levels. But first a few words about President Obama, where he wanted to take us, and why he failed.

The president is not a bad person and he has no evil designs when it comes to Israel or for that matter when it comes down to doing what is right for the country. With all due respect to him, he just has it all wrong. And this is not an attempt at punching holes in his economic or foreign-policy theories. He has had seven years of applying them and bringing them to fruition, and everywhere we turn there is just disappointment and failure. But part of the beauty of the American system is that you can do only so much damage and no more.

The Obama failures are everywhere and impact on our everyday life. It’s not only about not having boots on the ground to fight ISIS, but also about things as mundane as health-insurance companies closing down or disassociating themselves from the losing formulation that has developed as a result of Obamacare. There are higher taxes for some and no taxes for many more than ever before. Then there is this wild idea about confiscating military-type vehicles and equipment from police departments based on the notion that their presence causes greater agitation in already violence-prone crowds. And let’s not forget the philosophy that allows angry crowds to riot and destroy just to get it out of their system. So much for law and order.

Now a few words about our future president. We definitely need someone new; that is abundantly clear. At a recent meeting with Jewish leaders at a law firm in the city, Senator Rubio said that he does not think the U.S. can withstand another four years of Democratic philosophies. He is laying down the gauntlet and clearly saying that in his estimation, Hillary Clinton would be a disaster for the future of America. Senator Rubio also said that this particular event in New York was his most successful fundraising function—generating over $300,000.

Between now and Election Day, Cruz and Rubio will be traveling to Israel for a meeting and photo opportunity with Prime Minister Netanyahu and other leading Israeli officials. Rubio has stated on more than several occasions that the U.S. support for Israel should be unconditional.

When it comes to the Jewish community and those with a Republican-leaning orientation, at this point it seems that Rubio has a slight edge over Senator Cruz. Rubio hails from Florida, the southern tip of which is home to a significant Jewish population. Senator Cruz is from Texas, where there is also an influential Jewish population, albeit a smaller one. But that state does not have the tourist traffic that emanates from the national Jewish community like Florida does.

Both Cruz and Rubio are 44 years old. That might be exactly the right age for either one to enter the White House. They are young and both need to be concerned about election, reelection, and then eventually life after the White House.

That is not the case with Mrs. Clinton. Her presidency would be the last position she would hold in government prior to retirement. It is not a good situation for the U.S. or any of us, its citizens. This country needs a leader now with his or her future on the line. Hillary does not bring that to the table.

Both Cruz and Rubio are impressive. When asked this week whether a Rubio–Cruz ticket was a possibility, an adviser to the Rubio campaign said yes. One can only hope and pray that these men talk amongst themselves and that they understand how critical this election is. Hopefully someone, somewhere, is putting the better good of the country ahead of the personality-driven politics.

Cruz is a wonderful and intelligent candidate. I sat in on a meeting with him at last year’s AIPAC Policy Conference in Washington when he met with the parents of Naftali, Gilad, and Eyal, the Israeli boys who were murdered after being picked up by terrorists. The words of comfort that he offered the parents and the sensitivity that he portrayed were moving and dramatic.

Marco Rubio has a different kind of Jewish momentum going for him. At present, he has the support of one of the wealthiest Jews in South Florida, Norman Braman, who is a former president of the Miami Jewish Federation. Las Vegas mogul Sheldon Adelson is also leaning in the direction of throwing his full and substantial support behind the Rubio candidacy.

At this stage of the game, even though Donald Trump continues to lead the pack, conventional wisdom dictates that the Trump frenzy will run its course, peak, and then begin to wane. At the end of the process, it is looking good for both Senators Cruz and Rubio.

• • •

After President Obama’s comments in Paris this week, it is clearer than ever that there is something odd about his outlook for this country and the world. The president essentially said that climate change—which is what the meetings in Paris were about—is part of the cause for the uptick in terror attacks. When pressed on the subject, Mr. Obama said that just like climate change is a downward-trending type of event, so is terror.

America needs the Republican Party of today to save us from a terribly unfortunate and even embarrassing leadership. Election Day is 11 months away. Let’s hope we can afford the wait.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

Mila, Tali, Ari, and Eli Burman with MK Naftali Bennett

Rabbi Jonathan Gross, Eli Burman, MK Naftali Bennett, Rabbi Mitchell Wohlberg,
and Scott Feltman

By Rabbi Jonathan Gross

Last week, we hosted Naftali Bennett at the Beth Tfiloh Congregation of Baltimore for an extraordinary evening. Over 1,000 people from the community came to Beth Tfiloh to hear this leader of Israel and the Jewish people. The crowd had many young faces, including 250 students from all over North America and Israel being hosted by Beth Tfiloh for the 29th annual Weiner Memorial Basketball Tournament.

Beth Tfiloh partnered with the One Israel Fund to make the event possible, and the night was sponsored by Eli Burman in memory of his father, David Burman, a man who was truly passionate about Israel and the Jewish people. One Israel Fund is dedicated to supporting the welfare and safety of the men, women, and children of Judea and Samaria, as well as rebuilding the lives of the Jewish people impacted by the Gaza evacuation.

The event began with a short video about One Israel Fund’s initiative to purchase lifesaving equipment for civilian volunteers who risk their lives every day to guard and protect the residents of Israeli border cities that are constantly under attack. One Israel Fund executive vice-president Scott Feltman told us how we can learn more about supporting this very worthy cause.

Two student athletes—Gal I., representing our Israeli athletes, and Alyse M., ’17, representing Beth Tfiloh—led us in a recitation of Tehillim on behalf of victims of terror in Israel, America, and around the world. Students Andrew A., Alex R., and Tamar B. introduced Naftali Bennett.

The event format was a conversation with Rabbi Wohlberg, who is not shy about his own political views and would probably describe himself on the political spectrum as being right of center but left of Naftali Bennett. This made for a very interesting conversation. While Rabbi Wohlberg was not hostile like BBC, Al Jazeera, or some of the other news networks, he did not throw any softballs; he asked challenging and sometimes uncomfortable questions.

The topics included American and Israeli politics, the Israel/Palestinian conflict, terror in Israel, and global terror. Minister Bennett has offered his plan for solving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that does not involve a two-state solution. He has said many times that creating another Muslim state in the region, especially one that would be so close to Israel, is a terrible idea. He believes that certain areas in Judea and Samaria should allow for Arab autonomy, but that the entire land that was liberated in 1967 should be annexed and brought under full Israeli sovereignty.

On terror, he says that the popular belief is that terror comes from despair. He disagrees. He says the truth is exactly the opposite. Terror comes from hope. So long as the Arabs can hope to destroy Israel, they will continue to engage in terror with the hope that one day they will be victorious. He says that the only way to defeat terror is to send a message to the terrorists and to any future terrorist that their actions will never bring about the change that they want, and if they engage in terror, Israel will use force and crush them. He referenced his recent op-ed in the Wall Street Journal where he said that the only way to defeat ISIS is with real force, to destroy their hope.

Naftali Bennett is also the minister of education and the minister of Diaspora affairs. In the educational area, he spoke about different sectors of Israeli society, including the secular, the chareidim, and Israeli Arabs. As education minister, he has worked to make sure that Jewish children learn about Judaism. For chareidim, he says that coercion does not work. Statistics have shown that chareidim do not want to be poor. If Israeli society is welcoming to them, young chareidim will integrate into higher education, the workforce, and even the military. However, the number of chareidim who are making these efforts goes down when the government or Israeli society tries to strong-arm them to do so. Minister Bennett feels that they should be nudged and encouraged, but not coerced or compelled. He says that under these conditions, the problems with chareidi unemployment and alienation will resolve themselves.

As for Israeli Arabs, Bennett has a zero-tolerance policy for incitement of any kind in Arab textbooks or classrooms. He says that it has been illegal for a long time for Arabs inside Israel proper to incite against Israel. However, he says that since Oslo, Arab schools in East Jerusalem have indoctrinated Arab children with hatred for Jews and Israel, and the Israeli government has been funding it. He says that he put an end to this, and, for the first time ever, under his administration an Arab principal was fired for inciting Arab students against Israel.

As minister of Diaspora affairs, he spoke about how he believes that Israel is responsible for the physical and spiritual well-being of all Jews, whatever they believe and wherever they are in the world. It was clear that he takes this role very seriously, perhaps because he grew up in America. He told a personal story about his wife, who comes from a secular background. He says that she would never walk into a synagogue in Israel, but when they came to live in New York for a few years they went to a beginner’s Torah-study class at a synagogue on the East Side of Manhattan where they lived. They went together every week and now, back in Israel, his wife is more connected to Judaism. He pointed out how ironic it was that she had to come to America to experience that type of welcoming Judaism. He praised Beth Tfiloh for being a prime example of a synagogue and a school where every Jew is welcome regardless of background or observance. Beth Tfiloh is truly unique, and he said that Israel has a great deal to learn from us.

The event ended with a Q&A session, followed by a moving rendition of Hatikvah led by our beloved Hazzan Avi Albrecht.

Thank-you to One Israel Fund and Eli Burman for a truly incredible evening that brought our community together to hear from an inspiring leader and directed our thoughts and prayers to our brothers and sisters in Israel.

Rabbi Jonathan Gross is a graduate of Yeshiva University and serves on the executive board of the Rabbinical Council of America. He joined the clergy of Beth Tfiloh Congregation in 2014 after serving as the rabbi of Beth Israel Synagogue in Omaha, Nebraska for 10 years.  He is the author of the book Rabbi in the Middle of America: Jewish Stuff from the Chief Rabbi of the State of Nebraska.

By Rochelle Maruch Miller

When Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau speaks, world leaders and heads of state listen. He is respected by Jews and non-Jews the world over, and has gained the trust and admiration of both the Sephardic and Ashkenazic parties. In 2005, Rabbi Lau was awarded the Israel Prize for his lifetime achievements and special contribution to society and the State of Israel.

On April 14, 2011, he was awarded the Legion of Honor, France’s highest accolade, by France’s president, Nicolas Sarkozy, in recognition of his efforts to promote interfaith dialogue.

In Out of the Depths, his riveting and emotionally charged memoir about his experiences in the Holocaust, Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau, former Chief Ashkenazic Rabbi of Israel, relates the turbulent yet hopeful story of his life with unfailing honesty. Beginning with his earliest memories as a child of five thrown into the horrors of the Holocaust to his election to the highest rabbinical post in Israel, Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau chronicles his unlikely survival and success amidst cruelty and unmitigated hardships with eloquence and passion.

A highly sought-after international speaker who mesmerizes his audiences in every venue, Rabbi Lau marks every speech he makes with a commemoration of those who perished in the Holocaust and an exhortation to never forget. As a child-orphan at the tender age of five, he recited Kaddish at a French displaced-persons camp.

Because he is one of Israel’s most recognized Jewish spiritual leaders, Rabbi Lau often meets many leaders of other faiths across the globe who offer pleas of forgiveness. To them, Rabbi Lau extends his appreciation for their apologies, but never forgives. For who is he to forgive, he asks, those who have perpetrated heinous sins against an entire nation.

Czanad Szegedi, a Hungarian far-right politician with strong anti-Semitic overtones, was the deputy leader of the radical nationalist Jobbik party in Hungary. Szegedi cofounded the Hungarian Guard—a paramilitary formation that marched in uniform through Roma neighborhoods. And he blamed the Jews for the ills of Hungarian society, until he found out that he himself was one, and that both of his maternal grandparents were survivors of Auschwitz, a discovery that changed his life forever. Szegedi left his party and set out on a remarkable personal journey to learn about his faith.

As his old personality collapsed, Szegedi performed “radical surgery” on himself, even setting fire to copies of his own biography, I Believe in the Resurrection of the Hungarian Nation. Prior to discovering his Jewish identity, he turned to Rabbi Shlomo Kouves, of the Lubavitcher movement, for help. Szegedi adopted the name Dovid, had a bris milah, began wearing a yarmulke, visited Israel and is a shomer Torah u’mitzvos. Today he lectures about his journey from anti-Semite to Orthodox Jew.

No two narratives could differ more than those of Rabbi Lau and Szegedi. But although their backgrounds are a study of contrasts, each has embarked upon a personal journey that has forever impacted his life. And whether surviving against all odds as a child of the Holocaust, or battling inner demons and experiencing a veritable personality transformation, both men have emerged from their respective journeys steeped in spiritual strength and emunah. What Rabbi Lau and Mr. Szegedi have in common is that each of them is a fascinating speaker with the power to captivate audiences with his compelling story. They are two of the dynamic presenters who will be featured at the second annual Partners in Torah Winter Retreat, which will take place January 8-10 at the Crowne Plaza in Stamford, New Jersey.

Following the success of the inaugural Partners in Torah Winter Retreat, the upcoming event has been generating a great deal of excitement from past participants as well as from prospective participants throughout every segment of North America’s Jewish community.

They came, they celebrated Shabbos, and they created lasting friendships. From near and far, from all across the nation they converged to experience a “perfect Shabbos.” From Albany to Alabama, from Toronto to Tulsa, from Lawrence to Louisiana—Jews from a diversity of backgrounds united as one.

“The Partners in Torah Winter Retreat is really the epitome of ahavasYisrael,” said Heshy Mermelstein of Flatbush. “You see Jews of every stripe. It’s an amazing experience with an outstanding program. Every aspect of the event is perfectly planned: the speakers, the entertainers, the food, and the warmth.”

An accountant by profession, Mr. Mermelstein was inspired to become a Partners in Torah mentor by a friend who was already mentoring. He signed up and began a Torah-learning partnership that would continue for almost 13 years, with Heshy impacting the gentleman’s life until the latter’s passing last year. He has recently requested Partners in Torah to “make a new Torah match” and pair him with a new partner to mentor.

“I already told them to make a reservation for us for the winter retreat,” says Mr. Mermelstein, who will be attending the event with his family. “It’s a great experience—it’s Torah and chesed combined in one package.”

“I was inspired to attend the Partners in Torah Winter Retreat last year after reading Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau’s book,” said Sima Krischer of Lawrence. “When I read that Rabbi Lau would be one of the lecturers, I knew I had to attend. He was incredible, such a powerful speaker; his words were pearls of wisdom. He is such a distinguished person, yet so accessible and gracious. It was a beautiful Shabbos in every way. People came from all different backgrounds and everyone was warm and friendly.” She adds, “I signed up to become a Partners in Torah mentor as a z’chus for my mother, who had passed away. The Partners in Torah partnership is a rewarding experience for both the mentor and the student. The love and respect that was shown to every Jewish person at the winter retreat and the friendly atmosphere was wonderful. We are looking forward to participating again this year.”

Dawn Ackerman and her daughters were also inspired to attend last year’s winter retreat after reading Rabbi Lau’s riveting memoir. “We wanted to hear the speakers, and Rabbi Lau in particular, after purchasing his book,” Dawn says. “Partners in Torah runs a beautiful program, reaching out to people in such special ways. The winter retreat was a very special Shabbos.

In addition to Rabbi Lau and Mr. Szegedi, the Partners In Torah Winter Retreat will feature Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein, Bentzion Klatzko, Rabbi Eli Gewirtz, Charlie Harary, Harry Rothenberg, Lori Polatnick, Esther Wein, and Rabbi Mat and Dr. Brachie Hoffman. Participants will experience the perfect Shabbos as they savor the day’s sanctity and expand their spiritual horizons.

The Partners in Torah Winter Retreat promises to be the Shabbos of which lifetime memories are made. “It’s an opportunity to meet Jews of all backgrounds and make lasting friendships,” said Rabbi Eli Gewirtz, director of Partners in Torah. “The main thing is the feeling of connection to Jews of all backgrounds, from the tiniest tots to the beloved Bubbies and Zaydies. It’s a transformational experience.” Along with the all-star lineup of speakers and gourmet catering by Chap-a-Nosh of Cedarhurst, participants will enjoy top-notch entertainment including 8th Day, the Zemiros Group, and illusionist David Blatt.

Parents can enjoy the retreat program and rest assured that their children will have an equally special experience. A fun, exciting, and highly professional children’s program is staffed by professional youth counselors who will keep children happily engaged all weekend long. Babysitting services will also be provided.

“It’s an opportunity to meet Jews of all backgrounds and make lasting friendships,” said Rabbi Gewirtz. “The main thing is the transformational experience. It creates a genuine feeling of connection to all Jews.”

Partners in Torah offers Jewish adults of all backgrounds all across North America a cost-free opportunity to discover Judaism—its culture, history, and traditions—at their own pace and on their own schedule. Jewish men and women with an interest in acquiring specific skills or who simply want to build on their own base of Jewish knowledge are matched, one-on-one, with a carefully selected, personal Torah trainer or mentor, for up to an hour a week of over-the-phone study and discussion. Partners in Torah has engaged more than 64,000 participants across America.

The Partners in Torah Winter Retreat is a not-to-be-missed event. “You will be inspired to take an interest in a fellow Jew and facilitate their spiritual growth. Someone who saves one person is considered to have saved the whole world. That is what Partners in Torah is all about.”

Political Roundup

Assemblyman Kaminsky Gets Into The Holiday Spirit

Assemblyman Todd Kaminsky attended the menorah-lighting at Green Acres Mall in Valley Stream on Monday, December 7. The assemblyman joined Saul Haimoff, youth director of The Jewish Center of Atlantic Beach as he entertained children for Chanukah. The evening was sponsored by Green Acres Mall.

Earlier in the day, he attended the Irving Place Minyan’s Chanukah Carnival in Woodmere. He also attended many other holiday festivities throughout the area. v

Mangano And Kopel Announce Rockaway Turnpike Restoration

Rockaway Turnpike, in the Inwood/Woodmere area, was resurfaced this week as a part of “Operation Restore Our Roadways.” The Rockaway Turnpike milling and resurfacing project takes place from Peninsula Boulevard to East Avenue.

“Rockaway Turnpike is a main artery for our county, and my administration continuously makes it a priority to restore county roadways for the safety of our residents and communities,” said County Executive Mangano. “This critical road-improvement project will benefit the residents that travel this road every day.”

“It’s thrilling to see the wheels of government turning in ways that positively impact our neighbors’ quality of life while also continuing to improve our infrastructure. Rockaway Turnpike is a roadway with shared jurisdiction between Nassau County and New York City. Thousands of area residents rely on this stretch of roadway in their daily commutes, as well as for shopping and as they go about their lives. I’m very excited that Nassau County is upgrading their part of the thoroughfare; the ball is now in New York City’s court to follow through with their own needed upgrades on Rockaway Boulevard,” said Legislator Howard Kopel. v

OU Applauds U.S. House For Approving Education Bill

The Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America, the nation’s largest Orthodox Jewish umbrella organization, applauded the U.S. House of Representatives for its overwhelming and bipartisan approval of the Every Student Succeeds Act. The House passed the bill by a vote of 359–64. This bill represents the first major reform to the Elementary & Secondary Education Act (ESEA) since 2001, when No Child Left Behind was passed.

“We are very grateful to Chairman John Kline (R-MN) and Ranking Member Bobby Scott (D-VA) of the House Education & Workforce Committee and the many members of both parties in Congress who have led the effort to reform and update the ESEA. Students in private schools across the country are dependent upon the equitable services in this bill, and the Every Student Succeeds Act will help ensure that they receive the services that they deserve—regardless of the school they attend,” said Nathan Diament, executive director for public policy for the Orthodox Union.

The Orthodox Union calls upon the U.S. Senate and on President Obama to follow the House of Representative’s lead to pass, sign into law, and implement this legislation in a timely manner. v

ZOA Concerned:
Trump Refused To State Jerusalem Is Undivided Capital Of Israel

ZOA president Morton A. Klein released the following statement: The Zionist Organization of America (ZOA) is concerned that at the Republican Jewish Coalition (RJC) candidates’ forum, when asked if he acknowledged Jerusalem as the undivided capital of Israel, Donald Trump stated that he will wait until after his upcoming visit with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu before answering. The audience accordingly booed this noncommittal statement. Jerusalem is Jewish people’s holiest city, and has been a majority Jewish city since 1850. Israel has the unquestionable legal, historical, and moral right to its own undivided capital—and that fact is also enshrined into U.S. law. And only under Israeli sovereignty have persons of all faiths been able to worship freely in Jerusalem. v

Jewish Committee
And The Holy See
To Host Nostra Aetate Commemoration At UN

The International Jewish Committee on Interreligious Consultations (IJCIC) and the Permanent Observer Mission of the Holy See to the United Nations will host a commemoration of Nostra Aetate on December 16, 3:00–5:00 p.m. at the United Nations headquarters in the chamber of the Economic and Social Council.

Nostra Aetate is the declaration of the Second Vatican Council on the Catholic Church’s relation to non-Christian religions. Promulgated on October 28, 1965, Nostra Aetate effectively countered centuries of anti-Jewish attitudes and understandings within the Church and inaugurated a new era of Jewish–Catholic relations. It also opened the Church to relations with Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, and others.

Keynote speakers will include Archbishop Bernardito Auza, Permanent Observer of the Holy See to the United Nations; philosopher Bernard Henry Levy; Bishop William Murphy of Rockville Center; and Brian Corbin, a senior vice president at Catholic Charities USA. Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, former chief rabbi of the United Kingdom, will offer a special message.

IJCIC is a coalition of the American Jewish Committee, Anti-Defamation League, B’nai B’rith International, Central Conference of American Rabbis, Israel Jewish Council for Interreligious Relations, Orthodox Union, Rabbinical Assembly, Rabbinical Council of America, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, Union for Reform Judaism, and the World Jewish Congress.

The Permanent Observer Mission of the Holy See to the United Nations is the official representative of the Catholic Church at the United Nations.

Attendance at the conference is free, but those without UN identification must preregister at www.ijcic.org in order to obtain an event pass to enter the UN.

Aliza Goldring and Esther Schonfeld, founding partners of Schonfeld
and Goldring, LLP.

Esther Schonfeld Esq., with Dr. Michael Genovese (center) next to New York State Assemblyman Dov Hikind

Earlier this week, Touro Law School, Jacob D. Fuchsberg Law Center, summa cum laude graduate and former editor-in-chief of Touro Law Review, Esther Schonfeld, Esq., a leading matrimonial and family law attorney, lectured at the second International Conference on “Shedding Light on the Darkness of Abuse” at the Ramada Hotel in Jerusalem.

The conference, the second of its kind, was hosted by TAHEL (The Crisis Center for Religious Women and Children) with the aims of (1) providing in-depth multidisciplinary training, appropriate to a wide range of professional disciplines, community leaders, and parents in the field of abuse and domestic violence; (2) bringing together professionals and non-professionals from all sectors of the Jewish community from all over the world to collaborate, learn, and discuss ways of combating abuse and violence in the community while sharing their knowledge and expertise; and (3) bringing leading experts from Israel and abroad to present the latest research, community programs, and treatment modalities in the field of abuse and trauma.

Among the topics discussed during the three-day event were: “Helping the Jewish Community Deal with Problems of Abuse;” “Sexual Abuse of Children;” “Mandated Reporting and its Dilemmas;” “Treatment of Child Abuse: Halachic Aspects”; “Rape and Sexual Harassment”; “Bullying and Bully Prevention in Schools”; “Building Child Safety Programs in the Religious Community”; “Addiction to Pornography”; “The Role of the Community Bet Din in Protecting the Public”; and “Legal Dilemmas and Solutions With Regard to Abuse.”

“Domestic violence continues to be a prevalent problem in the Jewish community. Refusal to give a get is another form of domestic abuse, and it is the responsibility of our community as a whole to ensure that no party is permitted to chain their spouse to a failed marriage” said Ms. Schonfeld. “Only through our persistence in addressing this monumentally important issue, through open dialogue and support, can we hope to ensure that future generations will not endure the same fate being suffered by many women and men in our society today.”

Last year, at the inaugural conference, Ms. Schonfeld was invited to speak about domestic abuse as it relates to divorce. Specifically, she addressed the devastating crisis of women being left as agunot and the problem of the withholding of a Jewish religious divorce, a “get,” in a divorce action as a form of abuse. Ms. Schonfeld also led a discussion about shocking and cruel behavior exhibited by divorcing parties/parents in the throes of a custody dispute.

This year she was asked to speak about domestic violence and the legal ramifications, as well as laws around the world pertaining to the get. During this year’s conference, Ms. Schonfeld focused on the Get Law in New York, Orders of Protection, legal ramifications of domestic violence on custody, and financial ramifications. She also discussed the history of the justice system’s response to domestic violence in New York, the prosecution and adjudication of domestic-violence cases, and the laws, policies, and practices for domestic-violence cases. Ms. Schonfeld drew upon her years of experience in working with and fighting for agunot and victims of abuse, as well as children who were brought up in abusive households.

Esther Schonfeld is a founding partner of the firm Schonfeld & Goldring, LLP, and formerly a founding partner of Mosery & Schonfeld, PPLC. She was admitted to the New York State Bar in 2000, and has since been admitted to practice in the United States Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit, the United States Court of Federal Claims, the United States Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces, and the Supreme Court of the United States. She is a member of the New York State Bar Association, the Nassau County Bar Association, and the Queens County Bar Association.

Ms. Schonfeld is the author of several legal publications, including: “To Be Or Not To Be A Parent? The Search For A Solution To Custody Disputes Over Frozen Embryos,” 15 Touro Law Review 305 (1998), and “Malicious Prosecution As A Constitutional Tort: Continued Confusion And Uncertainty,” 15 Touro Law Review 1681 (1999). She recently had an article titled “Domestic Abuse in Custody Cases: Do Courts Really Care Enough?” published by the New York State Bar Association Family Law Review, Spring 2015, Volume 47, No. 1. Since her admission to the New York State Bar, she has actively specialized in the fields of matrimonial and family law. Ms. Schonfeld works extensively with rabbis, mediators, rabbinical courts, and other attorneys to strive to get people through these extremely difficult times in their lives as financially and emotionally protected as possible.

We Need A Hero

Dear Editor,

I strongly disagree with your front-page article on Sheldon Silver (“Heroes and Villains,” December 4).

Mr. Silver has been a loyal servant of his constituents and the Jewish community-at-large for decades. Without a doubt, he has been the most influential Orthodox Jewish politician in New York throughout much of his time in Albany, and perhaps was the most influential Orthodox legislator in America at the time of his arrest.

Sheldon Silver’s conviction on federal-corruption charges is profoundly saddening on many levels. His legacy as a public servant is ruined, even if he ends up vindicated on appeal. He and his family face embarrassment and disgrace. He faces a lengthy jail sentence, possibly for the remainder of his life. His conviction also has created a huge chillulHashem.

By putting a strong defense of Mr. Silver on the front page of your newspaper, you have opened up a conversation about the good and not-so-good of what has happened. A conversation of that type cannot be helpful or productive, and more likely than not, will be hurtful to Mr. Silver and his family. It is bad enough that Sheldon has been tried and convicted in a public trial. Must he also be tried and possibly convicted in the court of public opinion of the Orthodox Jewish world?

Your article was also wrong in the way that it defended him. The author’s comments about prosecutorial abuses have some validity and the things written there are for the most part true. However, there is nothing in the prosecution of Sheldon Silver which suggests that any misconduct took place here or that any misconduct led to his conviction on all counts.

The author finds fault with the crime of wire fraud. Yes, wire fraud is “like, a thing,” as the anonymous author’s equally anonymous children are apparently “wont to say.” According to Wikipedia, the crime of wire fraud has been on the books since 1872. Virtually any type of fraud committed over the phone, internet, radio, or in the time when the statute was first enacted, telegraph, constitutes wire fraud. There is nothing new or novel about the crime Sheldon Silver has been convicted of and your article was wrong to suggest to the contrary.

If the author wants a remedy for the prosecutorial abuses he or she writes about (whether or not they were involved in Mr. Silver’s case) or even from the broad reach of the wire-fraud statute, the remedy is with Congress. Good luck with that!

Was there enough evidence to convict Mr. Silver, and will the verdict be overturned on appeal? I haven’t followed the trial and do not have an opinion. Your author, by contrast, mounts his defense by citing to “a number of legal experts,” all unnamed. I question whether anything productive is accomplished when unnamed legal experts, with unknown familiarity with the case or the judicial process, are cited as authority.

Finally, I cannot understand why your paper would publish a front-page article on such a highly charged issue with an anonymous byline. There might be reasons why the author might need to be anonymous, such as being prohibited by judicial or legal ethics from making a public statement. If so, that should have been stated in the article. Instead, your article presented a controversial defense of a beloved figure who has become controversial, written by an unknown author. It is true that Sheldon Silver was “Our Man in Albany” and he deserves our support. But by putting a front-page defense of Our Man in Albany, by an unknown author, with unknown knowledge or experience, and citing unidentified legal experts, I believe you did Mr. Silver a big disservice.

Pesach Sod

Editor’s Response:

We published the piece on Sheldon Silver precisely because he has endured being picked apart and vilified in the general press long before last week’s conviction. The verdict of guilty on all charges is indeed sad on both a personal level for Mr. Silver and his family, as well as for the Jewish community he has fought for and been identified with over all these decades in Albany. It is true that even if his conviction is vacated or reversed on appeal that his image and reputation will have been tarnished beyond repair. Unfortunately, reality dictates that regardless of decades of good work, going forward he will be remembered for his errant and irresponsible ways. We see nothing wrong or unusual about providing a difficult situation with some wishful thinking.

Both Sides Of The Coin

Dear Editor,

The 5TJT staff wrote a relatively long article about Sheldon Silver’s conviction last week (“Heroes and Villains,” December 4). With a stage and an audience, the 5TJT staff had the opportunity to denounce corruption, applaud the conviction, and discuss the outright chillulHashem that took place. Instead, they took the opportunity to attack the prosecutor handling this case and prosecutors in general.

I also find it odd that this paper, which serves the Orthodox community, would come to the defense of a man who has spent years holding back funds to yeshivas. I am specifically referring to his shutdown of the yeshiva tax credit championed by our very own Assemblyman Phil Goldfeder, and broadly referring to the years of taking stands against what would have significantly lessened the tuition burden on our community.

We’ve had local politicians get arrested, charged, and convicted before. One example was State Senator Malcolm Smith, whose district covered Far Rockaway. I don’t recall a single article crying about an overzealous prosecutor then.

The part about this that I find most ironic is that our newest assemblyman, Todd Kaminsky, a former prosecutor, only made a name for himself by going after a Republican congressman named Michael Grimm. Grimm was the only Republican representing NYC in the House of Representatives.

Yes, it’s the same Republican Party that this paper is constantly endorsing. The same Republican Party that seems to be Israel’s only ally. And what about Michael Grimm himself? Before running for Congress, he was an FBI agent, often working undercover. He’s also a war hero; he was awarded numerous medals while serving in Iraq as a marine. He put his life on the line numerous times over the years to save others. He is literally a hero. Something the former speaker and our current assemblyman cannot claim to be.

And the charge? Lying about taxes for a restaurant that he is a part-owner of. Not embezzlement. Not bribery. Not corruption. The day after the charges were announced, Todd Kaminsky announced his retirement from the federal prosecutor’s office. He was rewarded with the assembly seat for going after Grimm.

We as a community need to stop being reactionary when it comes to Orthodox Jews in legal trouble. The days of landowning nobles arresting a Jew to ransom him off for profit are behind us. We don’t need to cry foul every time a Jew is convicted in a court of law.

Yaakov Goldstein

Editor’s Response:

As a U.S. Attorney, Todd Kaminsky led prosecution against corrupt Democratic elected officials as well—so much for the suggestions that the Grimm prosecution was meant to launch his political career. The Grimm prosecution was not a factor in Kaminsky’s election to the Assembly, where he is, by the way, doing an exemplary job. As far as our coverage and even praise of Sheldon Silver’s good work over the years, that is what our mission is: to present news and analysis of events and personalities with a special attachment and connection to the Orthodox Jewish community. When an Orthodox Jew gets in trouble and is convicted of any type of crime, it is not necessarily the time to abandon him, as it seems you would like us to do.

By Yosefa Wruble

It began on chol ha’moed Sukkot with the murders of Na’ama and Eitam Henkin, whose joint funeral I attended hours before Shabbat began. We experienced a hellish three weeks in Jerusalem, and then they blockaded the city so it became a bit “quieter.” The attacks escalated again in more vulnerable areas, and things continue to worsen, both in Israel and around the world.

We have become accustomed to speaking about this period as a “wave” of terror. But all of us here know that periods of calm are a facade. In the past seven and a half years since making aliyah, and four and a half years since I got married, I feel as if there have been few breaks from the madness. Since Zevi left for a month of reserves last summer during the war and Yoni fought in the heart of the Gazan mess, there has been little time to recover.

Perhaps it is because I am older and more aware. Perhaps it is because my circle of loved ones has widened and is more susceptible to loss. Perhaps since becoming a parent, I have been filled with love and thus more easily alarmed. The periods of calm are a facade that Israelis need every once in a while to keep sane, to keep raising our kids with purpose and joy, and to help us build this country as if the entire world wasn’t rooting against us.

But terrorism threatens me daily with a sense of futility and pointlessness. Will I even see my children grow? Will I celebrate a twentieth wedding anniversary? Will that baby in her belly ever be born? What purpose is there in building if someone will just snatch it away with a kitchen knife or a pair of scissors?

During periods of escalated terrorism, people here often say things like, “Don’t let the terrorists win! Make a huge wedding! Go on all the buses! Live life normally, in defiance of those who try and ruin ‘normal’ life!” But life isn’t normal when you look over your shoulder for suspicious pedestrians while walking to the park with your kids; when you unabashedly stare down all of the city gardeners (with shears in their hands) as you run past them at 7:15 a.m.; when the conversation before a twenty-minute car ride with your husband is, “You sit in the front and I will sit in the back so that if they shoot or throw stones, our kids won’t be orphaned”; when every thought about long-term planning starts with, “If we live until then . . .”

Maybe I’m neurotic, but something tells me that I’m completely normal. These thoughts don’t dictate our lives. If you would watch our family going through our daily routine, we’d seem pretty regular. We dress and feed the kids, bring them to gan, we go to work on buses and in the car, we come home and play, take baths, and go to sleep. But underneath that normalcy is deep fear. I worry about burying my children, I worry about them burying me, and I worry about the children I do not yet have. When will it be our turn? Am I even allowed to give expression to these horrible thoughts that keep me up at night?

I feel a collective sense of survivor’s guilt. How do you eat the sushi that just arrived at the door after reading about a murder that took place mere kilometers from your doorstep? How do you sit down to a weekly dinner with your family when you can practically hear the eulogies of a young boy from your kitchen window and the sirens of the ambulances rushing their way to try and save someone’s life? We could ask ourselves these questions under normal circumstances, as there are always people mourning and suffering at any given moment. However, the reality in Israel, small and interconnected as it is, makes these questions echo so much louder.

This spiral of unhealthy thoughts is just that: an unending spiral. On most days I do a commendable job at suppressing them. I have learned the cognitive tricks to keep them away and have recently found a friend in the discipline of mindfulness. But these thoughts are present with a legitimate anchor in the current reality. They are not merely the fabrications of an anxious mind, but the reality of a life spent in a conflict-ridden land. Sure, life can take many unforeseen routes anywhere in the world, but the acute awareness of the fragility of life is the gift and curse of living in Israel.

As I write this, I am sitting next to my husband in the waiting area outside the operating rooms in Hadassah Ein Kerem while our 14-month-old daughter, Shomriya, is undergoing surgery to remove a cyst lodged at the edge of her small intestine. While I do not do it enough, writing has developed into a living tefillah for me in recent years, and thus I decided to write this letter in a vulnerable moment.

After reciting Tehillim, after eating the challah roll from the gracious Ezer Mizion women, I wanted to offer what is my most genuine prayer at this moment for the safety of our daughter and for a normalcy in our reality. Sitting across from us is a large Muslim family waiting while their loved one is operated on as well.

While Zevi and I recited Tehillim, the matriarch of their family also prayed. We checked the news, and so did they (we heard them watching videos of this morning’s terror attacks on their phones). We offered them an extra chair near us. When they saw us smile at the surgeon’s report, the matriarch smiled too. (Author’s note: Shomriya has since been moved to the children’s ward and is recovering beautifully from surgery, thank G‑d.)

It is a surreal reality we live in, one that emphasizes the differences between peoples over the similarities, often out of necessity, and often to our detriment. I volunteered for this; Zevi was born into it. It is a life we would never abandon and which has little hope of becoming simpler in the coming decades. But we are here for the long haul. We are here to birth, to raise, and to build; to plant, and, hopefully, to reap. Life in Israel and life with children constantly reminds me to cherish every day. Sometimes, that is all we have.

Yosefa Wruble, originally from Woodmere, lives in Jerusalem with her Sabra husband and their two young daughters, Esther and Shomriya. Yosefa is a doctoral student in the Tanach department in Bar-Ilan University and teaches at MaTaN, a women’s beit midrash in Jerusalem.

The Rav of BJX sharing Judaism with students

Unaffiliated students at a BJX center in Brooklyn

By Rochelle Maruch Miller

Bring them the forgotten masses, the seemingly apathetic who possess a pintelehYid, who yearn to reignite a hidden candle. There’s a spiritual revolution taking place within our community, as the Brooklyn Jewish Xperience (BJX) inspires, empowers, and enthralls the next generation with the beauty and meaning of Torah Judaism, history, and ahavas Yisrael.

“What we accomplish every Shabbos is unbelievable,” said Rabbi Moshe Fingerer, who cofounded BJX six years ago with his brother Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer, mara d’asra of BJX. I spoke with Rabbi Moshe, who serves as executive director, on a recent motzaeiShabbos, while he was still on a “spiritual high from the Shabbos experience.”

A BJX Shabbos is a magical experience, positively impacting the life of every participant. According to Rabbi Moshe Fingerer, the aura permeating the shul’s environs is not unlike that felt at the Kotel.

“We have a Shabbaton every week. Each Shabbos, we have a davening that is extraordinary. We use the metaphor of the Kotel because we have Jews of every persuasion and from every background davening together in a show of achdus. Everyone is davening together—college students from secular backgrounds, former chassidim returning to observance, balabatim from the community, every type of Jew from every stripe. And no matter where they are from, there is a tremendous sense of camaraderie that is palpable. Their arms are around each other; they are singing and celebrating the sanctity of Shabbos and the beauty of Yiddishkeit. We infuse our program and all the participants with the joy of Yiddishkeit. That’s the reason for the success of our program, BaruchHashem—we imbue them with a sense of joy for Shabbos and for Yiddishkeit. It changes their perspective about Judaism from negative to positive. Once they have participated in one Shabbaton, they keep coming back for more!” Among the many community lay-leaders who take an active interest in BJX are Mr. Moshe Caller, who serves as chairman of the board, and Dr. Faygie Zakheim, who graciously hosts almost every Shabbos meal and is a caring “mom” to the college students and young professionals.

At BJX, participants savor the joy of Shabbos amid much festivity. Almost every Shabbos morning, an aliyah is given to someone who never had a barmitzvah. An aura of great festivity ensues as everyone wishes the celebrant a heartfelt “Mazal tov!”

BJX makes Judaism and Jewish life accessible to Jews of all backgrounds and affiliations. It is a home away from home for the less-affiliated college students and professionals. They offer classes, stimulating social programs, and networking events. Each of their centers, located at Kings Highway and on Avenue K, is a hub of spiritual and personal growth, servicing an ever-expanding student base. The BJX centers provide a chic yet warm and congenial environment that makes everyone feel that they are an integral part of the experience—which they are! Their dynamic faculty members offer a range of innovative classes such as the Crash Course in Conversational Hebrew, Jewish Philosophy, and one-on-one tutorials to appeal to everyone’s interest. BJX has served thousands of Jews in the community. BJX’s multifaceted programs are a lifeline and provide “spiritual oxygen” the world over.

Under the guidance of Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer, whose passion, dynamism, and ahavasYisrael is creating a revolution for the Jewish people, BJX draws a diverse student body. One of their students has been nominated for an Emmy award for filmmaking, while other students include physicians, lawyers, podiatrists, an FBI agent, members of the Marines, Air Force, and IDF, government employees, and other professionals.

Baruch Hashem, every BJX student is a success story, a true nachas for KlalYisrael.

“Dear Rabbi,” wrote a grateful student, about to embark upon building a bayis ne’eman b’Yisrael. “It would have been impossible for me to be getting married to a Jew and building a Jewish home without you and BJX. You’ve carried me all the way through the various steps of growth and I am forever grateful. Thanks to BJX, I have a community of likeminded individuals who strive to become more affiliated to Judaism and who really care about me.”

“Because of BJX, I am now able to observe Shabbos,” says a recent graduate of the Beginner’s Judaism Course. “My family has no knowledge of what Shabbos is about. I have amazing families who host me every Shabbos. I finally know what Shabbos should really be like. It’s to your credit that so many of us have begun observing Shabbos properly.”

“I got to grow as a Jew more than I anticipated,” says a recent graduate of the Leadership Course, which is the beginner’s course offered at BJX. “The material was applicable and I loved listening to the lectures (given by) the CEOs. They are accessible and presented the material in a clear and lucid manner. They showed us that you can observe everything in the Torah and be successful in your career.”

Like many of his fellow classmates at BJX, Alex grew up in a secular home in which Judaism had never been a priority. Initially, he had viewed Judaism with skepticism. Since attending Shabbatons and classes at BJX, Alex’s perspective has changed. “I’ve come to appreciate the beauty, traditions, and history of Judaism,” he says. “Coming from a secular background, I feel that BJX reignited an old candle in me, that I have experienced a spiritual transformation.”

“The best part of the Leadership Course were Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer’s lectures,” said Jeff, another recent graduate, “He is very inspiring—a great rabbi, well-spoken, and relatable to everyone. It’s a golden opportunity—I never wanted the door to close. I would love to take the Leadership Courses 2, 3, and 4. I am definitely coming back!”

So transformed have their lives been by their respective BJX experiences, that recent graduates of the Beginners Judaism course will be spending their midwinter break learning in Israel or Lakewood, immersed in Torah study.

“We feel that all of these students are our children and I’m so proud of them,” says Rabbi Moshe Fingerer. “It makes all our work worthwhile. We have a student who is now a madrich in Eretz Yisrael who is mentoring talmidim from other yeshivos. By supporting BJX, you are saving the next generation. You are giving them a lifeline and giving them oxygen.”

“There’s nothing more thrilling than nurturing a seedling that, minus your intervention would have withered, and is instead blossoming and growing into a Jew,” said Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer, mara d’asra of BJX. “The transformations we witness are astounding—students who had biases against Judaism and were anti-Israel now love every facet of Judaism and want to go learn in Israel.”

“The Talmud says the Torah began in the year 2000 from creation. This is odd, as the Torah was given in 2448, and not 2000,” explained Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer. “The Mefarshim explain that Avraham Avinu was 52 years old in the year 2000 (he was born in 1948), and it is in this year that he began spreading Judaism to the masses. It’s amazing that this is the definition and epoch that ultimately defines Torah. Not a mass revelation at Sinai, but one person—Avraham—working valiantly and sincerely to bring others under G‑d’s wings. If you want a chelek in Torah, I urge you to get involved and support BJX, which is following in the footsteps of Avraham Avinu and bringing Torah to the forgotten masses.”

Rabbi Fingerer adds, “The world is at a precipice now, fighting jihadists and terror. Chazal tell us that achdus, unity, is the antidote to evil against all Jews. At BJX, the unity is palpable; all types of Jews coming together in brotherly love. BJX offers warmth and tolerance to all. The Talmud says that whoever teaches Torah to someone who otherwise would never have learned, this teacher can nullify the worst gezeiros, decrees, and has the ability to bless. When you contribute to BJX, you have a portion in teaching Torah and Judaism to those who would never have learned, and can be the recipient of untold blessings and protection.”

For further information, please e-mail info@bjxcenter.com, visit www.bjxcenter.com, or call the BJX helpline 646-397-1544 or office 718-513-1093. Tizku l’mitzvos!

At the Amudim Conference

Rabbi Zvi Gluck

By Larry Gordon

Zvi Gluck of Amudim says that when a young man from within the New York Jewish community dies of a drug overdose, he makes it his business to do the taharah. “It’s my way of saying that I am sorry, that we are sorry—that I and we failed you.”

There is a lull in our conversation as I try to absorb the impact of what he has just said. That is, that the epidemic of drug deaths in the frum community and the assault on the health of the community as a whole from the scourge of destructive addictive behavior is weighing down on us and sometimes crushing us. Gluck is fighting that rare but still destructive momentum that affects few, but still way too many.

I observe to Zvi that he leads an interesting life, but I wonder how he synthesizes these experiences and is able to stay sane and keep it together for himself. He responds that when things really get him down, as is sometimes the case, he thinks about and focuses on all the good that is being done to help people out of these difficult situations.

And Zvi Gluck did not just happen upon or stumble into his current professional endeavors. His father, Rabbi Edgar Gluck, carved out a niche and created an existence which only all these years later is something that we now realize and have gained an appreciation for. And that is the idea of working with the police, working with prosecutors, district attorneys, political leaders, and even the judiciary as a way of demonstrating to these bureaucracies that when there is a Jew that falls and gets into trouble, there is a community out there that cares and wants to help.

Gluck, even at the relatively young age of 35, has seen a lot of the underside of life and how societal difficulties have managed, especially over the last few years, to seep into the fabric of what used to be an insulated frum community. Asked what he and his team at Amudim do, he describes it in one word—interventions.

And those interventions run the gamut from dealing with the coroner’s office when there is a death that might involve foul play or drugs, matters of sexual abuse and the controversial dimension of involving the authorities and the fallout that results, problems caused by alcoholism, gambling, and so on down the line.

Zvi Gluck and his associates at Amudim have rapidly evolved into the address and phone number to visit and call upon when there is a crisis on any level and of just about every proportion. In the case where a number of young men have been sentenced to four-year terms for their involvement with the now famous effort to extract a get, a Jewish divorce, through forcefulness and the threat of violence, Gluck is there to try to ameliorate the situation and soften the severe impact these events are having on the families involved.

He said that the sentencing judge had originally considered sentencing the young men to 18-month terms but then upped all the sentences to four years. Gluck says that the judge may have been reacting to the Orthodox Jewish press outlets that had in some instances been bemoaning the convictions and the loss of this corrupt means of extracting a get from recalcitrant husbands.

It is an unfortunate and sad chapter in our evolving history that leadership needs to deal with in a constructive and forward-looking manner. Over the near term, it now falls to Zvi Gluck and Amudim to figure out how to minimize the impact this story will have on the families involved, as in some cases young family men are carted off to prison for several years.

When I mentioned to Zvi the idea that they might be able to serve their time at a minimum-security prison camp, Gluck said that unfortunately that is not possible. He said that those convicted of crimes that involve violence are not eligible for that level of incarceration and that they would have to serve their time at a regular prison. He mentioned Allenwood Correctional Facility—a low-security penal institution in Pennsylvania—as the likely venue for them in which to serve their sentences.

Cases of this nature, surprisingly enough, are among the more manageable projects that Mr. Gluck is involved in. Things get rough and even more disturbing, he says, when he is called on to deal with the increasing number of sex-abuse cases in the frum community. For a journalist, the handling of the topic presents a dilemma. After this piece appears, people are going to write and call to ask why we have to cover subjects of this nature. But the lack of coverage and the shying away from the subject is exactly the approach that encourages those with a predisposition to abuse to do so. They hope that there will be a reluctance to report on the assaults and that it will be easier to gloss over, cover up, and over the short term forget about.

And then there is the equally shocking matter of drug overdoses in the community. Since Rosh Hashanah, Zvi Gluck says, he has been involved in arranging funerals and burials for eight young men in the New York area alone. Some of the men had wives and young children but they had a terrible drug addiction with lethal consequences. Most died from an overdose of heroin. He says that the drug has become popular because it no longer—as was the case for a long time—has to be admitted into the bloodstream through injections. It can now be inhaled or taken orally. The absence of needle marks delays the period over which one can easily be identified as an addict.

Still, he says, though his involvement in people’s lives varies from day to day, it is the sexual-abuse cases that he finds most troubling. He says this type of abuse leads to alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling problems, and also more abusive behavior as a way of dealing with one’s victimization.

Zvi Gluck and his organization desperately need funding to keep a growing number of young adults in therapy for a plethora of problems—some named above. That therapy can cost as much as $10,000 a month above and beyond what insurance would cover, and sometimes as much as six months of intense therapy is required.

Towards that end, he invites the community to “The Game Changer,” a unique event being hosted in the North Woodmere home of Jack Freud on December 24. (See ad on Page 45 of this week’s issue for additional details.)

By far the most challenging aspect, he says, of what he does is getting community leaders to deal with the difficult reality of what is taking place. On the heroin epidemic, he says it’s so bad and spreading that barely a week goes by when he does not hear stories about men breaking into cars in the shul parking lot looking for money on Shabbos or rifling through pushkas when they feel no one is looking. “Drug abuse leads to crime,” Zvi says; “there is no question about that.”

On the proclivity for getting involved in abusing another person, especially a child, Zvi Gluck says that sadly the statistics are on the abusers’ side and he is certain that these facts are computed by offenders. “The numbers on sexual abuse say that only 15% of these offenses lead to arrests and then only 5% lead to a conviction,” Gluck says.

He says he has been involved in cases where there was sexual abuse with the offender coming to grips with his illness but refusing to enter into therapy because that would impact on his children being able to secure shidduchim of any type.

He adds that he has clearly observed the connection between being a victim of sex abuse leading to Jewish young men and women going off the derech and along those lines there have been several suicides lately of young women who were both abused as youngsters and who have religiously rebelled.

Zvi Gluck does not work alone. He is supported by board members like Moshe Wolfson of Queens, Adam Sokol, Adam Westreich, and Mendy Klein of Cleveland, along with others prominent activists. “Amudim is unparalleled in the way they stand by people,” says noted psychologist David Pelcovitz. “They are angels,” said State Senator Simcha Felder. The organization receives direction on halachic issues from Rav Elya Brudny.

Perhaps one of the most gut-wrenching testimonials about Amudim comes from Gavriel Sassoon, who lost seven children in a house fire last year in Flatbush. The tragedy was incomprehensible and Sassoon said recently that to a great extent it was Amudim that got him through those difficult moments. Rabbi Sassoon explains on the Amudim video presentation that he wanted to inter his children in Israel but that his American and Israeli passports had been burned in the fire. Rabbi Gluck got Israeli authorities to open the New York consulate on a Sunday morning to issue new papers to Sassoon so that he could travel to Israel for the burial of the children.

The bottom line is that it is not a pretty world once you step out and cross some of society’s red lines. Zvi Gluck relates that he is currently involved in a case of a 22-year-old young lady in New York who was being sexually abused by her brother-in-law. Out of frustration and possibly because she did not know where to turn for help, she went to seek advice and guidance from her other brother-in-law. The end of this horrid story is that the other brother-in-law began abusing her too.

These shocking stories are endless. Society is in a downward spiral but that may not be anything new. What is new is the impact and the ferociousness with which these damaging influences are wreaking havoc on our community. Zvi Gluck and Amudim are pushing back. They are having some success, but they need your help.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

Halachic Musings

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman

During Chanukah, we see a proliferation of menorah-lighting in public areas. For many years now, Lubavitch chassidim have propagated the public display of Chanukah menorahs throughout the United States, Canada, and even Europe. In the headlines recently, for example, the Eiffel Tower hosted a well-publicized menorah-lighting ceremony. Some embrace this and label it as pirsumei nisa, spreading awareness of the miracle of Chanukah. Others claim that there is no mitzvah of pirsumei nisa being fulfilled here, and they are not too happy about the church-and-state issues and controversies that such publicity has engendered. A few readers have actually requested that the topic be addressed in a Five Towns Jewish Times article.

Two Issues

There are two issues involved. The first is whether or not there is a concept of pirsumei nisa for the general non-Jewish public. The second issue involves whether a Chanukah menorah lit in a setting that is not a home would fulfill the mitzvah of pirsumei nisa.

The Chemed Moshe (#672) writes that there is no pirsumei nisa for gentiles. Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt’l, writes almost categorically that there is no pirsumei nisa in regard to gentiles (I.M. O.C. IV #105:7).

On the other hand, one of the Rishonim, the Sefer HaNiar, writes that there is a pirsumei nisa for gentiles. This is also the view of the Hisorerus Teshuvah (Vol. I #153) as well as the Sefer Beis Pinchas (by the author of the Pischa Zuta).

This could be borne out by the verse in Yechezkel (38:23), “Thus will I magnify Myself, and sanctify Myself, and I will make Myself known in the eyes of many nations; and they shall know that I am Hashem.”

Rav Yeruchim Olshin, shlita (Yerach LaMoadim, page 438), writes that there is, in fact, pirsumei nisa for gentiles on Chanukah, but not on Purim. His explanation is that the Greeks tried to export their pantheistic theology all over the world. The Jewish nation merited the eight days of miracles on Chanukah to counter this Greek heresy. The pirsumei nisa is, therefore, to spread the belief in the Oneness of the Creator throughout the world.

Translation Of ‘Tarmudai’

The debate may depend upon how we translate the word “Tarmudai” that appears in the Gemara in Shabbos 21b. The Gemara explains that the Chanukah licht may be lit each night until there is no more Tarmudai traffic in the street. What does Tarmudai mean? Are they a nation that gathers thin wood, as Rashi explains, or are they a subgroup of Jewish people?

Rashi says that these Tarmudai gather thin wood. They wait until people go home and light their fires. When the people run out of firewood, they go back to the “late” market to get some more wood from the Tarmudai people. It was kind of like a Talmudic-era 7–11 convenience store. The key point, however, is that Rashi identifies them as foreigners, which supports the opinion that there is a pirsumei nisa for gentiles.

The Rif (Shabbos, page 9 in the Rif’s pagination), however, identifies them as Jews. How so? He identifies the wood itself as Tarmuda. Thus the collectors of the Tarmuda wood are called Tarmudaim.

On the other hand, it could very well be that Rashi just happens to know that they were gentiles, but still may hold that pirsumei nisa applies only to Jews. And it could also very well be that the Rif just happens to know that they were Jewish, but he could be of the opinion that pirsumei nisa also applies to gentiles. How so? It could be that when the Tarmudaim are still around to sell the wood, the Jewish customers are still around looking to be the buyers. These arguments are presented by Rav Nosson Gestetner, zt’l (L’horos Nosson Vol. IV #63) and Rav Moshe Shternbuch (Moadim u’Zmanim #141).

Interestingly, however, Rav Elyashiv, zt’l (Sheves Yitzchok Chanukah, chapter 4, cited in P’ninim M’Bei Midrasha, siman 99) suggests that it is unlikely that the pirsumei nisa is on account of the customers of the Tarmudaim, since the retailers generally stay later than the customers. Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita (in Taamei D’Kra after Parashas Vayeishev), is of the same opinion. Thus, it seems that Rav Elyashiv, zt’l, and l’havdil, Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita, both seem to understand Rashi and the Rif as debating this point.

Conclusion On First Issue

Thus, we see that notwithstanding seemingly categorical statements about whether or not there is pirsumei nisa for gentiles, there is clearly a halachic debate about the issue. Rav Feinstein, zt’l, held that there is not, but other leading Torah figures held and hold that there is.

The Wider Issue

But while there may be ample room for a wider pirsumei nisa, it is clear that the mitzvah lies only within the specific parameters that Chazal have delineated. One such example is that the pirsumei nisa of Purim is limited to the time of Purim. Reading the Megillah to Jews on Chanukah would not be a fulfillment of pirsumei nisa because it does not fit within the parameters that Chazal had delineated.

By the same token, it is clear that the obligation of Chanukah-lighting is within the dwelling of the house (see Rambam Hilchos Berachos 11:2–3). While it may be incumbent upon the person to ensure that he is in a house, there is no obligation outside of the venue of the home.

It is clear that the mitzvah of pirsumei nisa is only fulfilled when and where there is an obligation to light. Lighting a menorah publicly in a venue that is not a house with a dweller who is fulfilling his obligation to light is tantamount to placing a full-page ad in the New York Times saying that the miracle of Chanukah happened. This is not to say that there is something wrong with such an advertisement, per se. Indeed, taking pride in our religious beliefs is a positive thing. But it should be understood that this is technically not a fulfillment of pirsumei nisa. Since it is not the fulfillment of a mitzvah, the issue must be weighed carefully in every time and place.

A lichtige Chanukah!

The author can be reached at Yairhoffman2@gmail.com.

Ambassador Danny Danon

President Obama during his speech
on Sunday

NYS Assemblyman Phil Goldfeder in Paris lighting the menorah
in front of the Palais Brongniart

Rabbi Abraham Cooper

By Larry Gordon

It was last Sunday evening, the first night of Chanukah, and we marked the occasion in a real yet contemporary way. The speaker was Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations, Danny Danon. The newly appointed representative at the UN said that his professional life as a diplomat representing Israel is today’s real-life Al Hanissim.

“You have to walk the halls and attend sessions at the UN in order to recognize the light projected by Israel and the impact it has on the darkness that is the United Nations,” Danon said.

So you see we do not have to necessarily reflect upon the way things used to be in ancient times in order to appreciate and even experience the miracle of Chanukah. It’s right here before us, impacting our lives.

For the Maccabees, it may have been a military challenge more than today’s diplomatic interfacing that takes place in what is referred to as Turtle Bay on the East Side of Manhattan. But that seems to be the destiny of Israel—a fate that is articulated with profundity at this time of year, which we express in tefillah.

It is not too much of a stretch to say that the Al Hanissim prayer has a great deal in common with events that are currently playing themselves out as it affects Israel and the international community. Today Israel is strong and somewhat independent. At the same time, while the country is militarily able to defend itself, leads the world in high-tech innovations, and is about to become energy independent, they also display a dependency and even neediness on some levels.

Compared to the status of the Jew in the world 75 years ago, we can acquire a finer understanding of the prayer that reflects on the triumph of the Maccabees against the Assyrian Greeks, thanking Him for “delivering the mighty into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few, the impure into the hands of the pure, the wicked into the hands of the righteous, and the wanton sinners into the hands of those who occupy themselves with your Torah.”

Perhaps the lines are not as sharply drawn today as we imagine they were a few  thousand years ago. The foundation and the outline, however, seem to be starkly similar to the events of yesteryear. The attempt to denigrate and even destroy Israel in whatever form possible continues to be relentless.

This unbalanced contrast has become even more noticeable of late. The uptick in terror attacks around the world seem to lack any understanding or acceptance in the world’s mind unless it can be attached or at least associated with Jews and Israel in some fashion.

When the theater was attacked and 130 people were killed in Paris, it was immediately noted that sometime in the past the Bataclan Theater was owned by Jewish businessmen. For a few hours, it seemed plausible that this was the rationale and explanation for the terror attack from ISIS operatives. But then when it was learned that the theater had not been owned by Jews for quite a number of years, it was discovered that the rock group on stage at the time, “The Eagles of Metal Death,” had performed in Israel in July 2015. That must have been the reason, some explained.

At the end, it became clear that the Paris attack had nothing to do with Jews or Israel. It was secular Europeans that the terrorists were after.

Last week in San Bernardino, California, it was inexplicable how someone could burst into an innocuous holiday office party and murder 14 people while wounding another 21. But wait, there was a man there who came to work in a yarmulke on some occasions and even sometimes wore a tallis. It was soon discovered that he was what was called a Messianic Jew—except that he wasn’t Jewish. But he was conservative and posted critical comments about Islam and ISIS on his Facebook page. He might have been the reason for that attack. It might have been that big red yarmulke he liked to wear. Then again, the attackers may have just hated America and wanted to kill whomever they could.

Now Donald Trump, who cannot reduce or minimize the amount of media attention he gets no matter how hard he tries, comes along and announces that in his opinion, the U.S. should cease to allow entry into the country of any Muslims until, as he says, “We figure out what’s going on here.”

America is both up in arms and confused about the leading Republican presidential candidate’s stance on the issue. Does Trump mean all Muslims? What about those out of the countries who are citizens and want to return? Will they be stuck outside the country? And what happens with Muslims in the U.S. military who are serving overseas but want to come home for the holidays or on leave? And what about those who are married to Muslims, have Muslim names, but are not Islamic? What about those who are Muslims with Americanized names? And finally, what do we do with those who have names that sound Islamic but are not?

Rabbi Abraham Cooper of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles said that in his estimation it is a big mistake to “place all Muslims in one basket.” He said in a telephone conversation with this writer on Tuesday that as Jews, we should be especially sensitive to witnessing an episode like this when we know what it is like when we are the targets of this type of treatment.

Leading up to the Trump comments, in his address from the White House Sunday night, President Obama said that even though America was the target of what might well have been an ISIS attack in California last week, the U.S. fighting ISIS would encourage and strengthen ISIS. So we are better off not fighting them.

Additionally, the president said that it would be wrong to take any of this out on all Muslims and he is right on that count—that should not be done. At the same time, 56% of all anti-religious attacks in the United States are directed at Jews. Only 13% of similar-type attacks were directed at Muslims. Still, never did the president, the attorney general, or any official see fit to comment about anti-Jewish assaults or violence.

This convoluted and distorted way of thinking leads to statements like that of the Swedish prime minister, who said that knife attacks on Jews in Israel are not terrorism. And that was accompanied by his foreign minister commenting that Israel was executing Palestinians. Also, we can categorize under the same heading Secretary of State John Kerry’s comment a few weeks ago about there being “legitimacy” and a “rationale” for some terror attacks while there is none for others.

So amid all the nonsense and not too well-thought-out pronouncements, at the end of the day how are we supposed to deal with ISIS and the terror they seem to be bringing to our shores?

Rabbi Cooper of the Wiesenthal Center says that as Jews, it is incumbent upon us to find common cause with Muslims who live and work amongst us. He points out that one of the San Bernardino SWAT team members that killed the husband-and-wife terror team was a Muslim of Iranian descent. It is irresponsible and ridiculous to function with the impression that every Muslim is dangerous or that he or she poses a risk or danger to those not Islamic.

That is why, he says, the Wiesenthal Center had to speak out against the Trump statement. His solution is for the responsible military parties fighting ISIS to target and eliminate the leadership of the extreme crazed group.

Today it is the extremists who are the few, while those with sane and responsible positions are indeed the many. But the political correctness today serves as an obstacle to getting the job done. That needs to change—but that might take a miracle.

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

By Hannah Reich Berman

It is unclear what makes one person busier than another. It makes sense that an adult with children of her own would naturally be busier than her mother who is a senior citizen and no longer has youngsters to care for. But there is another component to this scenario: it is entirely possible that a person is actually only as busy as her state of mind. Because regardless of how busy a mother is, or what she is in the middle of, when one of her offspring calls her, she will take the call. Mothers are never too busy for that, and whatever we are doing is never as important as what they are doing.

This does not work in reverse. As devoted and caring as our children are, if they are busy when we call, we will get the following response: I’m busy now, Mom; I’ll call you back. And immediately, before we even get the chance to say OK, we get the dreaded dial tone! At that point there is little else a mom can do but hang up the phone and hope that this very busy soul will even remember that her mother called and will call back. When my own children are too busy to talk, they usually sound a little breathless as well as harried. A mother is the only family member who is never too busy to take a call.

Some situations are more extreme than others. Not long ago, a friend of mine was sitting on the table in a doctor’s examining room with an inflated blood-pressure cuff wrapped tightly around her arm and, without a moment’s hesitation, she asked the doctor to wait just a second before taking her pressure because she saw her daughter’s name flash across her iPhone screen and had to take the call. It did not matter to her that the doctor gave her a less-than-flattering look indicating what he was probably thinking at the time—that this woman had lost her marbles. Asking the doctor to wait was not an easy thing to do, but she did it.

On one occasion, when she went for a blood test, a call from one of her kids came after the doctor had tied that tight rubber band around her upper arm. She asked him to wait so she could take the call before he went hunting for a good vein to plunge the needle into. And she did that although it felt as if that tourniquet was steadily draining the life out of her arm. What was she thinking? Maybe she reasoned that, worst comes to worst, she has another arm. So she took the call and ignored the sensation of cold in her fingers and the fact that they were turning blue.

Although I believe I’m a devoted mother, I would never do any of that. For starters, I would not mess with a doctor’s time, because I know there are other patients sitting in the waiting room and he would not want to fall behind schedule. The other reason I would never do what my friend did has nothing to do with my consideration for the doctor. I would never interrupt a doctor as he was getting ready to draw blood because the rubber band that squeezes my arm hurts! I panic if the nurse’s voice comes over the intercom and lets the doctor know that there is a phone call for him. It takes every ounce of willpower for me to keep my mouth shut when what I want to do is let him know that I would appreciate it if he waited to take the call until after he finishes drawing my blood. I reason that the call can wait—my arm cannot.

While I am pretty good about not taking calls when in a doctor’s examining room, I am proud to say that on most other occasions I will take calls from my kids. In my mind it is admirable that I answer my phone even if I am in the middle of a mah-jongg game. Of course I am not perfect about this, since I do make it clear that I am unable to talk: “Honey, I’m playing right now, so if this isn’t important can I call you back later?”

On the other hand, I have made some supreme sacrifices in order to take a call from one of my children. For example, to take a call from my offspring, I once disconnected a call that I had made to the Nissan Motor Company. And lest anyone think that was not a big deal, let me assure you that it was. It was a huge deal because I disconnected my call after having held on for 15 minutes. And for that quarter of an hour I had to listen to the most annoying music. And, as if the music itself was not bad enough, it stopped every two minutes so I could hear the following recorded message: “Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and it will be answered in the order in which it was received.” Not that I believed that message, mind you. Why would I believe that I am important to them if they kept me waiting that long? Nevertheless, I hung up on that call knowing that I would have to make the call again and suffer through more music and repeated messages. Only for my kids would I have done that. Now that I think of it—I am a regular saint!

All of the above goes for a grandmother as well. When any of my grandchildren are trying to reach me, I make myself available. However, calls from them are rare. Grandchildren do not call. They text! But when they are trying to reach me I make myself available. Although I know better, I am beginning to think that maybe I am just not that busy after all. That’s just the way it is.

Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and gives private small-group lessons in mah-jongg and canasta. She can be reached at Savtahannah@aol.com or 516-902-3733.

By Mordechai Schmutter

My son was chosen to give out nosh at Shabbos party this week. And by “chosen,” I mean alphabetically. I don’t think they do this on merit.

If you don’t have kids, I should explain that Shabbos party is a really big deal. It’s not every day that you get Shabbos party. It’s only about twice a week. The first time is in school on erev Shabbos, where even though the school normally has a “no nosh” policy, there are two exceptions:

Amendment A. If you bring in enough for everyone, it’s OK.

Amendment B. If it’s a half day, they don’t mind pumping the kids full of nosh and sending them home. To repay the parents for the sugar cereals the kids were fed for breakfast at home.

The other time Shabbos party comes about is at home on Shabbos afternoons or, if Shabbos afternoon is really short, then sometimes on motzaei Shabbos. Our home Shabbos party is the one time per week that I give my kids candy without making them actively earn it. This is as opposed to the candy that I give out during the meal when my kids answer questions correctly—I have to pay them to pay attention in a school where I already pay tuition. I’m paying both sides here. And there’s also the candy they sneak during the week, for which they somehow always forget to sneak the wrappers into the garbage. And the candy I have to give them for behaving at the dentist.

But Shabbos party is a great way to help your kids look forward to Shabbos, as well as a bribe to keep them quiet on Shabbos afternoons and let you nap.

I mean yeah, sure, there’s the Shabbos seudah, where we have a lot of great foods, and some of them are just as good as Shabbos party. But that’s not a party; that’s a meal. You’re stuck at the table and you have to make polite conversation, and you have to help, and you have to be quiet for divrei Torah, and if you get up to play, your parents don’t stop bothering you about it. And you can’t have dessert unless you finish everything on your plate, but that’s three entire courses, which is something you never have during the week.

“Who on earth can eat chicken after they’ve already eaten challah, fish, and soup? I weigh 35 pounds! You think I’m interested in dessert? How come when I go to a chasunah, I’m allowed to get up between courses and dance around? A chasunah’s a party, right? At what kind of party do I have to sit quietly at the table and listen to the grown-ups talk?”

Yes, a lot of the conversation does focus around the kids, but it’s mostly, “What did you learn in school?”

“Why are we talking about school? What kind of party is this?”

For kids, Shabbos party is candy. For adults, Shabbos party is the nap that the kids let us take if they want us to give them candy. We call it “party,” but it’s actually a hostage situation full of blackmail, bargaining, and kids fighting quietly downstairs and trying not to wake us up. That’s what we celebrate.

The nap thing is actually my wife’s rule. I don’t mind being woken up, because I can fall back asleep in three seconds. I’m always that tired. But I still don’t like being asked to adjudicate a pointless fight between two screaming kids before I open my eyes.

This might seem mean, but how else do we get them to let us nap? Kibbud av? Yeah, we tried that. The first few years of their lives was us waiting for them to learn about kibbud av in school so we could use it to magically get them to listen. (I figured that if we taught them about it ourselves, they might not believe it’s a thing.) The next few years were spent wondering why they hadn’t learned about it yet.

But they have learned about Shabbos party. They learned about it the first week of kindergarten. Every kindergarten has “Shabbos parties,” as opposed to regular parties, where everyone brings in some kind of nosh, and unless everyone comes in with the same thing, they all go home with a bag containing an unwrapped mix of several types of nosh that do not go together, such as candy corn and popcorn, and everything tastes like everything else.

But with Shabbos party, only two kids bring in candy. In kindergarten, there’s a Shabbos Totty and a Shabbos Mommy, and they both bring candy into the marriage, which is, I guess, what makes it such a good shidduch—their mutual love of candy. A lot of couples don’t have that.

My son Gedalyah is in pre-1A, and for those of you who don’t live in the New York area, pre-1A is a grade that we made up so we don’t have to teach our kids aleph-beis and the ABCs in the same year and have them write words going in random directions using a combination of Hebrew letters, English letters, and numbers, like an abnormally safe computer password.

But there are no girls in the class, so according to a note Gedalyah brought home, he was chosen to be something called a “Shabbos host.” The hosts are in charge of buying the food. The guests are in charge of showing up five minutes before hadlakah and asking after Shabbos whether they should strip the beds.

But that wasn’t all the note said. Apparently, he was supposed to bring something very specific for Shabbos party: apple juice.

This was a first for me. Last year, Gedalyah could bring whatever he wanted. And as far as I know, no one ever thought to bring a drink. When it was his turn, I used to bring him to the store and let him pick something, and then I’d say, “No, pick something else,” because there’s no way I’m sending in 22 of those muktzeh candy-laser flashlights so the teacher can spend the rest of the day not teaching. Then I’d steer him toward something cheaper. Though one time he convinced me to send in whistle lollies. I made sure to include an apology note.

But the rebbe specifically wrote that Gedalyah had to bring two bottles of apple juice. I don’t know how one kid is supposed to bring two bottles of apple juice. Two bottles of apple juice is heavier than my kid.

But two bottles is apparently just the right amount for the class, provided the rebbe pours the drinks. If the kids pour, it’s enough for two kids to spill, disastrously, and then lean into their cups, surrounded by juice, and sip it like Havdallah.

(That’s not how you sip Havdallah? I guess I need longer naps.)

I was worried that Gedalyah couldn’t lift the juice bottles, so I had him bring up both bottles from the basement, just to see if he could. He was able to do it with one bottle in each hand, but he had to keep putting them down. I figured he’d be OK once they were in a knapsack.

So I put the bottles in his knapsack, and he couldn’t get it on, because you have to first lift the knapsack behind your back with one arm, and he couldn’t do that. I had to drive him to yeshiva, get out of the van, and put it on him myself, and then watch him tumble backward for a bit before leaning forward and running, trying to keep his momentum before he fell over. I have no idea what he did when he got to the stairs.

In our house, there’s also no Shabbos Totty and Mommy, unless you count the actual Totty and Mommy. I’ve been the Shabbos Totty for 12 years now, and it’s not as much fun as it sounds. All Shabbos afternoon, the kids are asking, “When’s Shabbos party?” “Can I earn my Shabbos party back?” “I don’t like this week’s Shabbos party.”

Does that happen with Shabbos party in school? The kid shows up and everyone starts bothering him? (“What did you bring?” “Can I have?”) No, not when you’re the guy bringing the apple juice. Especially if you’re hunched over, hoping your rebbe notices you and helps you get your knapsack off before you fall over. But even the kid with the candy doesn’t get hassled, because there’s a rebbe moderating it. I’m a Shabbos Totty every week, but you know what I need? A Shabbos Rebbe.

Maybe I should appoint one of my kids as the Shabbos Rebbe every week, and it would be his job to tell me what to buy at the last minute and make sure the other kids don’t hassle me. I need my sleep.

What does my son’s rebbe do every Shabbos? You think he wouldn’t mind coming over?

Mordechai Schmutter is a weekly humor columnist for Hamodia and is the author of four books, published by Israel Book Shop. He also does freelance writing for hire. You can send any questions, comments, or ideas to MSchmutter@gmail.com.

Students at Bnos Bais Yaakov in Far Rockaway visited Grandell Rehabilitation Center in Long Beach to spread the joy of Chanukah.